Defining your Trans-ness

To be fair, I'm borrowing this line from Miss America's first autistic contestant when she said "I define my autism, it does not define me."

Defining our individual level of "trans-ness".is equally as important. From closet cross dressers to transsexual activists, defining ourselves is key to our personal lives. Even if it is just you and the mirror or you and the world- just thinking "Wow" this is really me defines you.

I thought initially writing this blog, or working on a book or doing a workshop defines me as a transgender woman. In truth though, all of those things are external.  What really defines me are my friends, my relationship and family.

Ironically, I think so many think I had some sort of easy past to get here. On the contrary we all know we have paid considerable dues on our gender journey. Plus a certain segment of the transgender culture even seem to think those dues put them on top of the food chain.

For me though, the difficult part is not forgetting the stages along the way.  Remembering those dark years so long ago when "the girl in the mirror" defined me keeps me real. I just hate when I catch myself climbing up on some slippery pedestal.

Now the most exciting aspect of defining my transgender womanhood  is the simple fact I'm still evolving. I'm still defining being a trans woman.

But no longer being a trans woman defines me.