Gender Dysphoria

Saturday Liz and I went out to eat with her brother to celebrate two birthdays...hers and her son's. The steakhouse we went to is very familiar to me and really, I have never had any problems there. So, I couldn't understand why my dysphoria was giving me fits. It can only be described as a deep seated groundless anxiety.

Of course, it started to settle down as once again, outside of a couple looks, I didn't receive any negative attention. Even when I used the women's restroom.

I suppose I might as well just get used to it. Being transgender brings with it the inherent need for feminine acceptance and often, the acceptance is very hard to find in a world out to justify it's own acceptance.

On many occasions, I refer to my dysphoria as a form of PTSD. Which could be true too. I personally have never met any trans women who haven't experienced it. Some to the extent of subjecting themselves to seemingly endless painful medical operations.

I just went through too much error, in the "trial and error" cross dressing period of my life and, when you think of it, lasted much longer (so far) than my full time out and about years as a trans woman.

It's ironic too that I haven't experienced any significant public problems in years, so I can't justify the way I feel. At all. Perhaps I might as well just get used to it!

Veterans Day

As I sit here on a cold Sunday morning snuggled in...my mind travels back to my own military experience.

Then, I thought of all of those who came before me and especially all the men and women who paid the ultimate sacrifice.

Plus we all know the disproportionate amount of transgender troops who took their closeted secret all the way to the grave.

To all of you who served,  or are serving now, you have my thanks!

Her Cup Runneth Over

Connie wrote in and commented on my very rusty bucket list. Before we get to her comment though, I have a short experience to relay from last night.

It was Liz's birthday yesterday and since my baking skills are lacking, I stopped and bought us a couple pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream to celebrate. Without the candles...quite a few in her case! :)

When I went to cash out, at the Walgreens, a young man rushed up to take my cash/card. As I was fumbling around for my card, I looked up and found him staring me right in the eye. As he did, he became really enthused to wait on me. Chance are he was entranced with meeting a real live transgender woman. Or better yet, he was a novice cross dresser himself.

Now onto Connie and her rusty bucket:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEENovember 8, 2018 at 12:39 PM

"Who needs a bucket when, already, her cup runneth over?

I used to look at life as a long "To Do" list. I was prolific in my list-making, too. In fact, in my procrastinating way, I would spend as much time making lists as I did doing the things on the lists.

A list is all well and good, but it's how we prioritize that is important. The love of family and friends should be at the top of the list, and it's amazing how so many of the other things just fall into place when one does that.

A bucket list contains those things one wants to do or experience before death. At my age, many of the things that I never got around to doing or experiencing can no longer be accomplished. I never had listed regrets, and I'm not about to put them on my list now.

One of my favorite songs is "Nature Boy.":

The greatest thing,
You will ever learn,
Is just to love,
And be loved in return. "

Awwwh!  So nice :)