August Fun?

It doesn't seem possible, but July has come and gone. It's time again for the first Friday of the month when Liz and I normally meet an eclectic blend of transgender women and the occasional cross dresser for a night of karaoke "merriment."

Probably, the most positive part of the evening is it's an excellent chance for first time girls to come out in public and just begin their feminine journey's without a whole lot of potential hassles.

Of course, the biggest potential problems come from the petty in-fighting within the group. Sometimes it gets so bad, even I am embarrassed.

On the bright side, the month of August will be very busy for me. I have five medical appointments, including my first voice visit. I also have three support group meetings and one with my hair dresser, at which time, we make a decision on whether to keep my hair the color it is or let it keep progressing  (or regressing) back to it's original color. My secret hope is to some day get back to some sort of a blond shade but we will see...literally.

Also during the month, we are taking another mini vacation up to Columbus to revisit some of our fave spots there.

Mix in several other mini trips with Liz and August is turning out to be a busy month!

Trauma

I read a post today from one of my Facebook contacts I know in person. Plus, she also spent time in my hometown where she went to college.

It seems, she went back to re-live the "good old days" on the college campus, instead all she got was a sense of deep trauma. She couldn't figure it out because she was discussing the days before she transitioned into the transgender woman she is today.

Of course I got to thinking of why the town brings me so much trauma too. In my case it has to do with several factors. The most major of course, had to do with all the loss of life which happened around me.  From parents, to spouse, to close friends, I lost them all there. Then there were the two businesses I lost in the city I'm from. And, finally, there are the two properties I still own there I am trying to get rid of.

In fact, I don't have to go there to suffer the trauma, I feel it right now. I have my own little trick to get rid of the stress by using a phantom eraser in my mind. With my meditation it works fairly well...most of the time.

The trauma which I suffer which still baffles me is when I go for a night out. Literally, it has been over five years ago since I have received a very negative comment. Outside of the occasional mis-gendering, I just don't have many problems. So why the trauma? I consider it a form of PTSD which most likely will be with me forever.

Might as well learn to live with it. Such is a transgender life.

Finding a New Voice

As I am only approximately a week away from my voice therapy session at the Veterans Administration, I am keenly aware of any posts I find on my email feed on the subject.

I found one this morning on "The Washington Post" which put a bit of a different spin on the subject. 

I have decided to pass along a few excerpts:

 “We’re not just changing their voice pitch,” said Adrienne Hancock, an associate professor at George Washington and a pioneer in the field, according to many of her professional peers. “We’re changing how they express themselves.

”It is vital to transgender women to find the feminine voice that matches their gender identity, gives them confidence and helps prevent harassment.

Dena, the woman undergoing the training session — she asked that her last name not be used — explained the danger of being a transgender woman with a man's voice in the company of strangers.

“Passing is a safety thing for transgender people, and the voice is part of that,” she said. “It’s not just for me to be comfortable, but to protect me.”

The problem for transgender women is that finding a feminine voice is no easy task. As The Washington Post reported, testosterone, which transgender men take to build up their muscles and grow facial hair, also increases the size of their vocal folds, making their voices deeper. Estrogen, however, which most transgender women take, can’t shrink the vocal cords.

Go here for more.