Checklist

Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have been discussing the gender "teeter totter" or the gender fluidity of who we are as human beings.  Along the way, Emma Gray sent in an interesting comment:

Emma GrayMay 5, 2018 at 2:23 AM

" Indeed, I started off wishing that if I did enough, checked enough boxes, that I’d become female for all intents and purposes. It was like trying to hold my finger in the dyke only to always find more leaks. Slowly, incrementally, I started liking myself as I am, a woman whose just trying to be myself. I do continue to learn and craft my presentation, like most women I suppose. Regardless, like Popeye said, “I ams what I ams!”

"Popeye"

I agree Emma and had a similar "checklist" myself. I started out finding "safe spots" I could go all the time, where I would not be challenged at all. Shopping certain stores for clothing and bookstores were great locations for me. From there, I built my confidence and started to stop for lunch and even tried to use certain restrooms. Fast forward and I became the transgender person I am today...gradually.

If you are in a similar beginning situation as a cross dresser or novice transgender woman, I would recommend the same path. Plus, depending upon where you live, civilians are having an easier and easier time accepting our culture. Just be prepared to go back to the drawing board any number of times to help learn the basics of living as your non birth gender. After all, girls have spent their whole lives perfecting (or trying to) being women.  After a time you can reach that magic point (like Emma) when you too can quote "Popeye."

Before you know it, you will find yourself at a point where you have discovered who you were meant to be all along and have a chance to enjoy it!  We only live once.

At the least, it is a daunting task for anyone and I find it humorous when anyone thinks we have a choice being trans. Or, anyone else in the LGBTQ spectrum.  It's a life or death decision for many of us transgender individuals.

Thanks Emma! I have included a shot of "Popeye" himself for those of you who are too young to remember the classic cartoon character. Now, eat your damn spinach...like Popeye.

Weekend Update

Over the past year or so, I have become re-addicted to the political satire of Saturday Night Live. Last night's opening was one of the best I have seen. Including the surprise visit of Stormy Daniels. I have liked the opening credits since I lived right above NYC in the early 1980's. The energy of the "Big Apple" was incredible.

During my two year stay there, I managed to have several fun adventures. One in particular on Long Island during my cross dressing days. I have passed along the story here in Cyrsti's Condo about the night at a "transvestite mixer" where I "passed well enough to at first being denied admittance because no cis-women were allowed...un-escorted.  The CD "ego blast" from the whole episode ended up causing a number of huge fights afterwards with my wife. During that time also, I found I still wasn't cut out to be a stay home girl and doing the cooking and cleaning. I did get caught though sending a perfumed letter and picture of me standing over the stove through the "snail mail" to an admirer. The whole episode didn't set well the day my wife beat me to the mail.

After the two years though, it was time again to try and out run my gender problems by moving my wife and I back to Ohio.

Seemingly, the two year intervals were about all I could take because approximately two years after that, I accepted a job opening fast food restaurants in Southern Ohio along the Ohio River. For those of you who don't know, the State of Ohio is actually a very diverse state. With a mixture of urban, agricultural and rural areas.

I often wonder what could have been during this time of my life, if the gender demons weren't chasing me.

When I think about it more, I was just starting my transgender check list, which thanks to a comment from Emma, we will discuss in our next post.

The Gender "Tipping Point" Part Two

Recently I wrote a post here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning my Gender Tipping Point. Connie wrote in and added:

"In my case, my rising femininity was more a matter of dropping the dead weight of the masculine facade I had been carrying around for so many years. I guess I'm one of those for whom being feminine has always been easier, but I began transitioning because I could no longer compartmentalize my gender expressions (masculine and feminine) in living as two separate personas. 

Interestingly, setting myself free to live authentically has led to my giving less and less thought to my gender at all. We are all really a combination of gender traits, yet the transgender person is so much more aware of her, or his, own gender than is the average cis person. My own dream is to achieve that kind of balance, unconcerned with tipping whatsoever."

Thanks for the comment! I too give less and less thought to gender as I live as me. Plus, the more I hear (primarily from the younger set) about "gender fluidity", the more I like it too. I agree we are all a mix of genders anyway.

Unfortunately, society still dictates a strict gender binary be followed in most all circumstances, as seen by the number of transgender or gender queer kids who end up estranged from their families on the street.

I think too, the amount of time I spent falling off the balance beam (or "she saw" as Connie called it), could have been spent so many other ways. I am saddened on what could have been.

Then again too, crying over "spilled make-up" is a waste of time too.