You and Your Mother?

Perhaps I should save this post for closer to Mother's Day, but I received another comment from Connie concerning a Cyrsti's Condo post (Whose on First) about her Mom, so I decided to use it. It came from a comment I made which included the phrase "per Norm":

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEApril 18, 2018 at 6:08 PM

"Just to be clear, I never do anything per Norm. I do, however, do things per Norma, as that was my mother's name. I am reminded often by family members how much I resemble her, both in looks and in personality. That used to bother me a bit, but now I just accept it as an affirmation of my destiny to live life as the woman I was born to be.

Come to think of it, being compared to my mother is a label that has been put on me. I guess some labels are just inescapable."

Like many other transgender women, I, like I am sure many of us have spent a considerable amount of time wondering about our relationship with our mothers. It's ironic how close we were to having a "mother-daughter" relationship and never knowing it.

My mother and I were much the same, including the resemblance factor. We both shared the same restless personalities and a complete need to try to dominate the other.

She (my mother) was the one who suggested electrode shock therapy for me, when I came out to her after I got out of the Army. And it was me who took her first name as my middle name, when I legally changed it. I did it partially as an honor and partially to know I got the last laugh with her about being transgender.

I honor her because she went through the hardships of WWII and the Great Depression, which I guess "battle" hardened her to face the challenges she was to face having child birth. I was the first to survive after several still births and miscarriages. In fact, I could be the result of a hormonal drug given to expectant mothers back then who were having problems with child birth. The word is now, the drug could have had something to do with gender dysphoria. 

If I had actually turned out to be her daughter from the beginning, I'm sure my life would have turned out about the same way,...because she had her way of doing things. It was her way or the highway.

Obviously,  I will never know but on occasion it is interesting to think about.

Life Through a Mirror?

Most of us start this journey as a transgender woman, trans man, or cross dresser the same way...with trips to the mirror.

For most of us as well, we begin to separate from the mirror and have a tendency to want to try our hand living out in a brave new world. One of the opposite gender. When we do, at least we think we are moving away from the mirror.

When you think about it, all of our lives revolve how we see the world, or how it sees us. Crossing the gender frontier becomes so difficult when we already have specific gender ideas ingrained within us and something is screaming, wait!, that's not right. As we begin to live in the proper gender, often, the first thing we do is to do our best to at least look the part of our chosen person.

From there, the mirror gets much more intricate. Not only should you do your best to present your gender properly, you have to learn how to read others. A keen observation of whom you are dealing with can take you a long way. Especially, if you think you may be finding yourself in an unpleasant situation.

I guess you can say, a trans life could become truly one of smoke and mirrors but then again it doesn't have to and I am sure you know a cis gender person or two about whom you could say the same thing. Or, your life could be entering an extraordinary phase. Even phases though must come and go...and the extraordinary becomes mundane, as Connie says:

" Finding the extraordinary to now be ordinary. Then, when you think about it, life can truly be extraordinary by that very shift. As we transition to womanhood, we move past living through experiences on to discovering that we are free to experience life."

So true. and when it happens, the freedom is wonderful.

Make Up?

My other transgender - cross dresser support group (here in Cincinnati) announced yesterday, the date of it's first make up assistance workshop in May.

Being the smart a-s person I am, I always say, how could I ever try to improve upon perfection. If the truth be known though, I have many questions about working with my eyes, foundation and contouring. I would love help with all of them.

So, on May 14th, I hope to garner some individual attention, all the way to the point of taking my skin wipes with me to take off all my current makeup to have her start over. If indeed I have the opportunity. I'm afraid she is only going to address the group as a whole.

For some reason, it seems my skin is responding again to the hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and is going through another mini transition. Which I always heard was possible. I also switched to another slightly more expensive foundation. Which seems to be helping.

I do wish all of the makeup advice would have been available before the Trans Ohio Symposium at the end of April. I need all the immoral support I can get!