She's "Baaack!"

I did hear from Connie: "Well, you do have my personal email address, if you wanted to elicit an "off the wall" comment from me (maybe even to elicit an illicit comment). The truth is, though, that my modem bit the dust over a week ago, and I only just installed a new one last night - so I had not checked my emails during that time, either. The fact that I had well over 200 emails in my inbox, most of them not worth staying up all night to read, tells me I must waste quite a bit of time on a daily basis (I would have read one from you, whether it had turned out to be a waste of time or not :-).

Not having access to the internet is not so bad. Without even thinking about it, I almost forgot that I was a transgender woman at all! I suppose that speaks toward your post about being "natural." I had already been aware that I will never be able to go back to my old self, even for a few minutes, but taking a break from even the awareness of "transgender" felt good. It was like taking a vacation, really.

The funny (not really funny) thing about my little vacation came when I had to call Comcast for tech support. Apparently, even though I had changed my account to be in my new name long ago, the guy on the phone did not have that information. He would not give me (Connie) any information because I (Connie) had not been authorized by him (dead name). I was pissed, but I was unwilling to explain to him who I was. The result was that I had to go to the Comcast service center in person, and I brought my court papers with me to show my name change. That proved to be unnecessary, as the customer "service" rep already had the change on her computer. Still, I had to go through another mini-outing episode just to re-validate my own existence. So, "natural" is relative, and it still falls short of being a vacation."

While it's true I do have your personal email address, somehow time got away from me before I could use it. 

Either way, I am glad you are OK!

Connie, Where Art Thou?

In the transgender/crossdressing community, I know it is not uncommon for on line friends and acquaintances to "fall off" the beaten path and leave the "grid" so to speak.

Connie, though I am concerned about, since we go back so far and of course I have come to love most of her sometimes "off the wall" comments. Tied in with many very relevant ones. 

To make a long story short, if you wonder why I haven't passed along anything from Connie, it's because I haven't heard anything.

I hope she is well and I know she would say, "Leave Art out of it!"

I "Doesn't" Know It!

I was reading with interest Mandy Sherman's  latest blog post concerning her spouse and clothing Mandy wanted to wear. More specifically, a pair of white sandals. I'm paraphrasing now, but Mandy's wife all of a sudden was against her wearing the sandals which in the past had met and passed inspection. Obviously, Mandy was a bit confused.

I guess, no matter how far we transgender women journey to play in the women's sandbox, we still never come to the understanding of how a cis woman's thought processes work.

I face the same things with my partner Liz, and finally come up with I have a 50/50 chance of being wrong (which I am a lot!)

In my case, trying to get away without wearing a bra comes to the top of the list. It's like passing inspection from Mom on the way out the door with the best passive aggressive remark being, "You aren't really thinking about wearing that, are you?" I'm to the point now, I immediately turn around and pick something else to wear.

And then there is the "no comment" remark which is even worse. I ask her about my hair or clothes and hear nothing in return. So normally, I force her hand and go my merry (or not so) merry way because I know deep down I will hear about it later.

I believe the whole issue with most transgender women and/or cross dressers is we never had the in depth "training" cis-girls grow up with. In fact, I am more than a little envious I never had the chance to learn from an early age what it was like to grow up in the girl's sandbox. My feeling is, cis-girls are more affected by the mean girls before they form their own cliques to survive.

As I was Mtf transitioning one of my biggest lessons was, never totally trust a cis-woman's smile because often it hides a knife behind the back. As time has passed though, I have become quite adept at dodging most blows, or at the least, not letting them bother me.

Cis- women too I feel, use the changing of the mind to throw shadows which they learn at an early age. Flip the gender and wonder what it would be like to be growing up as a girl around brothers and figuring out ways to survive.  Hey! Changing my mind will and did confuse them.

But since I did not benefit from growing up as a cis-girl, I can say I don't understand it. But then again, I can change my mind and say I do and Mandy good luck with those white sandals!