Does't This Suck?

Unidentified Pinterest Photo-NOT Pat-no pearls!

From Pat, this experience which more than likely brings back stressful cross dressing memories to most of us:

"As you may know my ability to get out and about is somewhat dependent on when I am home alone.  Last night was one such opportunity and my plan was to eat, shower, shave, call my wife, dress and then head to the B Lounge, about 20 miles away.  They were doing their Enmoda Thursday with karaoke from 9-11 followed by a drag show.  I have been there on other Thursdays but since I get up at an ungodly early hour to go to work I always leave as the DQs (drag queens) are arriving and have never stayed for the drag show.   I do often do my part to try to clear the place out by singing a few songs.

Last night was proceeding as planned.  I had hoped to stay to see a part of the drag show or perhaps talk with one or two of the DQs before I left so I put a little extra effort into my dress and makeup.  I applied the foundation and blended on a top coat...a little extra blush, eye liner and shadow and I had a new tube of mascara so that went on extra thick, followed by lip-liner and lipstick.

I had on my black bra with breast forms, black slip, nude pantyhose and a silky nylon black and white print wrap dress with a light thin white jacket.  The blonde wig comb-out seemed to work well and with my 3" black pumps, the dangly clip on earrings, my double strand of pearls around my neck and small pearl strands on my wrist (costume jewelry)  I was ready to launch.

My typical M.O. is to open the garage door and wait the 3-5 minutes for the interior garage light to go out and then get into the car and drive away from the condo.  I figure that once in the car, even if the garage light goes back on when the car bumper breaks the electric eye at the garage entrance I will be out quickly enough to avoid detection.  The part of the condo development where I live are double units.  Each building has two units with adjoing garages facing the street.  Our adjoining neighbors are a nice Italian heritage couple in their 70s so I figure that they are in for the night when I head out dressed.

While waiting for the garage light to go out I loaded my purse, checked my hair and makeup, grabbed a large travel cup of coffee and a bag with my nicer 3.5" peep toe pumps for changing into when I got to my destination.

With the coffee in one hand, my purse over one arm, my bag with the spare shoes in the other hand and my car keys ready to go I opened the door to the garage, stepped down the two steps to the garage floor, heard my  heels clack on the garage floor for the 3-4 steps to the car door when the garage light came on as my neighbor entered the garage and broke the electic eye beam at the garage entrance.  To use the phrase "a deer caught in the headlights" comes close to describing my reaction.

I fled back into the condo and quickly stripped off the dress, wig and heels and stuck my head out the door when my neighbor said he wanted to show me something in the driveway.

Back into the house to throw on slacks, get rid of the bra, slip and breast forms and toss on a polo shirt and then splash some water on my face and wipe of as much makeup as I could.  I figured it was dark out and with my neighbor in his 70s perhaps his eyesight should not detect the traces of makeup, mostly my eyeliner and mascara.

With slip on shoes covering my stocking feet I went out to talk to the neighbor.  He had some rubberized squares that he was planning to bring to his summer house where he had built an arbor and he wanted to show me the squares as well as photos of the arbor trellis and the plans he had followed to build it.

Every encounter with this neighbor includes an update on his and his wife's current physical ailments, his exercise routine and the seasonal sports team.  He is a big Yankee fan and I had figured he would have been in his condo unit watching the Yankee game and this had been the case until he heard my garage door go up and he came out to show me the floor squares, arbor, etc.  After going through the current Yankee situation I quipped "how about those Mets" and that finally brought the conversation to an end. 

It was now an hour later than I had planned to get out and I just did not have the energy to redress and reapply my makeup so my plans for an evening out ended with a huge scare.

During our conversation in the driveways and our garages neither of us mentioned the way I was attired when the garage light went on and there were no comments about any makeup dregs on my face.  I have no clue as to what elements of my attire and presentation he may have seen or more importantly what may have registered in his mind.  This neighbor is a very nice guy, very friendly but a big time yenta.  I guess we just go forward living one day to the next now that my heartbeat is back closer to normal."

You have my sympathy Pat. Sometimes dealing with any 70 year old guy is a challenge. Then again he is a Yankee fan as sad as that may be.

Plus, maybe if he did see any vestiges of your makeup-he may want to compare products!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another special Sunday edition has hit your virtual front porch! Our Sunday here in Southwestern Ohio is a very typical 85 degree with medium humidity. Even still, we have a big 'ol' cup of hot 'Joe' (coffee). Let's get started!

Page One: The Week that Was-or Wasn't: Here in the Condo we actually recovered several topics we haven't visited for awhile. One of which was gender privilege. It's a tricky subject because essentially we should know we will lose it as we transition. The first couple of times you are talked down to or around to other guys, the process was sort of a right of passage. Depending upon how far you do transition, the longer the passage of course. As with many "passages" a transgender journey between the genders provides many unforeseen  circumstances. The main one is losing the personal inherent security men naturally have over women. I too found myself in a couple rather dangerous situations early in my life as a cross dresser. To be sure, women have their privilege too, but typically it's less obvious and I think-less organized. Finally, some of us come to the point of saying why do I have to be treated as a second class citizen?

Page Two: Opinion- Women as a Cohesive Group: First of all, I am grouping all women (including transgender) into one group to make my point. Plus, with national elections front and center already on the scene, out of all the male politicians bending our ear-there are two women. Why only two? First, perhaps the nature of human evolution enables men to be better team builders/leaders?.I have always said it is much easier to fit into a man's "power" system. You could be more athletic,stronger,faster and/or richer-that's it. Women form clique's and they are a tough group. Many more layers to work with. Take Hillary Clinton for example, regardless of all the controversy surrounding her, how much of the considerable female vote will she lose because she is a "cold fish" or her stance on abortion-to name a few. More than a few of those same cliques are the ones who want to reject any or all trans women from their circles of potential influence. If you really want to get something done as a woman, do you really want to exclude those of us not born with a vagina? Or-is the topic just another indicator of playing in the women's sandbox?

Page Three: The Back Page- Last week, we did write about HRT and it's health benefits. My disclaimer was HRT is one of my most asked about questions, but one should never put tossing your body into a gender hormone turmoil over life itself. Sometimes though, taking the chance on hormones does define the only choice one can make and survive-at any age.

You all have a great week and thanks so much as always for stopping by "the Condo."

Drafted to the Losing Team?

Here is a topic we haven't delved into in a long time here in Cyrsti's Condo- male privilege. Truthfully, I ran back across the subject from an unexpected source: MarieClaire.com. In fact the site is running a whole transgender series called "Trans(form)". There is quite a bit of wonderful information in the post so I will pass along some of the highlights.  Including a book which hits home on the subject with the obvious and then goes farther, much farther:

Julia Serano

"A lot of trans women are aware that there is male privilege before we transition–that women are not treated with as much respect as men," says Julia Serano, author of Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity. "But there's a big difference between knowing privilege exists and the literal experience of losing it."  For Serano, the sexism hit her all at once. "All of a sudden, the world is, to a certain degree, a lot more dangerous or precarious," she says of discovering her new reality. 

The transgender women we (the author) spoke with cited a litany of new challenges on the other side of their transition, which will be painfully familiar to the cisgender women reading it: getting talked down to, getting talked over, getting catcalled in the street, getting dismissed in the workplace, and so on. "I would be talking about a patient, and a male medical student would be kind of glazed over, staring at my breasts," says Dr. Marci Bowers, the first transgender surgeon to ever perform a gender-reassignment procedure."

Dr Bowers though went on to say: "With their unique perspective of gender relations, some in the trans community actually find themselves sympathizing with men. "I think there's a lot of what I'd call female privilege, too," Dr. Bowers adds. "A man is never trusted like a woman is trusted: by strangers, children. When men deal with each other, there's a certain distance they keep. There's a sisterhood and a safety among women, and it's a very helpful feeling."

I always felt being admitted to the "girl's sandbox" was far from a "given" but once I was trusted and admitted, I did feel the strength of the"circle" as I had never did with men during my life.  I think I was drafted to the winning team!

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