WiggingOut

Approximately a year and a half ago, I was able to take the HUGE step of leaving my wigs behind and going public with my own hair.

To this day I believe be able to do just that was one of the biggest positives I could ever do to improve my overall presentation as a woman - which doesn't explain a random thought which invaded my noggin this morning.

All of the sudden I felt a huge wave of wig nostalgia. I can only guess at the reasons plus I know genetic women wear wigs too of course.

I quickly considered the chilly temps and the fact wigs were extremely uncomfortable for me to wear on a hot summer day or maybe I just wanted to change up my look for a bit. Another "perk" of being a woman.

I really doubt if I will wig out and pull out my giant plastic tub of my old wigs and wear them in public. I may however have a fun mirror game someday.

If you are curious at all, here in Cyrsti's Condo I do have a "Timeline Picture Page" which describes my trips through different colors and styles of wigs in the past.

Perhaps the most accepted wig by the public was this one I wore in the picture on the right. This was taken about 3 months before I went "wigless".  My top fun story (of several) with this wig was when I was at a drag show and one of the drag queens came up to me and said, "I love your wig".  I simply said,"How do you know it is one?"

The problem with this wig was I had an incredible tough time with the hair line, which may have been partially due to me taking scissors to it over the years.  It started life being incredibly thick and I thinned it over the years to make it cooler and more passable.  It was this wig which was along for the ride in my first days of being able to go sleeveless and the sensations on my bare back were nothing less than heavenly!

These days, my own hair is probably about three fourths as long as this one and has much more wave to it.

Certainly soon I will have to have some fun and play "dress up" in my own room.

The Cult of Hysteria

Every once in a while or I read about someone who has started HRT and wonders if the female hormones running through the body will dramatically affect all parts of their life.  When they come home now will it be time to fix dinner, clean the house and pretty much settle in to making someone a good wife.

Of course you may take on that role but I'm fairly sure there is no scientific evidence low "T" and high "E" are causing transgender women everywhere scurrying for their aprons and cookbooks.

On the other hand, I'm beginning to think that my hormonal changes are becoming deeper than the obvious physical changes, hot flashes and the ability to cry.

When I started HRT, I was determined to let nature run it's course and not allow various stereotypes to cloud my judgement.  I was tired of reading too many stories from people I thought were trying too hard to be a girl.  Right or wrong, more than a couple of the common themes didn't sit right with me, like HRT causing an immediate love of everything feminine all the way to the image of "pristine" women's rooms when I kept sitting in other women's pee as I sat down on the toilet.  But you know, that is just me and who really cares what I think?

Since I do hold the power of the written word around here though and are truthfully not as bitchy as I seem sometimes, here is what I do think.

First, if you were predetermined to be the housewife type before HRT, you certainly will be afterwards.  The more our inner woman is allowed to grow, the more amazing is the process.  If you take me for example, I never minded doing the cooking but I am a self professed terrible house keeper.  No amount of HRT is ever going to change that.

A fair amount of HRT is changing my emotional makeup though.  I found I really have no control now of my tears.  I can cry because I'm sad or melancholy or even happy and found tears were only the beginning of changes.  Imagine my shock when all of the sudden I wanted Humphrey Bogart or Clark Gable to look into my eyes and sweep me away in a classic movie scene. Where did that come from?

My newest "revelation" is I'm more "high strung" than I have ever been in my life.  Call it what you want but now I deal with more paranoia and emotional hang ups than ever before in my life. Yes, I call it hysteria.  I always felt women carried their fair share of it and yes, I now have my own and it's not the most pleasant side of transition I have experienced.

All in all though, I know this is what I signed up for and every blind corner I face comes with it's own set of new challenges. Some good, some not so good. I'm easy though (not cheap), don't make me a hysterical housekeeper and give me a shot at Humphrey Bogart in a classic movie- I'll be fine!

 

Cyrsti's Condo Archive Post: "Mommies' Little Girl"

This is actually from 2010 and was reposted in 2012 and has always been received well, so here we go again. It was actually called, "What Kind of Daughter Did Your Mom Want?"

This picture was from the end of
my "blond period" about 5 years ago
and was only taken as a response to
those "who wanted to see more of me"
As you can see the quality is terrible.

"Yes girlfriends, I'm talking about us. Some Mom's really wanted a daughter and dressed some of us as girls. Some Mom's may have found it interesting to relate to us on some level as a girl and let us in on a little makeup or clothes. Other Mom's may have shut us out all together.

All of the mother/son interaction intrigues me because of a couple of reasons. The first would be the simple question of why me? Did my Mom set me up for all of this? (My brother believes she did). The second would be is how much I look like her. How many of you believe your Mom knowingly or even unknowingly opened your door into a female world? I remember vividly the way my Mom blotted her lipstick and made sure the rest of her outfit was together before she went out. I would bet you my brother doesn't!

 The age old question-environment or genetics? Was I predisposed to be trans? Most likely it's a question I will never know. (Update! Perhaps the DES drug my Mom very well could have taken during her pregnancy could been the answer.) Maybe the whole "daughter" question explains my total lack of respect for women who do not take care of themselves. This girl was raised believing that appearance was part of the female gender.

My Mom passed away years ago and I believe in two sure facts. She would like the fact I try to keep up a good appearance. She would hate the fact I'm a lot like some of the girls I brought home she didn't like and live a very wide open lifestyle. Neither Mom or me or even my daughter are shy women."