Friday, July 30, 2021

Familiarity?

Pre Covid martial arts banquet.

 Every time I finish an appointment with my long time therapist, my partner Liz always digs deep to discover if I have told her (or anyone) of my deepest secrets.   Yesterday, I finally told her (Liz) no I don't go that deep with my therapist. I have a tendency to dance around any subject which pertains to me. We have been having sessions now for nearly a decade now so her familiarity with me allows me to dance away and rarely does she (therapist) catch me. 

I'm sure the reason I do it is goes back to the majority of my life when I struggled to hide my gender  dysphoria totally along with the inability to even understand what was going on with being bi-polar. Needless to say the entire process was very difficult and I became very good at hiding my true self from others. 

Even though Liz still has to take a pry bar to me to get me to show emotions, I am trying in my own backward way to be more outgoing. 

As far as my therapist goes though, maybe I should pull down the barriers and let her have it. Then again maybe not. My Dad was very emotionally withdrawn. It's just so difficult to overcome. 

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There is always One.

  Event Venue where party was held. There is always one person who does not know how to or wants to keep their mouth shut around my wife Liz...