Thursday, January 7, 2021

The Past can Haunt You

 This morning as I was going through all my social media seeking topics to write about here in Cyrsti's Condo, I stumbled upon a transgender woman seeking any help she could find. Her problem was years ago she went to a therapist who used the Kinsey report to treat patients with gender dysphoria.

I know I am going to over simplify this but let me explain why I will. To make a long story short, the transgender woman seeking guidance was told to lead a "dual" existence because she looked too much like a guy. You know the old story, big stature, big bones...blah, blah blah. So the person in question decided the therapist was right and set about to live an ill fated dual gender existence.

I feel so deeply about this subject because I went down the same road with an early therapist I paid my hard earned money to see. He essentially brushed me off with the "man up" and get over it answer. Of course that didn't work and ultimately led me down the path to self harm. I realized quite early I was cursed with testosterone poisoning and processed the stereotypical male characteristics mentioned above. I just did my best to find women's clothes which helped me to disguise my male body and mold it femininely the best I could. I guess you could say I was obsessed.   

Fortunately, these days, times have changed and there are more and more therapists who have knowledge and understanding of what gender dysphoria means and how it impacts a transgender person.  

I'm not sure either how effective therapy is on communicating how little appearance has to do with actually living a feminine life. In many cases hormone replacement therapy, along with a basic knowledge of makeup can get you by in the world. Or farther. I can use Venessa as an example and can vouch for her appearance. I have had the opportunity to see it all.

Remember too, we transgender women suffer from societies view of women as a whole. The pressure to be attractive is intense. Cis women learn from an early age to work with what they have. Transgender women have to learn quickly without much help. Which is a topic for another post. 

In the meantime, if you underwent therapy years ago and are still trying to live within it's unrealistic goals. It could be time to try it again and get out from under the past. 

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