Home Alone

This is quite the comment from Connie. It has to do with my comment concerning paranoia spending any real time alone due to the effects of the Corona 19 virus:

"I have a difficult time falling asleep without the TV on, myself. In fact, I have a difficult time staying awake while watching TV any time after 9:00 PM. Many times I've awoken to some infomercial being shown at 3:00 AM while I'm still laid back in the recliner. At that point, there is no sense going to bed, if it's a work day, since my normal wake-up time is 4:00 AM. If I were to retire to the bedroom to go back to sleep, though, I'd have to turn on the TV there in order to do it. Without the TV on, I can't turn my brain off. The trouble is that, when I should be sleeping, my brain will turn all-OC on me - rehashing everything that really only required a passing thought. The TV is just enough of a distraction to keep this from happening.

There are very few TV shows that are so good that I really regret missing the second half of them. I've often wondered if I might be finishing the plot lines in my own dreams, but I don't remember many of my dreams, anyway. Most of them are probably no more interesting than the show that had put me to sleep in the first place!

I'm trying very hard to resist the temptation of reflection these days. I have so many things that need my attention in the here-and-now, and the uncertainty of the world around me is out of my control. I've lost some work, my wife has been asked to stay at home without pay indefinitely, and our governor has announced that he is seriously considering mandating that anyone over the age of 65 not to work at all. I don't know how they would police that, and I already joked to my boss that I might have to start a half-hour later to give me more time on my makeup in the morning - I only need to look 64. :-) Geesh, I've been a trans woman so long that there was time I could have been arrested for presenting as a woman on the street. Now, that's OK, but I could still be arrested for being an old woman on the street. Without enough income, though, I may have to resort to living on the street (in which case, the police wouldn't even give me a second look in this city).

I am trying to live as close to what was familiar to me before this Covid-19 thing started. There's no way to keep up with the changes coming, sometimes by the hour. Having a job to get up for every morning helps, but I still will get up and ready for the day if the work goes away - maybe at 6:00 AM instead of 4:00, though. And I'll end the day falling asleep to the TV, too!"

 Indeed we have entered scary times. Our three income family just lost one income and our main source of money (Liz) maybe forced into part-time hours...or worse. My income comes from Social Security which these days has been under attack from the current administration. Fortunately I have not let it bother me to the point of being up all night watching the television.