Friday, December 8, 2017

Can We Learn?

Some staunch transgender woman opponents say it is impossible for a person born a biological male to ever understand what it is like to truly transition into a cis woman's world.

Of course I am biased, but I say it is possible we transgender women can totally assimilate a cis woman's lifestyle.

I used to refer to the process as "playing in the girl's sandbox."  When one begins to try to survive in a feminine world, women teach us tons, if they know it or not.

Remembering the early scratch marks I received as I learned the terrain, it's a wonder I made it at all. But I did. Here's an example:

I had to learn where passively aggressive women carried their invisible knives and how to watch your back when they tried to use them. Also I had to fight those who thought I was some temporary cross dresser who would head home, put my pretty clothes away and resume my life as a guy. The fight didn't last long as I established my true feminine personality and flourished . 

Human beings are sharks and cis women are the top mental predators. Once cis women couldn't find any BS in my Mtf transgender transition, they, for the most part had no problems with me.

And then there are the ever expanding examples of gender violence and sexual predators. Both tie trans women even closer into the overall universal feminine experience.

Finally, most cis women will never understand the amount of time trans women spent during their life watching and learning from afar. The ultimate form of flattery. Most cis women just can't understand we were always women...just born different.

So, those are only a few of the reasons I believe we trans women can understand a cis woman's world and on some occasions, our male experiences even help.

A true " Both Sides Now."  (With all respect to Judy Collins)

1 comment:

  1. As we both heard from our spouses early on, "You just want all the fun parts of being a girl!" For me, that comment made me really examine my gender identity. It caused me, at once, both shame and indignation. I hated myself for living out a fantasy at the expense of our relationship, but how dare she say that it was only a fantasy! By all appearances, though, she was right. I had been holding back my real femininity in order to be able to compartmentalize my feminine and masculine presentations. When I explained that to her later, and she graciously accepted my need to let go of the masculine, the freedom (and the responsibility) of embracing the feminine world opened the door to a life that was so much more natural to me than I'd ever experienced before.

    As a man, I always preferred the company of women on a social level. I was seen by them as a sensitive and gentle man. Women would confide in me like they would not to most guys, and I learned so much about myself in the process. I actually had an empathy for women that most men could not ever comprehend. The thing that was so upsetting to me, though, is that I was not so well received by women when I was "just having fun" being one. Yes, I had been looking at life from both sides, but it wasn't until I melded them together - being who I really am - that I have been able to be seen by both women and men as having validity. Now, this validity may not be of a cis woman's, but it is close enough that I get respect for who I am. I can't ask for more than that.