Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Our Sunday edition this week is truly special in that you and I went over 1,000,000 hits here in the Condo.  Yes kids, that's one million!!!

First of all, I would like to thank my Mom for recommending electro shock therapy to me 40 years ago when I came out as a transvestite to her and much of the rest of the world who treated me as a freak during my early days.

Seriously, I would love to thank Connie out in the beautiful Pacific Northwest (Seattle) who first suggested I write a blog when I was sharing several of my many coming out stories on the Pink Essence site. Cyrsti's Condo's first post was May 29,2010 after I learned what a blog even was (I couldn't spell it!). I estimate it took me until 2011 to solidify the name and learn the nuances of tags, etc, which pushed "the Condo" out into the vast internet where others could see it.  All you current bloggers who visit here know, just publishing a blog is the easy part. Getting someone to read it is another.

In 2010 my goals were simple.  Hopefully someone would be able to learn from my trial and error transition which seemed to be mostly error. Also, along the way, I hoped to share more than a few of my off the wall experiences which at the least would be entertaining.  From there, I added transgender news and opinion and finally, pictures and videos'.

So, over 2750 published posts later, I thank all of you for stopping by my little blog. At times it's a labor of love and at others, a full time job with very little pay.  Like so many things in our lives, the true joy here does not come from money even though the ad's you see here do provide me with a minimal stipend I can use.  If you don't know, when and if a person see's an ad of interest and clicks on it, I get a very minimal kickback.

Looking back to 2010, I couldn't have even predicted HRT would be in my future, let alone the amount of freedom I have been able to achieve in my chosen gender.  Perhaps not so ironically, you can read more than a tad of my uncertainty in post #1 "You Make a Better Looking Woman"

You've probably heard the comment. Unless you are like the recent "Tyra Show"guests. I'm referring to the 7 and 8 year old transgendered kids who are living in their preferred gender. You've likely agonized over the duality within you. .When I played defensive end, I wanted to be the cheerleader...you know the story. My experimentation with the opposite gender didn't really start until I was about 12. The magic elixir of seeing a girl in the mirror was powerful. I've often wondered if some chemical endorphin in my brain is the catalyst for the creature I am today. And what about the comments that I made a" better looking woman than man"? (Halloween party gossip) Comments such as those used to destroy me! How could I even consider stopping this shameful "hobby"? Where was my "get out of jail free" card to end this madness? Obviously, I didn't stop.

 In my mind there is nothing more powerful than a beautiful woman so I listened to the comments and obsessed to get better. Better I did become. The world knew me as one gender or the other and for the most part I went out of my way to create two existences. Chance encounters with people who knew the male side of me never produced any recognition. Life was balanced. Until New Years day this year. Symbolically, I started the year and decade as Cyrsti for the first time ever. Checked into the hotel as a girl, went to the clubs with friends and left the next morning in girl clothes. On the way home, I changed into my favorite teams jersey (filled it out a little different!) and stopped and watched the first of the bowl games. On the way home, I was totally into girl mode when impulsively I stopped at my regular grocery store to pick up a couple things. On New Years Day I figured none of the regular cashiers would be working. If they were, they wouldn't know me anyhow. Wrong, wrong and WRONG! Both of the regular cashiers were working. Of course one of them picked me out of the crowd immediately. I knew it and she knew it...she thought. I bought my groceries and took off. I went back the next day to see if I was right. It took her about ten seconds to start asking questions since I was alone in line. She said "I know how you will answer" but "do you have an alter ego" or did I lose a bet. I was naturally evasive as I considered "outing" myself and just said I was at my brothers watching football. I did not out myself to her so she got bored and wrapped it all up with "Who ever it was was very attractive and really looked like you". Nearly three days later I ended up in the other cashier's line. Following a similar Q & A, she just said "if you ever had to go that way, you would have no problems, she was beautiful." Not my ideal way to go fishing for compliments. 

Fortunately, my gender balance wasn't too difficult to restore. Many around me know of my duality and I don't care. I did spend some time considering the old questions about how challenging it is to live life this way. But you know I wouldn't miss another shot of that "magical elixir." Life would be soooo much more boring!

That's the past and I wish I had some wonderful plans I have for the future here in the Condo but I don't.  I'm notoriously short term in my thinking! I have felt for the longest time the platform I use is too small for all the things I try to do here but I am quite comfortable with it.  What scares me the most is the real potential I have to screw a new platform up. So, I'm taking the easy way out for a change. I may have to come up with something different when I get my book done and published in May.

Finally, I can't begin to tell you how humbled, flattered and surprised with all of this and I am not blowing hot air up your collective skirts! (No matter how much you would like it!)

Very simply, all I can ever say is thanks to each and everyone of you!

Cyrsti Hart