Shakina Nayfack

Shakina Nayfact is an American actress and transgender activist. She is most known for her series regular role as Lola, a "trans-truther" on Hulu's television program "Difficult People." She was on the second and third seasons and also worked as a writing consultant. 

Jari Jones

Jari Jones is a Black Trans Actress, Model, Creative & Activist.and the front person  Calvin Klein;s Pride campaign. She also identifies as a plus size, lesbian model.

More Mr. Hart

I received a couple great comments on the "Mr. Hart" post. I you remember, the post basically was about the auto repair man who called me Mr. Hart on the phone and "sir" in person. The first came from Tiffawmy:  " Hello Cyrsti
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience.
Do you think the guy was being vindictive or maybe he just didn't know what to do.
Regardless, you persevered.
Next time give me a call. I still carry a set of jumper cables."

Looking back, I don't think he was being as vindictive as much as he was being tunnel visioned if that makes any sense. What I mean is, he had male in his mind from the beginning and nothing I could do changed it. Then again too, maybe he just didn't want to deal with a woman anyhow. Thanks for the offer for the jumper cables. I too have a set around here, I my age you never know when you are going to need a jump! :)

And then, we heard from Connie: "Being called "sir" to your face definitely stings, and it's difficult to not react in a negative fashion. Usually, though, the hurt makes one too upset to be able to react at all. The clever comeback may come to mind, but it's most likely too late when it does. I'm fortunate in that it has happened to me so rarely, but the last time it did I think I came up with the right response. I said, "Why stand on formality? Call me Connie." It got the point across, and it made me feel less of the sting because I had gained control of the situation. In your case, I'm pretty sure that would have worked better than calling him "Grease Monkey" in return (even if doing so might have brought some temporary satisfaction)."

I like the "name" reply and will have to try to remember it if something similar to this happens again. The truth is, it happens so very rarely, i am not prepared. As far as the car goes, in the future I will have to call the auto club again tn the future. In all fairness to them, I have never had a problem in the past. I have always been treated with respect. 

I have thought this through in depth of course and have come up with an idea my whole reaction to the whole situation may be part of my transgender PTSD which i will go into in a future post. 

Kiley May from Canada

From IMDb:

Kiley May (above) is a Hotinonhsion:ni Mohawk multidisciplinary artist from the Six Nations reserve. She is now living in Toronto. Kiley is an actor, screen writer, educator, public speaker and author of the upcoming book "How to Love a Trans Girl." 

Finally! Someone got it Right

I wondered after the problems I had encountered this week on the phone with people and after I was mis-gendered in person. How my mammogram scheduling call would go. After virus delayed the call for several months, it finally happened yesterday. Most likely, since the vast majority of his calls were women, the male scheduler with the VA didn't have a problem with my gender. During two calls, he properly called me Miss and her. I decided to work harder on my phone voice too, so maybe some of that worked also. After the week I have had, I needed a little affirmation.

Speaking of affirmation, my noggin finally kicked in with the other "Bucket List" idea I had a week or so ago and promptly forgot. As Mandy said, my bucket could be more appropriately described as a spaghetti noodle strainer. I like the idea, because I have next to no chance of ever doing exactly that. 

As I have written before here in Cyrsti's Condo, I am addicted to the Public Broadcasting System's line of cooking shows. One of which is called "Movable Feast" by Fine Cooking Magazine. Every week they close a couple chefs around the country and Europe and prepare what amounts to a feast. Then, approximately ten to twelve quests sit down to eat it. Every week I so much want to be one of the women enjoying the dinner! I wonder what I would wear and how much I would enjoy the food.

As I said, I know this Bucket List item has nearly no chance of happening but I can come a little closer this weekend when I get a chance to wear one of my maxi dresses and join a small group for my grandson's bar mitzfah. 

Where the Hell is Mr. Hart?

As I wrote about before here in Cyrsti's Condo, yesterday our auto repair service came to hook up their battery charger and start our second car which has been sitting for quite a while now. For any number of reasons, the experience wasn't a good one. 

Maybe it was my fault since I did't feel the need to dress up for the occasion. I wore my culottes, a tank top and only basic eye makeup with my lightly colored/flavored lip gloss. Somehow I thought my "natural" look would carry the day. To put it mildly, I was wrong. 

To start with we got off on the wrong foot when he called me and said he was waiting outside and called me "Mister Hart" on the phone. I told him then this was Ms. Hart and I was coming out to meet him. I thought all would be good because I have never had a problem with this company before. 

I don't know what his problem was when called me sir without ever really looking at me. Maybe he didn't want to deal with a woman at all. let alone a transgender woman. After he called me sir, I almost said did he want me to go back in the house and get Mr. Hart? To make a long story short, I ignored his comment and he quickly started the car and went on his way.

By the time the day was over, I had managed to restore my feminine ego without any damage to my fragile gender dysphoria. So all was good. Regardless of the jerk.  

The Speaking Part

This morning during a phone call setting up my yearly mammogram, the receptionist said, so there is no Mrs. Hart? I quickly replied no there isn't but there is a Ms. Hart which seemed to work, As I imagined her looking through my file (which says female) for a gender. Shortly after that call I received another call. This one was from the auto repair company which is coming to check the battery on our old second car. This time the woman on the phone asked if Ms. or Mr. was the proper greeting. Which was nice. From then on she referred to me as Ms. 

Then, later this week is my grandsons's Bar Mitzvah in which I also have a speaking part.  It's very short with all words in English (my only language) so I don't expect many problems with it. 

Years ago, I did go through several feminine voice training lessons which I decided to discontinue when I became frustrated with them. Sometimes I wonder if I was too quick in my judgement but it's too late now. Plus, I think my voice matches me when you see me in person.

Finally, my daughter added what all of them were wearing Saturday which should help Liz and I with what we are going to wear. Since I know everybody in the expected sparsely attended event, all should be easy to do. Voice and all.

An Active Week...for Once

After yesterdays debacle when I couldn't remember the other item I had thought of for my Bucket List post, at least this weeks posts could be a little easier. Mainly, because I actually have things to do. Socially distanced of course. 

Tonight, for the first time ever, I have conflicting Zoom meetings. One is with the Rainbow Alliance group I am a board member of and the other is the cross dressers - transgender support group I have been going to for years. Of course I am choosing the LGBTQ Rainbow Alliance group over the other. I guess in my old age I am opting for the group with the most interesting people. One person in particular in the support group drives me crazy when she talks so low I can barely hear her and when I do, it's normally a rehash of what she went over the meeting before. See? How grouchy I have become in isolation?

Tomorrow will be another semi interesting day as I get a chance to briefly visit with whomever AAA car service sends out to put a new battery in our second car. For what I am paying, I hope it all goes well as it should. 

Plus, sometime this week I have to get out the mask and go to our local store and buy a couple cards for this weekend. Saturday, is Bar Mitzvah day for my youngest grandson. In advance I have to get him a card and also one for my granddaughters birthday. Then I have to get to the bank to withdraw money for gifts. I am far past trying to shop for anything for anyone. I guess on Saturday, I will have a small speaking part to do for the very small gathering. For which I am honored.

To make up for all this activity this week :) I am going to have to pay more attention to my afternoon naps!  

Bucket List

I am spoiled. Over my life, I have accomplished much of what I set out to do. Long ago I was told there was no way I could become a part of the American Forces Radio and Television Service as I was drafted into the Army. Well, I did and was sent to three continents over three years. Destiny was on my side. Destiny was to stay on my side in the years to come with the birth of my cherished daughter. Then, I was able to embark on a twenty five year relationship with a woman I loved deeply and was able to establish myself  in a successful career in a male dominated world. In other words, I accomplished almost everything in my bucket list except the biggest desire of all. I wanted to be a transgender woman, full time. 

As it turned out, destiny was on my side again and I was able to even accomplish the very difficult goal of living a feminine life. All of a sudden my bucket list became full again as I looked for things to do as a transgender woman I had never done before. In other words, today, my bucket list remains very empty. In fact, I can only think of a couple items which are still in my bucket. 

At my age, my list has become very simple. One is my desire (once it becomes safe again) I want to go with Liz to a couple local lesbian bars. Also, one of the good things about having a bucket list at my age is you forget what is in it. For example, I can't think of right now what was the second part of my idea about his post. I will get back to you when I remember.

I guess you say my bucket has quite a few holes in it!