Finally! Someone got it Right

I wondered after the problems I had encountered this week on the phone with people and after I was mis-gendered in person. How my mammogram scheduling call would go. After virus delayed the call for several months, it finally happened yesterday. Most likely, since the vast majority of his calls were women, the male scheduler with the VA didn't have a problem with my gender. During two calls, he properly called me Miss and her. I decided to work harder on my phone voice too, so maybe some of that worked also. After the week I have had, I needed a little affirmation.

Speaking of affirmation, my noggin finally kicked in with the other "Bucket List" idea I had a week or so ago and promptly forgot. As Mandy said, my bucket could be more appropriately described as a spaghetti noodle strainer. I like the idea, because I have next to no chance of ever doing exactly that. 

As I have written before here in Cyrsti's Condo, I am addicted to the Public Broadcasting System's line of cooking shows. One of which is called "Movable Feast" by Fine Cooking Magazine. Every week they close a couple chefs around the country and Europe and prepare what amounts to a feast. Then, approximately ten to twelve quests sit down to eat it. Every week I so much want to be one of the women enjoying the dinner! I wonder what I would wear and how much I would enjoy the food.

As I said, I know this Bucket List item has nearly no chance of happening but I can come a little closer this weekend when I get a chance to wear one of my maxi dresses and join a small group for my grandson's bar mitzfah. 

Where the Hell is Mr. Hart?

As I wrote about before here in Cyrsti's Condo, yesterday our auto repair service came to hook up their battery charger and start our second car which has been sitting for quite a while now. For any number of reasons, the experience wasn't a good one. 

Maybe it was my fault since I did't feel the need to dress up for the occasion. I wore my culottes, a tank top and only basic eye makeup with my lightly colored/flavored lip gloss. Somehow I thought my "natural" look would carry the day. To put it mildly, I was wrong. 

To start with we got off on the wrong foot when he called me and said he was waiting outside and called me "Mister Hart" on the phone. I told him then this was Ms. Hart and I was coming out to meet him. I thought all would be good because I have never had a problem with this company before. 

I don't know what his problem was when called me sir without ever really looking at me. Maybe he didn't want to deal with a woman at all. let alone a transgender woman. After he called me sir, I almost said did he want me to go back in the house and get Mr. Hart? To make a long story short, I ignored his comment and he quickly started the car and went on his way.

By the time the day was over, I had managed to restore my feminine ego without any damage to my fragile gender dysphoria. So all was good. Regardless of the jerk.  

The Speaking Part

This morning during a phone call setting up my yearly mammogram, the receptionist said, so there is no Mrs. Hart? I quickly replied no there isn't but there is a Ms. Hart which seemed to work, As I imagined her looking through my file (which says female) for a gender. Shortly after that call I received another call. This one was from the auto repair company which is coming to check the battery on our old second car. This time the woman on the phone asked if Ms. or Mr. was the proper greeting. Which was nice. From then on she referred to me as Ms. 

Then, later this week is my grandsons's Bar Mitzvah in which I also have a speaking part.  It's very short with all words in English (my only language) so I don't expect many problems with it. 

Years ago, I did go through several feminine voice training lessons which I decided to discontinue when I became frustrated with them. Sometimes I wonder if I was too quick in my judgement but it's too late now. Plus, I think my voice matches me when you see me in person.

Finally, my daughter added what all of them were wearing Saturday which should help Liz and I with what we are going to wear. Since I know everybody in the expected sparsely attended event, all should be easy to do. Voice and all.

An Active Week...for Once

After yesterdays debacle when I couldn't remember the other item I had thought of for my Bucket List post, at least this weeks posts could be a little easier. Mainly, because I actually have things to do. Socially distanced of course. 

Tonight, for the first time ever, I have conflicting Zoom meetings. One is with the Rainbow Alliance group I am a board member of and the other is the cross dressers - transgender support group I have been going to for years. Of course I am choosing the LGBTQ Rainbow Alliance group over the other. I guess in my old age I am opting for the group with the most interesting people. One person in particular in the support group drives me crazy when she talks so low I can barely hear her and when I do, it's normally a rehash of what she went over the meeting before. See? How grouchy I have become in isolation?

Tomorrow will be another semi interesting day as I get a chance to briefly visit with whomever AAA car service sends out to put a new battery in our second car. For what I am paying, I hope it all goes well as it should. 

Plus, sometime this week I have to get out the mask and go to our local store and buy a couple cards for this weekend. Saturday, is Bar Mitzvah day for my youngest grandson. In advance I have to get him a card and also one for my granddaughters birthday. Then I have to get to the bank to withdraw money for gifts. I am far past trying to shop for anything for anyone. I guess on Saturday, I will have a small speaking part to do for the very small gathering. For which I am honored.

To make up for all this activity this week :) I am going to have to pay more attention to my afternoon naps!  

Bucket List

I am spoiled. Over my life, I have accomplished much of what I set out to do. Long ago I was told there was no way I could become a part of the American Forces Radio and Television Service as I was drafted into the Army. Well, I did and was sent to three continents over three years. Destiny was on my side. Destiny was to stay on my side in the years to come with the birth of my cherished daughter. Then, I was able to embark on a twenty five year relationship with a woman I loved deeply and was able to establish myself  in a successful career in a male dominated world. In other words, I accomplished almost everything in my bucket list except the biggest desire of all. I wanted to be a transgender woman, full time. 

As it turned out, destiny was on my side again and I was able to even accomplish the very difficult goal of living a feminine life. All of a sudden my bucket list became full again as I looked for things to do as a transgender woman I had never done before. In other words, today, my bucket list remains very empty. In fact, I can only think of a couple items which are still in my bucket. 

At my age, my list has become very simple. One is my desire (once it becomes safe again) I want to go with Liz to a couple local lesbian bars. Also, one of the good things about having a bucket list at my age is you forget what is in it. For example, I can't think of right now what was the second part of my idea about his post. I will get back to you when I remember.

I guess you say my bucket has quite a few holes in it!

These Days

With all the ultra important happenings going on in the world right now surrounding BLM and Juneteenth, it's increasingly difficult for me to find things to write about. It is just too easy to say I am a privileged white person who grew up in a predominantly rural white school  without even the benefit of history books which conveniently left out most of the black history all together. Tragically, the only racial knowledge I heard came from my Grandma who passed on stories about going to KKK meetings in my hometown in Southern Ohio. Juneteenth, or anything similar had no place in my house. In fact, the only dealings I had with a POC was with one family which went to my small school. This was back in the 50's and early 1960's when things were about to change...somewhat.

Today, I feel guilty when I see all the peaceful demonstrations I can't take part in due to my physical problems walking. I am still too vain to attempt it in a wheelchair.  On the other hand I still have this blog to sound off on my feelings. My fondest hope is the younger generation can be counted on to finally put an end to the systematic racism going on in this country today.

This also extends to the continuing rash of transgender women (mostly of color) being killed. Just recently, a young transgender woman was involved in a robbery and killed here in the Cincinnati, Ohio metro area.  

Any way you look at it, we have a terrific amount of ground to cover in our country when it comes to race relations. In November maybe we can really jump start the process going on now in the streets. 

Finally, a thought about privilege to leave you with:

 

Nip Tuck Returns

The "FX" television network is teaming up with the "Hulu" viewing platform to stream some of their old shows. Included is the "Nip Tuck" show.

If you remember, the show was among the first to feature a transgender woman in a trans role. The transgender woman was/is the beautiful Candis Cayne. (below)

The show aired in 2009. For more, go here.

Pass the Wings Please

Recently, after I passed along the experience between my wife and I when she was approached by a man in a tavern we were in and it was one of the first times I was out with her cross dressed. Connie commented: Better to be a wing-woman for a wife than a competitor. How would she have felt, had the guy decided to sit down next to you and chat you up, instead?  

Since she has passed on, of course I can't ask her and can only speculate but I think she would have reacted  with a mixture of humor and curiosity. Humor because I was so new to any feminine experiences I would have been extremely ill at ease with the experience. Curiosity of course would have followed closely because she would have been closely checking out how I would have handled it. I can only say, it I had handled it smoothly, it would have cost me dearly in our relationship in the near future.  She would have wondered I am sure how I was able to handle it so naturally. It didn't matter because she ended up talking with the guy. 

You Cyrsti's Condo regulars may recall though I had a chance much later in life a couple times to be a wing person for one of my lesbian friends. Even though it was fun and flattering to do, I was never successful. I think deep down inside I knew it would be one of the few times in my life I would able to interact as a wing person for someone else. If by chance you don't know what a wing person does, she (in my case) was asked to approach another person in a bar and tell them my friend was interested in talking to them. 

One way or another, I wasn't successful so I will never really know how the person's I approached truly felt about me. I only know I had come a long way as a transgender woman in the mean time,

Make my wings spicy! 

Victory!

Every so often, there comes a time (or times) when we as a transgender community seem to be taking steps forward. Of course the recent Supreme Court ruling upholding employee protections for trans and gay workers is one of those moments. No matter how brief it is before we face another major ruling, it's good to see one go our way! 

Then, there is the documentary on Netflix called "Disclosure". It is written and produced by leading transgender creatives and thinkers who share heartfelt perspectives and analysis about Hollywood's impact on the trans community. It's directed by transgender filmmaker Sam Feder.

Of course Laverne Cox is involved too.

Lets not forget too the massive black trans lives matter march which recently. This is a view from New York City: Times could be a changing!