Nobody Made Me

I do quite a bit of skimming of my email feeds to try to seek out topics to write posts about. Naturally, sometimes I run into quite a bit of interesting material, then again on days like today, not so much.

The closest I could come was a post I read which referred to being "made" into a transgender person. The post referred to some sort of a deep dark trans force which seized us and made us the way we are. It is still difficult for many people in everyday society to understand we didn't have a choice the way our life has unfolded. Many people still don't know if we continue to live in the gender we were born in either leads to a life of misery as a best case scenario or suicide at it's worst. To be sure we did not "choose" such a life.

Years ago, after one of my all out Halloween "costume" attempts, two of my close cis women friends brought up the party and said "I made a good looking woman." For one of the few times of my life I was speechless.  Finally, I blurted out something like "a lot of good it did me."

What really happened was for a change I had aligned my inner self with how I projected my gender into society and it worked. Looking back on it years later, I wish I had thought of saying I wished I had a power to make someone.

It's also true though, I shouldn't have looked a gift horse in the mouth (or other places of it's anatomy) and just accepted the compliment. In all fairness, I still had decades of growth and learning in a feminine world to be able to know how to conduct myself. So, if I was "made" as a woman. So be it.

Unfortunately, the times I had to try to show my feminine side in public were limited to once a year at Halloween. Plus, when I started to experiment more and more in the feminine world, I was made as a man in a dress.

I do feel these days, the tide is slowly changing (even with the current administration in Washington) and transgender women and men are beginning to be viewed with some sense of normalcy.

Perhaps now people will understand we trans folks were born this way and didn't have a choice. More respect should follow.

Nikey Chawla

From India, this in an excerpt from an interview with transsexual star Nikey Chawla:

"first of all, I would like to educate others that the Trans community is vast. People in Western countries have different definitions of Transgender than people in India.

I have gone through proper medical treatment and support. All my documents have been changed and updated. I am a transsexual, a female soul who was trapped in a wrong body, but with hard work and medical help I got a SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery) done. The Indian Government also supports this under Medical Term.

Nikey Chawla

I turned my weakness into my strength. People who said ‘No’ to me, who denied me work as they found me different and not acceptable by society, are now the ones who give me opportunities, love and respect. When I chose To Be ‘Me’ I got recognition. I believe be yourself with pride and the world will accept you. Yes I have many problems but someone had to take initiative. I took the initiative and became the voice and the face of transgirls openly. Now, I feel proud that in last 10 years a lot of new transgirls and transboys are showcasing their talents proudly and living the life they want. I feel proud."

For more of the interview go to the "We for News" site here.

The Binary Blues?

Recently I received a thought provoking comment concerning binary or non binary transgender women. A subject I don't think we have ever discussed in the long history of the Cyrsti's Condo blog. The question was brought up by Connie:

"I'm not so much confused about  Non-Binary individuals, or the portrayal of them, as I am feeling a little discounted for being a Binary Trans Woman. It's as though the media have highlighted enough of the transgender women , like Lavern Cox - or even Caitlyn Jenner - and now it's on to the trans du jour of non-binary. Just when I was feeling comfortable living my "authentic self," and knowing that there were enough people in the world who

Laverne Cox

had some degree of understanding and acceptance for me, the relatively new concept of "Non-Binary" changes the game. Most people still think along binary lines, and it is much easier, I think, for them to look at me and have some idea, at least, of how I may fit in. Of course, I try to leave as little ambiguity for my gender expression as possible. However, can I  expect that I won't even be mis-gendered, when there are those who are presenting and expressing one gender, while still demanding that they be referenced as another (or neither....or both)?

I don't know if I'm being pushed out of the transgender umbrella or crowded into the middle of it, these days." 

It's probably just me but I think most of the "non binary" emphasis is a more recent phenomenon brought up by the younger segment of the transgender community. It's just an easier way to say we don't fit. 

However, in my travels, I have encountered more and more individuals who didn't fit a gender binary. I find it encouraging the people I have known (even on a limited basis) have had the courage to live a life somewhere outside the lines of the traditional gender binaries. 

As for me, my authentic self is much like Connie's. I live as a binary woman. I do my best to present to the world as one and expect to be treated with respect as one. 

I also think we are not being pushed out from under the transgender umbrella, we just need a bigger umbrella.