Vacay Post Three

This is a Cyrsti's Condo post from 2015. It is a very weak attempt to explain a few of my early changes when I restarted hormone replacement therapy:

"More great news yesterday! My estrogen was found not to be the basis of my liver problems this summer...and I am allowed to resume my dosage ASAP. 

Estrogen is like a snowflake, for the most part  the hormone effects each trans person different. 

Yes there is the breast development-which is tied in with your feminine family genetics and normally never up to the expectations of the person on HRT. (Many cis women aren't satisfied with their breasts, so we are in good company.)

Yes there is the emotional aspect-which I think is the biggest part. You do get "weepy"and experience "hot flashes" -which are different animals unto themselves. As close as I can come explaining one is during my first one, I thought I was internally combusting!

The part of Estrogen effects (so far) I have never been able to explain to anyone (man or woman) is how my world softened internally. Somehow I was more perceptive to the world around me. Cis men don't experience it and cis women are born with it-so they don't understand. That's OK!

Finally, I look forward to a couple exterior changes. My hair will thicken again and my skin will soften-bringing out curves.

Poor Liz (my partner) she gets to live through another MtF gender puberty of sorts. She wasn't around for my first. She was with me as I started HRT the first time and a form of transgender menopause when I stopped. 

And now, here we go again!!! YAY!!!"

Four years later and it's way past time to write an update to this post. I will when I start to go "live" again with my posts next week.

Vacay Post Two

This my my attempt at a humorous look at my early days of DIY hair coloring from 2015:

 "Finally, a couple nights ago, I broke down and colored by hair-basically by myself. I will explain.

"Basically" means I only made a mess with the color base in a couple spots, like the bathroom door and sink. If you have ever worked with hair color, it will stain almost anything and get you (me) hollered at. No pressure? Plus I sort of figured if I screwed up bad enough, Liz would help. I didn't and neither did she.

Lets back track a bit to where I got to this place. Looking back years ago to when I put my wigs aside and began attempting to style my own hair. Very simply, I called this the first time in my life I had to see the back of my head and brush out my hair. A "Pink Floyd" song? "The Dark Side of the Head?" Seriously, being able to experience the thrill of having/wearing my own hair has been worth the hassle. Having said that, if you are a transgender woman of means- you can afford the monthly trip to your hairdresser and is flat out wonderful.

I can't afford the luxury though so I had to enter the DIY hair color biz. From the school of hard hair mistakes-here are a few of mine:

1. Read the instructions...don't be a guy...read the instructions.
2. When those mean old instructions tell you to "PUT ON THE GLOVES"-do it.
3. Save back a couple of old towels you don't care if you color too for your removal process.
4. BE CAREFUL and don't get the color on walls, tile, cat, carpet etc. Get it on your noggin. 
5. Make sure you color your roots completely. Or you will be like me and your gray hair will come back fast and look like a huge bald spot.
6. Don't worry about the color which gets on to your skin around your temples, DO worry about not coloring your temples. (hair)
7. The rest is up to you and the color product you purchased. Mine calls for rinse, two shampoos, and a conditioner. 

So, there you go, but to me totally worth it and I felt positively terrible until I colored my hair. We all learn early as cross dressers or transgender women what hair means to us. Plus with Thanksgiving here, I didn't want to go to the family with the way my hair looked.

I took my abuse for making a mess and feel quite satisfied with the job I did looks. The question is now how long more will I stick with my "Vibrant Violet" hair color."

Fortunately now, I can have a professional help me.

Vacation Post One

I am going to attempt to pull a few relevant posts from the Cyrsti's Condo archives to use while I am on vacation later on this week for approximately ten days.

As I look back through the old posts, I realize how much I have changed in certain areas. This happened several years ago:

"Saturday, I went with Liz and her son to her karate tournament. If I knew what I was going to get into, I would have tried to dress up a bit.

Halfway through, I left to take the son back home and went back. By the time I got back, the middle school gymnasium was nearly full. I needed to walk past a couple full sections of seats (probably 25 rows) to get to where I was setting before.

I felt as if every set of eyes were on me and I had to walk at least two miles to get to my seat, which of course was occupied by the time I got back. More than likely most eyes were not on me and worrying wouldn't have done much about it anyway. So, I hitched up my big girl panties and went for it.

I ended up wedging myself into a row of people that wasn't quite full and tried to make myself as small and inconspicuous as possible.

Looking back on the day, leggings and boots though, probably would have been a better choice than the old baggy jeans I was wearing.

Live and learn the hard LGBT transgender way...as always.

I am sure also, there were several Northern Kentucky folks who got their first glimpse of a real live trans woman and knew it!"

These days, I have so much more confidence in myself. I wouldn't care what they thought!