Female vs Woman

In all the posts recently when we have "skirted" the issue on compliments from all people including cross dressers, transgender women and even cis women.

Along the way, it occurred to me, I had forgotten one of the oldest concepts I used to write about here in Cyrsti's Condo. The fact being born female does not make you a woman. The same as being born male does not make you a man. Both are socialized positions, so to speak.

Class? All Low?

Unfortunately, as trans women and/or cross dressers, some of our most strenuous ridicule comes from females...not women.

I always figure they think they are superior to us because they were born with a vagina. Most likely though, they are a little jealous when we happen to outdo them in the looks department.

It is also one of the reasons we have to make our look appear effortless. Which any woman will tell you takes a lot of work.

I just figured it was important again to make sure we all know the difference between a female and a woman. There is a huge divide.

Party Animal?

All of a sudden, weekends are the place to be for Liz and I. In fact, this Saturday, we had to turn down one event with friends to go to a family birthday party. The family that accepts me totally. One part doesn't. Naturally, the friends do too. I am so fortunate.

As luck would (or wouldn't) have it, Saturday is supposed to return to heat in the mid nineties...the bad news. The good news is, the birthday party is going to be held at another upscale food venue, perfect again for my "maxi-dress." 

No one there will have seen me since I got my hair done, lost a bit of weight or have seen me in the dress in person. So I am looking forward to the get together.

Then on Sunday we have another Witches Ball Meeting to go to. It is not till October but it is now only one hundred days away. So there is planning to do.

I am not sure what I will do when all this social activity begins to subside. I guess, go back to being bored! Except Liz and I have already decided to take a couple days off in August to take another mini-vacation.

You Look Great!

Just what everyone wants to hear, right? Especially after seemingly spending hours finding the perfect dress and then adding the perfect makeup to go with it. Plus, how about the extra ten pounds you have just dieted away to make the "perfect dress" look even better. It turns out though, even compliments seem to be gender directed on occasions.

With a similar take on compliments, let's check in with Connie:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJuly 11, 2018 at 12:55 PM

"How about the fact that trans women are often apt to be comparing their own "feminine look" to other trans women's, and some may be just plain jealous. Of course, there are the cross dressers who post pics of themselves endlessly, and most of them are, at least informally, members of a mutual admiration society. This goes toward your recent post about how some cross dressers think transitioning women to be bitches, so why would they bother to give you a compliment? They would think that a bitchy, HRT-sucking trans woman would not offer them one in return?

When I lived outwardly as a man, I would almost always compliment women on a new hairdo. I found that they appreciated hearing it from a man, even if it was the woman in me who was expressing herself - unbeknownst to them, of course.

I remember that my mother was often fishing for a compliment from me when I was young. I'm sure she did so because my father had died when I was very young, and she just needed to receive that attention at home. It did not seem natural for me, as her son, to be handing out compliments to her freely, so it was awkward when she was making it clear that she was hoping for one. The girl in me was quite willing, and I always took note of her style from that perspective. But, then, I expended a lot of energy trying to cover that up. When my mom was attending an etiquette and modeling school, she would always show me what she had learned in class each week. I was very attentive, but made sure that I didn't show my enthusiasm. Just as I learned makeup skills by pretending to need to talk with her, as I stood in the doorway to her bathroom while she was getting herself ready, I learned early-on how to make myself feminine through my mother. If only I had given her the chance to see what she had taught me; the way I turned out might have been the biggest compliment I could have given to her.

I would add that being gracious in accepting a compliment can be just as important as giving one - and often harder to do. "

Great points as always! Thanks for sharing.