"Whose on First?"

Several posts ago, I wrote here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning the use of labels. Basically I said, labels, like it or not are a part of human nature and probably will be around forever in one form of another. I even dropped pronoun usage (he and she) in the label category.

Per norm (you remember him!), Connie added a valued thought:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEApril 16, 2018 at 3:10 PM

It seems to me that someone who is on facebook bitching about labels is not yet confident enough in her own gender identity to be able to give up the very label she wants to wish away. The truth is that very few of us who have suffered through a male puberty will ever be able to escape the "transgender" label. As you posted before, there's always something (or someone) there to remind me. The best we can do is live as authentically as we can, and try to ignore the labels anyone else may want to tag us with. Worrying about it all the time probably leads to more self-labeling than what others may do or think. An important step - or wall to climb, if you will - in transition is to just get over oneself. When we realize that what others may think of us is really none of our business, we are then free to become who we see ourselves to be. Whether that be a transgender woman or a woman, we each have our own identities, and only we can define our ourselves. Those who would insist upon placing the transgender label on us will continue to do so, but I'd prefer that adjective to "bitchy" or "bitter" - accompanied by the transgender label or not.

I think you'll agree that the most affirming thing is to hear from someone, while knowing you are a transgender woman, that they can't imagine you as anything but the woman you are. If you want to be seen as a woman, all you really have to do is act like one; a gracious and friendly one makes it all the better.

I agree! In fact I can use the two women from dinner Monday night as an example!

Girls Night Out

A small group of friends I have, every month has a dinner get together called a "meet-up."

Monday night, this month's meet-up was at a local Mexican restaurant. Out of seven people who said they were going to come, only three showed up. Including me. The other two were cis women I have known for awhile. To them I am just me and not transgender.

The dinner went along well with everyone sharing small talk about family and spouses. I didn't think much of it until I was on my way home, how nice it was.  Years ago, I considered a "girls night out" to be a rite of passage into a feminine life and now I was taking it for granted.

The picture is actually taken years ago at my first "girls night out." During it, the woman on the far right with the burgundy top never did seem to accept me being there. As I said, I have known the women I ate with for several years, so I did not have any problem with anything like that. Even the waiter was liberal with his use of the "lady" word. I have had problems with that in the past in a few Mexican restaurants.

Time flies when you are having fun!

When the Words Get in the Way

Again I find myself writing about a Facebook post I saw about labels.

The person in particular was again bitching about being called transgender and overall about labels being used at all. Ideally, she is right but then again the human animal needs labels to communicate. When you get right down to it, someone using the "she" pronoun with you is a label.

As far as being called trans at all is a matter of personal preference which I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo many times. If I had my preference, I would like to be called a woman of transgender persuasion. However, all of that seems totally unwieldy.

I also think to be removed from the transgender woman umbrella creates one more void in the world. The more I am visible, the more I do to help create a better world for other trans girls. I guess my large frame is not built to go stealth and disappear.

Plus these days the community of all women needs all the help it can get.

Seeing as how I work with the written word, labels to me will be around for as long as there are humans.