Wednesday, April 18, 2018

"Whose on First?"

Several posts ago, I wrote here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning the use of labels. Basically I said, labels, like it or not are a part of human nature and probably will be around forever in one form of another. I even dropped pronoun usage (he and she) in the label category.

Per norm (you remember him!), Connie added a valued thought:

It seems to me that someone who is on facebook bitching about labels is not yet confident enough in her own gender identity to be able to give up the very label she wants to wish away. The truth is that very few of us who have suffered through a male puberty will ever be able to escape the "transgender" label. As you posted before, there's always something (or someone) there to remind me. The best we can do is live as authentically as we can, and try to ignore the labels anyone else may want to tag us with. Worrying about it all the time probably leads to more self-labeling than what others may do or think. An important step - or wall to climb, if you will - in transition is to just get over oneself. When we realize that what others may think of us is really none of our business, we are then free to become who we see ourselves to be. Whether that be a transgender woman or a woman, we each have our own identities, and only we can define our ourselves. Those who would insist upon placing the transgender label on us will continue to do so, but I'd prefer that adjective to "bitchy" or "bitter" - accompanied by the transgender label or not.

I think you'll agree that the most affirming thing is to hear from someone, while knowing you are a transgender woman, that they can't imagine you as anything but the woman you are. If you want to be seen as a woman, all you really have to do is act like one; a gracious and friendly one makes it all the better.
I agree! In fact I can use the two women from dinner Monday night as an example!


  1. Just to be clear, I never do anything per Norm. I do, however, do things per Norma, as that was my mother's name. I am reminded often by family members how much I resemble her, both in looks and in personality. That used to bother me a bit, but now I just accept it as an affirmation of my destiny to live life as the woman I was born to be.

    Come to think of it, being compared to my mother is a label that has been put on me. I guess some labels are just inescapable.

  2. So true...I took my Mom's name as my legal middle name. Not only do I resemble her now, I got the last laugh in the name game :)