Confidence

 I am always fond of sharing the idea of the importance of a transgender woman's confidence. In fact the argument can be made her confidence is her major accessory

Photo Courtesy Cyrsti Hart 

In all the years of studying how cis women carry themselves there always seemed to be a certain amount of women who just exuded more femininity than others and it had nothing to do with being more sexy.. Although it translated into just that.  

It's no secret either that humans are apex predators and will gather like sharks to any sign of blood in the water. Transgender women and men are often very fragile when traveling in public and the least small set back can cause the proverbial blood in the water. I know in my case confidence was difficult to come by in my early years in the world. Often I would experience a couple days of success and gain confidence in thinking I could navigate a feminine world only to experience a setback. When I did, often I would become depressed and think I never stood a chance to live as my authentic self. Ultimately I continued down my path and became successful. Finally achieving my goal of living full time as a transgender woman.  

Of course too, I was my own worse enemy along the way. Trying to dress like a teenage girl didn't help me at all as you can imagine. But even then I had to learn to accept what I chose to wear and try to make the most of it even though I was leaving the blood in the water by attracting unwanted attention. Finally I found and adopted a style I thought I could live with  and began to blend in successfully with other cis women.

Probably one of my most recent examples of confident transgender women came last week when my partner Liz and I joined two other transgender women for dinner. As we moved about the venue to our seats and when we left no one seemed to give us a second glance. Plus, through out dinner we engaged in what I called trans girl talk concerning acceptance by our families among other topics relating to our lives. 

Unfortunately, confidence is often difficult to achieve and the only way you can gain it is by living as your authentic self. I am true believer these days if you are near an urban area you can find an LGBT group to socialize with. Once you do, your chances to increase your trans confidence will rise and you can keep your blood out of the water.