Sunday, January 3, 2021

Once the Genie is Out of the Bottle

I used to equate the adventures I went through as I began my feminine lifestyle as sliding down a very slippery slope towards a very steep cliff. Later on, I began to think of it as letting the Genie out of the bottle.

A few experiences were very positive and reassuring such as being turned away at the door at a transvestite "mixer" because I was a real woman all the way to being laughed at and scorned in a couple different venues I frequented.  Through it all I had a tendency to resolve I was doing the best I could to cross a very difficult gender frontier. As a guy, I did my very best to cover up any feminine tendencies I had. Needless to say, once the Genie was released, the gender dysphoria was unbearable. 

The picture above is with two of my friends who made my journey smoother. They embraced who I was and never interacted with the old male me. You might say they saw the Genie appear and approved.

Even with their help, life was still difficult. I was still recoiling from the loss of my wife and other close friends. My business was gone too and the only reality I thought I could cling to was the fact I wanted to transform myself to a transgender woman. 

Very quickly I found I could and didn't want to go back.  

All of this occurred before I even met Liz which would have been approximately ten years ago. She too, fully embraced me as a woman and I started HRT. (Hormone Replacement Therapy) By this time, the genie was fully out of the bottle and there would be no turning back.


1 comment:

  1. Just picking up on a single throw away line there, something that I rarely hear is my own experience of gender dysphoria being echoed. Once I understood that I would never be able to conquer "this thing" once I understood that it was not a phase, that I would not grow out of it, once I understood that this is not something I do bit something I am, only once I had understood all that and started to do something about it, it was only then that I truly started to experience dysphoria. As you say it can be crippling, at the time I likened it to a bereavement every time I put the feminine me back in the box ~ a bit like the dummy putting the ventriloquist back in the trunk.