This post goes way back to June of 2010 and demonstrates how early I was into my transition:
"Finally found some extra time for myself during the first summer holiday weekend.
The weather was hot and humid so it was definitely time to pull out the denim mini that assumed a back place in the closet. It screamed my name.
It is worth mentioning the skirt only comes about three or four inches above the knee and I wear jeans most of the time. I rarely wear heels. (boots the exception!!!) Don't don't put me at Wall-Mart in a micro mini and 4"heels PLEASE!
So a close leg shave, a flimsy off the shoulder top, flips and off I went. I must point out, I am not a rookie. I have been out and about for years. But I had a case of the nerves yesterday.
Don't know why. My dress for the day was appropriate for a hot day. Skin in the summer around here is appropriate. Work dictates I can't shave my arms but I can my legs for comfort and fun. So bare legs help me blend in the summer. (I love it)
But for some reason yesterday I was being paranoid about presenting.
My first regular stop was a place I've been frequenting for years. It is a national casual bar/rest chain with several big screens where I can watch my sports. A very relaxing start to the evening. The feel of the bare legs was tremendous. No adverse reaction from anyone. Good.
My second stop was another regular stop for me. Big place, big screens and big mirrors to check my reflection. Always my favorite place. It's dark too! I always look better in that light! lol.
Last night however proved the earlier bout with nerves might have been a correct premonition.
The bar was fairly empty so a "muscle builder" type guy with big arm tats had a clear sight pattern of my skirt and legs. Over the space of an hour, he put it to good use. I received a lot of visual attention.
I own what I wear, if I didn't want someone to look at my legs...I would have worn jeans. So I don't know why the nerves. My "spidey" senses were up and I was ready for the approach but fortunately he belonged to the bartender and kissed her on the way out. Over reaction ruled again.
What did we learn? Calm down! "Me thinks" I will wear the skirt again for a couple of the guys I do interact with!"
I would have labeled myself more of a cross dresser than transgender in those days.
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And this is what you said to me in an email back then: "So she buys some food and some extra beer and proceeds to talk me into coming up to their place. After we both went to pee by invite. Love it.
Well of course, I couldn't turn that down and off we went. And of course the apartment was 3 floors up (no elevator) and me in 3" wedges and the skirt.
I think I was able to maintain some control over the situation and didn't embarrass myself too bad. (Or they were too drunk to know!)
It was karma! I wore the skirt by request from "Mr.E" that's what I get!"
I won't reveal who "Mr.E" was.;-)
That was all a rumor lol! :)
With the thought that I may write a book one day, I began archiving all the correspondence I've had with my "most interesting" trans friends many years ago. I would never reveal personal information without permission, of course, but those things said back then are so revealing in regard to our states of mind.
For what it's worth, I knew that you were not a typical cross dresser in those days, as you were trying, desperately, to fit your feminine self into your everyday life. You once told me that you were comfortable going back and forth, but I could sense that it was not true. I guess you just had to sow those last wild oats before you admitted that to yourself?
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