Saturday, September 22, 2012

Have a Blessed Day!

Recently I had the opportunity to listen and talk to one of those infamous phone information systems designed to decrease employment and dehumanize the world. You know-outsourcing humanity to a machine. What's better? A rude human or an unfeeling machine?
The machine I encountered was at least an an upscale one with options one through 1000. Fifteen options and five minutes into the call I tentively made my selection. Perhaps I would reach nirvana and reach that stern person who was probably still listing options such as "if you wish to reach the Sunday night cleaning crew push #905." I'm certain the feeling would be similar to winning that imaginary lottery I think about all the time.
Needlessly, I shouldn't have risked all that emotion because once again I heard the not so dulcet tones of yet another recorded voice. This voice directed me to give my life's history in 30 seconds. Perhaps I discovered the true home of "Big Brother". Surely all my name, rank and serial number information would be forwarded to a top secret spy service designed to track me down in a future roundup.
It was too late to turn back. If indeed I wanted to avail myself of "Oz", I had to survive this storm trooper whose job it was to screen the mortals who may want to seek his services. I had to respect how concise the voice was. She brought back fond memories of Army basic training drill sergeants as she said: "Don't call me, I will call you in maybe two business days. If you do call, remember I only work 8 to 3 with a lunch break between 11 and noon."
Giving credit where credit is due though, she did finish with a flourish: "Have a Blessed Day!"
Really? She should know I already did. I survived the phone torture!

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