And the Frog Said?

Yesterday was my third voice lesson and the first since still battling a throat cold.

Fortunately, I was able to battle my way through and get another good session out of the way. In fact now, I have a sheet of whole sentences to practice on. So, in three sessions, I have gone from making sounds to trying full sentences. Now, it gets tougher.

For example, I encountered the receptionist who called me "Mr. Hart" the day before, when she called to remind me of the appointment. With my speech therapist listening I told her "There is no Mr. Hart." I immediately then wondered if I had said it correctly with the proper intonation. At that point, I just wanted to get my point across and didn't much care.

However, I want to be perceived as more as just a good mimic and actually am learning. I think I am and the last dinner Liz and and I went to was a turning point. It was the first time in my life I actually felt my voice was beginning to sync up with the rest of me. Even though, I still have a problem using the phone. Because I still need to call Connie and check in.

Today may have been a good day since here in Cincinnati it was our turn it seems to have a active shooter situation downtown which resulted in approximately three dead. Obviously, I am OK and wasn't even close to the situation.

Selfishly, the problem I am having with developing a new voice, is learning how to use it in any situation. It is very much like a new toy.

Saturday Night Lights

Well, our Saturday night turned out to be a very pleasurable evening.

I wore what I wrote about wearing and was very comfortable doing it. I went with my long black embroidered skirt and cream fringed black tank top.

What has become fun now is the managers and some of the crew are beginning to recognize Liz and I as regulars and are reaching out to say hello. It doesn't mean they don't know I am transgender, it only means I have crossed into the "so what" mode. Plus I didn't notice any of the other patrons paying me any undue attention.  I still am waiting for the day when someone comes up to me and asks if I am trans because they know someone who is. It has happened to me from friends/acquaintances but never a stranger...yet.

Then again, very few of us can "pass" totally and I thought I would "boost" this post with a comment from Connie:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEESeptember 3, 2018 at 6:53 PM

"I have to believe that very few of us can be completely invisible. What we can do is live in such a way that our transgender status is inconsequential. That is, we can define a new normal for ourselves, find a peace with it, and just go on with our lives. Although I'm quite certain that I will never go through a day without some sort of reminder that I am trans, I don't worry anymore about what that might mean to me, and I don't very often care what others might be thinking of me. Whatever being trans really means to me, I restrict those thoughts to the reading and commenting on trans blogs. I do feel that I have gone through quite a lot to get where I am now, and sharing with others - trans or not - those experiences and feelings may be of some help to them, just as it tends to be therapeutic for me. Otherwise, the rest of my life is not centered around my trans status, and I believe that most people sense that about me.

I hid myself for most of my life. I didn't start this transition journey with the thought of ending up invisible again. Yeah, I'm a trans woman - SO WHAT?! I'm so much more than just that."

Great points! Thanks

I am Transgender

Bye now, you should be thinking, well...Duh! But there is a reason to the madness of this post. The reason is:

I started playing with book ideas (finally) yesterday.

One of the happenings out of the past was just owning up to the fact I was?am transgender. The sentence went something like this: I am transgender...there I said it.

Before you judge, please remember all of this could change a number of times as I work my way through another "epic" non fiction work. This time, I am trying to structure the whole process to actually get it published in paper form. Not just in "E-Book" form like my last attempt which has just disappeared, along with the original publisher who shut down.

So, I am trying to make it more basic and informational than my first effort.

I need to focus on the fact this whole process  wasn't a choice and took a long decision process. I'm still amazed I can remember the night I came to the conclusion I was trans is still so clear to me, it seems like yesterday. 

At that point I backed track a bit an explained what being transgender means to me.  More precisely, trans to me means exactly what it says...crossing genders.

I also want to point out early in the book the idea transgender people live in the world often invisible to the public. And do I very good job of it.

All of this now is such a daunting task as I get started and (as I said) much of it will change numerous times as I work my way through it.

Then again, you have to start somewhere,