Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Do I "Pass?"

 You have all seen my pictures and I am sure more than a couple of you have thought Cyrsti has a lot of courage to go out and live a feminine life looking like that. In fact, years ago, a transgender girlfriend of mine told me I passed out of sheer force. 

Along the way though I think I have taken most of the negatives and turned them into positives when it came to living the life I wanted to. In other words, a life as a woman of transgender experience. 

To accomplish my goal. I had to heavily rely on hormone replacement therapy. Relatively quickly my skin softened, I sprouted breasts and my emotions changed for the better. The world softened as my hair grew out faster than my hips and breasts. It all worked together to help my inner feminine self to sync with my outer appearance.

Plus, I can't forget the powerful influences my partner Liz and daughter Andrea had on me. My daughter gave me a gift certificate to her hair salon/spa for my first hair styling which was terrifying yet exciting while Liz completely backed my Mtf transition saying she had never seen any male in me. 

Approximately the same time I was fortunate to find several cis women who happened to accept the authentic me. It all worked together to give me confidence to "pass" as me. All of a sudden, I didn't care what others thought. I embraced my life and began to enjoy it. After all there weren't that many "out" transgender women. 

As always, I have found another thought on the whole "passing process." It comes from Rachell Brindell  and the "Empowered Trans Woman" site:

"By being visibly transgender and not hiding behind the ridiculous gender norms that have been pushed on us for decades I feel I can contribute more to both the LGBTQ community and the cis-normative community as well. After all, if we all passed, who would see us?"

For more follow the link above.


  1. I love your self-description of yourself: "a woman of transgender experience." I use that a lot for myself too.

    As for "passing": I know it's the common lingo and although I've tried I haven't come up with an alternative. The thing is, I don't care for that word because it implies that I'm like a secret agent, passing within society for something I am not. I thus worry that it could reinforce unsupportive cis people's ignorance. Anyway...

    I also like Rachell Brindell's quote. I've wondered that myself, for me, but especially for trans children who are increasingly being raised with pubertal hormone treatment that supports their authentic gender.So, they won't be identified as trans until and unless they disclose. I suppose there will always be post-pubertal transitioners so we won't disappear per se.

    Then again, it seems to me that gay people are not nearly as identifiable as they were in the 70s and 80s when they needed to establish pride, self-esteem, and community identification.

    The worst situation IMHO is for non-binary (NB) people. My therapist is AFAB NB. Visibly feminine, they are consistently triggered by well-meaning people using the wrong pronouns and gender for them. And there's nothing they can do. Should they where a sign? I certainly don't think so as it brings the Nazi treatment of Jews to mind.

    Anyway, being identified as a woman without qualifying adjectives is delightful isn't it!

  2. Gee, the way you started this post, I thought you were referring to a Hail Mary Pass. ;-) Self-deprecation does not become you, sweety.

    If one looks at passing as a last-ditch effort or a win/lose proposition, it rarely works out favorably. Desperation is more telling than one's actual physical presentation. In continuing the football metaphor, I am a Seahawk fan who has learned that attempting to force a pass (as in a certain now-infamous Superbowl play) can lead to disaster. :-)