More Cross Dressers?

Our Cyrsti's Condo comment today comes from Paula Goodwin  and concerns two recent posts including "Psst, There are Cross dressers Here":

"I refer you to my comment on Sunday's post! Of course we were all cross dressers at some point, and they are very definitely amongst us ~ I suspect many more than we suspect, they should be welcomed into the "Trans Community" if there is such a thing, as in many ways they are the pinnacle of divergent gender expression!

In some ways I rather miss my days as a cross dresser, the excitement of going out, the glee of preparation, even the fear of being "found out" added extra spice to my outings. On the other hand I do now feel comfortable with myself."
As do I! Thanks Paula.
Yesterday marked another trip to my Veterans Administration Hospital therapist in Dayton, Ohio. I wore my new green sweater, black leggings and knee hi boots. Even the hospital  was decked out very festively for the holidays, complete with a touring group of carolers. Personally, my trip was very uneventful as no one mis-gendered me except for one guy in a wheel chair who wouldn't stop staring but never spoke.  He made me feel very unsettled. I thought I looked very nice, but I can't vouch for him!
Going back to Paula's comment, I too sometimes miss the sheer (no pun intended) excitement of cross dressing all the way up and going shopping, or whatever. On the other hand, I have gained the pride that any cis-woman has when she dresses nice and does a good job at it.  Yesterday was a great example of being comfortable in my transgender skin...and beyond.

Comments

Connie said…
I have to say that I do not look back on cross dressing with any fondness. Sure, I felt terrific when I got all dolled up, but there was always an underlying feeling of guilt and shame associated with it. At first, I felt guilt and shame for doing something I could only understand as deviant behavior. However, the worst part of it was the deceit in trying to keep it a secret from loved ones and friends. Once I understood that I didn't need to cross dress in order to express my femininity, I began "fessing up" to myself and others. I asked for their forgiveness - not for my being trans, but for the lengths I would go to hide it from them. Coming out is one thing; coming clean is another.

My everyday wardrobe now - jeans, hoodie, and sneakers - is no different than what I used to wear in my male life. When I do have reason to dress up now, instead of a coat and tie, it's a dress and heels. The emotional and mental difference is like night and day, and the physical discomfort that may come with wearing foundation garments and heels is the only price I pay these days. I'm so lucky to feel pretty and not feel guilt. Freeing myself of the guilt, by the way, makes me all the more pretty!