Transgender Morphing

I found this interesting video to pass along on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen which features a series of MtF transgender before and afters.  This one is a little different in that the gender images are "morphed" from male to female. Take a look:

"Pass" the Makeup Please

If you are not familiar with a site called The Transadvocate,  you should be. They are a top shelf spot featuring transgender issues, features, and discussions. As you may remember, I have mentioned their work several times here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Recently Transadvocate ran a post by Dana Taylor called "On "Passing" As A Woman." She begins by writing:

"Right up front I will tell you that I cringe when I hear passing as a woman in relation to a trans woman. What this really means is passing as a cisgender woman. A real woman, right?"

And a bit later adds:

"They want all women to meet certain stereotypical criteria which includes how you look, smell, walk, talk, etc. We should never tell our sisters that they must meet this criteria to be a woman. Even though you may think you are trying to help this person you may actually be causing damage to them. For instance, there are some trans women who have physical male characteristics that will never allow them to meet the passing criteria. I am one of those women. If I had listened to a lot of advice from trans women on being a woman, I am not sure where I would be today. It is difficult enough to come out and try to be who you are than to have all these other requirements put on you. This can cause some trans women who are not out yet to never come out thinking there is no way they could pass."

I so agree!   I get all sorts of  messages which begin with  saying "I will never pass", I immediately consider one of three things:

1.- If you use the "never" term, you are a success! It will "never" happen.
2.- You are not willing to go through the years of trial and mostly error I have endured with my "linebacker" body to enjoy bits of success. (Did you think I was born with all this "natural beauty?) Kidding!
3.- Most importantly, what are you trying to pass as?

As Dana said above you may fit into a category where indeed you will never "pass" as a genetic woman but is there a problem with "passing" as an attractive transgender woman?

Check out this message I received from a reader the other day:  He said he was afraid to go out and he would need to look exactly like a woman before he did. I told him "good luck with that"! Sure, there are rare guys like the kid on the left who indeed may "pass" in the strictest sense or the British chopper crewman above. The rest of us know our path is beyond tough and has no guarantee of success.

Then, there is the classic example of Stana of Femulate fame. The picture to the right is what she was wearing the day we met for coffee last summer. She is unapologetic about being very tall and in tall heels. I have had comm enters say they are too tall to pass. Obviously Stana doesn't feel that way and she proved it to me as I was able to look over her shoulder at all those men getting lost in all those legs.

The common thread here goes back to what Dana pointed out.
"A woman is a woman who makes her own choices on how she wants to look, dress, smell or anything else that has to do with her own body. If she wants to follow the stereotypical concept of being a woman, she should be free to do so."

She went on to add and I paraphrase, society needs to get the hell over how we want to live and leave us alone - and you know what? We have contributors here in the Condo who are living examples of how society does adjust to us for a change. Pat, Tracy and myself of course.

Let me repeat though "If you tell me you will never "pass", I will certainly take you at face value."

***Go here for the entire Transadvocate post.

Top Ten Rest Room 101...Again

I update this post every now and then here in Cyrsti's Condo because the simple act of finding a place to pee is so difficult for transgender and transsexual women and men.

My quick list. (Your's could be different)

1.- NEVER take your rest room pass for granted. As you read in the news all the time, many peeps will accept you in all public places but the rest room.
2.- DO go for the point of least resistance. For example one of the big box store chains around me actually has their rest rooms in the vestibule before you go in the store.
3.- GET IN and OUT. The longer you play with your hair and make up in the mirror, the greater the chance another woman will take a closer look at you too.
4.-DO wash your hands.  If you are being scrutinized, if you don't wash your hands, you will be more certain to be labeled a guy. The more experience you have, the more you will find the myth of a pristine women's room is just that.
5.- DON'T BE STUPID.    Sit Down to Pee! It's not as dumb as it sounds. Years ago I actually had a woman follow me into a restroom to see if I sat down or not. Be smart though and look down on what you are going to sit on.  Lots of women are found of the Tyra Banks "squat over the toilet to pee" method but not so fond of cleaning up afterward.
6.-MAKE SURE your stall is locked. If you happen to be stuck in one that won't try to hold your hand on it while you go. While we are on the subject of locked stalls, don't hide in one until the room empties of waiting women who have to go.  You will be roundly disliked.
7.-BE PREPARED to wait. Ideally you can monitor a rest room in a place like a restaurant for an idea of traffic but the women's room is tricky. You don't have the neat quick gadgets like urinals for quick turnaround and a woman with a kid or two can really slow the room down. Plus meeting those kids is also tricky. Don't panic though, lots of time Mom is so engrossed with getting the "little darlings" in and out, you are the least of her problems.
8.-PROPS.  If you are stuck in line, have your cell phone ready to "occupy" yourself. Another trick is to carry a pad or tampon. Over the years I have been asked twice. Could be innocent or a simple way to ask do you really need one?
9.-MAKE EYE CONTACT.  It's tough but the restroom is the place to project the fact you are doing nothing wrong. Another hint to pass along is, another woman may smile at you just because she can woman to woman. This is not the macho men's room. Finally, you can also learn volumes about how your presentation is working...good...bad...or ugly by making eye contact. Acceptance, approval, no reaction and real ugly are possibilities.
10.-KNOW WHEN TO RUN.  If the situation gets bad. (I've had the cops called on me a couple times over the years and other UGLY incidents) Just move on as quickly and with as much dignity as you can... Unless you know your local laws protect you and want to make a stand.

Of course there are many more nuances of effectively securing and maintaining your women's room pass-all the way to how you sit on the toilet to mimic a woman's flow. Rest assured, if a woman has her doubts about you and you both got a stall at the same time, she will be listening. Especially if the room was empty and she more or less followed you in just to see what was going on. Turn the tables and listen to see what she is doing. If nothing, be on high alert.

More than anything else we do and learn during the transgender transition process, rest room passes are the most intense. Just be a good student, do your best and you will be fine!

FYI...the places I have felt the most resistance to using the women's room?  Mixed gay and lesbian venues!