Wiggy?

Of course, the best way to ruin the wonderful outfit and make-up look you have carefully crafted, is by having a less than attractive wig.  Back in my wig days, I am sure I tried all the wrong wigs before I settled on a couple I wore quite a bit. The one I wore most was a long straight blond wig, which I actually have a couple pictures of to pass along.  (Circa early 2000's))

I am far from the expert to ask but I know I always washed my wigs in baby shampoo and was careful to make sure the caps were dry and they were properly brushed out before I wore them again.

Another friend who knows much more about wigs than I wrote in to pass along her ideas:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEMay 16, 2018 at 1:17 PM

I might add that, as far as wigs are concerned, a good, moderately-priced wig will last just as long as an expensive one if it is properly maintained. All synthetic wigs will wear out and start to frizz at the tips after some time. Just as the fibers in clothing break down, wig fibers will, too. Imagine how long a T shirt might last, if worn every day (I hope you'd have to only imagine that). A cheap one from Old Navy might not hold up well to the everyday wear and the washings it would require. A good shirt will fair much better, but not any better than a designer T shirt.

I have a wig on my head about twenty hours of every day. I usually wear a worn-out one to sleep in, as I am too vain to be seen with my naturally bald head. I am fairly active during the day, so I literally glue my wig to my bald head. I started doing that after an incident where a low tree branch grabbed the hair off my head while I was getting out of the car in front of a busy Starbucks. The glue residue takes about a week off of the life expectancy of my wigs, but it's a small price to pay for the security. Normally, a wig will last six weeks for me before it starts to frizz and lose it's soft texture. Of course, I would recommend having two of the same style, and to rotate them between washings. When I can afford to do so, I keep a third wig to wear for special occasions, and then put it into the daily rotation after about 10 wearings. I usually wash mine every 5-7 days of wear. Putting product into a wig will make it dirty faster, and perspiration is a texture killer.

The wig style I am wearing these days is $60.00 when on sale. Ten dollars a week is a bargain when compared to keeping ones real hair colored, cut and styled. I'd gladly pay more to have my own real hair, but it was not my fate (damn testosterone poisoning).

BTW, use Woolite to wash your wigs. It's much cheaper than wig shampoo.

Thanks Connie and if anyone else would like to share their wig story, please make sure you send it in!

I might mention I finally found the salon location of the woman I want to cut my hair and she donates twenty percent back to a prominent transgender organization here in Cincinnati.  Now I have to get up the courage to go and do it. Back in my wig days, I also lost my wig to one of those pesky tree branches. Didn't do much for my confidence!

Historical Blond

Ironically I ran across two pictures in one day which illustrated my "blond days."

The first is a picture of a person in a wig very reminiscent of one of my first "real wigs."  For some reason, one of the beauty parlors I used to walk by all the time had a wig in the window (between all the ultra short conservative wigs) which looked just like the one on the left.

I was in love but could not figure how I could ever build up the courage or the funds to buy it.  Through a complex series of happenings finally I was able to convince my then fiance to buy it and then I "appropriated" it.  All of this process occurred in the early 1970's when I was still in college and looking dead ahead at being drafted into the Army.

I called the process years later a common one for a vast majority of cross dressers I knew.  Wasn't being the blond "bombshell" everyone's ideal?  Can't speak for "everyone", but it was mine. I ended up keeping the wig much longer than my fiance who dived on me when I went into the military.  (True Love?)

Years later, in the picture you see to the right was blond wig I literally wore out as I was solidifying myself as a feminine person. (Before, I would spend a week as a blond, the next as a redhead, etc.)

Ironically, deep down, I knew that my hair color (blond or not) should be tied in to my complexion not fantasy. Especially, if I was to be successful in my quest to live in a feminine world.

Now of course, since I have "inherited" all of my real hair, I'm able to play in the "real hair" world of women.  Essentially, dark hair in the winter and lighter in the summer. Through the miracle of hair colors I'm able to go back to my roots (and color them). My natural air color before the gray sat in was nearly black but I have a heritage of red heads from my Mom's side of the family.

Somewhere admist all of that though the old blond love affair still exists.

Pandora's Box

 I have wondered forever,  what role does an attractive cross dresser's feminine presentation play in possibly later moving her into a transgender existence? Is it similar to the worn out idea that a majority of heroin users got hooked because of marijuana? Did my first experiments with Mom's hose and underwear get me hooked, or was I just predestined to be who I am today? I believe the answer was a little of both. What caused me to open that Pandora's Box of goodies? By the way, this definition of "the box" comes from Wikipedia:  

The phrase "to open Pandora's box" means to perform an action that may seem small or innocent, but that turns out to have severe and far-reaching consequences. Certainly, the definition is correct. Little did I know how severe the gender torment I would feel during my lifetime and it's far reaching consequences. But what made me open the box?  My brother didn't and for all I know the greatest majority of male type kids in my school and town didn't. The simple answer is some sort of switch already existed in my noggin and I flipped it to "on".

Even more interesting is the number of "switches" we have ready to be turned on or off.  Why was it for me, the occasions I was told I made a better looking girl, was mistaken for one, or was made over to look like one, I felt worse about being a cross dresser a few days later. I believe now,  cross dressing never seemed to come close to explaining my first gender switch. . Hell, I didn't have a  "switch", I had a 50 amp circuit breaker!

I flipped the breaker and got a better look into Pandora's Box. I saw all the glittering bling of new wigs, dresses and heels. They were sooooo inviting but sooooo non fulfilling.  Finally, after years of torment, I ignored the bling and went for substance and found a book called the My Little Book of Trans.  I grabbed it and found there was even an instruction guide, which of course I didn't read first. Who needs "no stinkin instructions?"

As I blissfully thumbed through the book's  pages from back to front (I'm dyslexic) I learned my obvious gender disconnect wasn't so obvious to me. I had to read backward to  Chapter One in the "Book of Trans", to make some sense of my life as a trans woman.  A cross dresser looks like a woman, a transgender woman socializes herself as a woman and a transsexual acquires the sexual genetalia of a woman.  In addition, none of them ever become females and being a genetic female does not guarantee you're a woman.

Of course I spent 50 years fighting the crossdressing in me, five accepting the transgender spirit of my soul and no years obsessing on purchasing a store bought vagina. 

At this point in my life, I have to blame my slow learning on someone, so  I'm blaming it on Pandora!  I've been known to be nothing if not persistent.  Seems as if I kept bugging our girl with the box just long enough, she got up off the "good stuff" and threw the book at me!

By the way, "My Little Book of Trans" exists only in my fertile "itty bitty" mind.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Snuggle in and welcome to yet another earth shattering "Sunday Edition" here in 'the Condo."

Week in Review.- During the week, we featured several impossibly beautiful androgynous male models (who I want to hate!) Just kidding! On the opposite side of the spectrum we tried to cross Chris Christie's bridge and have an easier path (at least in New Jersey) to having our transgender birth certificates changed without expensive and painful SRS. As it turned out the rotund New Jersey governor blocked both.  Of course I watch any moves in this direction because I am facing many legal moves as my MtF transition progresses.  Christie gave some gobbledygook reason which sounded suspiciously similar to the danger of transgender women and men invading restrooms of their choice and committing ghastly acts. I considered the source, got mad and moved on.

Book Review.- It's fairly rare when I miss any sort of writing which involves itself with transgender women and men.  Not only did I miss this one, it turns out the trans woman and her spouse actually live within an easy traveling distance of me!  I featured Bobbie in a post aka Alana about her past and future writings and got this response:

WOW ... thanks so very much for sharing information about my memoir. Our target release date is Feb 14, 2014. I thought that would be the perfect date for releasing a love story. We're in line for meeting that date. IF anyone wants a signed copy from the first printing it can be ordered from www.hunginthemiddle.com. Let us know the next time you're in our area ... would love to meet in person. Bobbie Thompson aka Alana's Spouse (on FB and Twitter)

As I mentioned, the "road trip" mileage is definitely within reach as soon as the "polar weather" gets out of here for awhile!

We Got Mail Section.-  From Vicky, responding to our Hormone and the Hair Post:  I agree with you Cyrsti my hair I am just starting to grow out with the help of Rogaine then I am going to style it I hope it will not be to long until I can do it then no more wigs.  Thanks Vicki!  As I said, if and when you can ever be able to wear your own hair, it's a blessing.  Especially at my age!

From dloring on Christie's veto:

"You said it girl, no reason to veto that bill. The only fraud being perpetrated is by the Governor."

That's about it for this week's Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition.  You are the best for stopping by and checking in when you can!  Thanks so much!

Cyrsti

"Pat's Resolution"

As you regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo know, Pat is a regular contributor in our "comments" sections and should have a 2014 resolution to start her own blog.  She addresses a particular niche in our community of a person who navigates somewhere in between a cross dresser and the bottom transgender threshold.  If indeed she took off to her own blog, I indeed would miss her comments for two reasons:

The first is she makes sense, the second is I need her material on days I can't think of anything to write about.  Yes, that does happen!

Here are examples.  Sometime ago Pat pointed out : One of the benefits of being a CD or even a TG is the ability to change sizes, shapes, etc. I am essentially a CD so I find I can pick from several different bras of varying construction and dimension and then pick what to use to fill them with. I have a large set of silicon breasts as well as a smaller rounder set. I have a few sets of foam inserts, some chicken cutlets and a few home made forms. I also like the ability to pick a wig and change my look in that fashion.

So true!  On occasion before I became a transgender "citizen" I remember the good old days when I could pick from several wigs and looks!  I lived in my mirror (which lied to me continually)  before I went out the door. Being told what I wanted to hear was wonderful,  until I got laughed at in the first store I went to. Dammit! I wasn't the sexy woman the mirror told me I was?

As Cyrsti took on a life of her own, people I knew picked up on the image of who I was on a day to day basis.  Also the more full time I became, like any genetic woman, the time and effort to put my best foot forward to the world just had to be streamlined. You have seen my last picture, the no photo shopped, the no glamour boutique photo. It was just me, not giving Jennifer Aniston a run for her money! I catch myself muttering the same thing a few of the women I have been close to during my life said "well, it doesn't get any better than this, let's go."

Which brings us back to the idea of "Drag and the Transgender Woman". Many times I have written how much fun it was to do drag again at a gay venue in the past and I have an idea to take that a step further in 2014!

WiggingOut

Approximately a year and a half ago, I was able to take the HUGE step of leaving my wigs behind and going public with my own hair.

To this day I believe be able to do just that was one of the biggest positives I could ever do to improve my overall presentation as a woman - which doesn't explain a random thought which invaded my noggin this morning.

All of the sudden I felt a huge wave of wig nostalgia. I can only guess at the reasons plus I know genetic women wear wigs too of course.

I quickly considered the chilly temps and the fact wigs were extremely uncomfortable for me to wear on a hot summer day or maybe I just wanted to change up my look for a bit. Another "perk" of being a woman.

I really doubt if I will wig out and pull out my giant plastic tub of my old wigs and wear them in public. I may however have a fun mirror game someday.

If you are curious at all, here in Cyrsti's Condo I do have a "Timeline Picture Page" which describes my trips through different colors and styles of wigs in the past.

Perhaps the most accepted wig by the public was this one I wore in the picture on the right. This was taken about 3 months before I went "wigless".  My top fun story (of several) with this wig was when I was at a drag show and one of the drag queens came up to me and said, "I love your wig".  I simply said,"How do you know it is one?"

The problem with this wig was I had an incredible tough time with the hair line, which may have been partially due to me taking scissors to it over the years.  It started life being incredibly thick and I thinned it over the years to make it cooler and more passable.  It was this wig which was along for the ride in my first days of being able to go sleeveless and the sensations on my bare back were nothing less than heavenly!

These days, my own hair is probably about three fourths as long as this one and has much more wave to it.

Certainly soon I will have to have some fun and play "dress up" in my own room.

My Mirror and Pastries

Of course over the years from a closeted cross dresser into the transgender life I lead now, I have fought epic battles with my mirror. But I'm not alone, I see genetic women who have fought and lost the same game daily.

It's a tough battle. Both Genders pay attention to us. It's the age old question of "do women dress for women - or men?" Easy answer, women overwhelmingly dress for ourselves. Sure I want to look nice for guys too but if I'm not getting a passing grade from the women in the crowd, I need to keep trying until I do.

None of this was an easy process to work my way through.

First of all my mirror is a Stone Cold Bitch. By law she deals in one dimension (hers) which just happens to be a much different one than the public. My first conversation of the day is "Bring it Bitch!" But we both know I need her as a tool to help me. As long as she stays away from that dishonest feedback deal. I have finally come to the conclusion I don't look as good as she says I do but not as bad as I think I do.

Second, I was stuck right in the middle of several dominant forces.  I was a guy attempting to appear as a woman in public but I was going about it in all the wrong ways.

I was dressing for men from my perspective of what a man wanted to see. Cool, except I was leaving out a huge majority of the population who could make my journey easier-women. If I was going over the top with the such forgettable "Rodeo Clown Drag Queen" look, then I was missing everyone.

And finally, I knew very few  of the "tricks" of the style game such as fashion, sizes and shopping.

As the years passed painfully by, even I began to realize the path I was taking was going all wrong and I was lost. Of course life is better now as I became honest with myself.  Even the mirror and I get along now. No matter what she says I know my limitations and similar to any woman I try to do the best to work around them. In fact, just last night she was whispering sweet nothings into my ear as I finished dressing, brushing my hair and touching up my makeup. Finally I was ready to head out to a mainly straight bar/restaurant last night hosting the fabulous Rubi Girls.  I knew I was far from the sexy "thang" she said I was but I did feel  I wasn't over or under dressed for the night which is exactly what I tried to do.

Of course all of this progression has been something I have tried to over think for years. Actually, I came to a fairly simple conclusion.  As I do with many things in my life, again I was trying to shortcut the femininity process in me. For years I thought simply the best clothes, wigs and makeup could take me where I wanted to go.  As it turned out the process was similar to eating your favorite donut. Tastes great eating it but the sugar buzz and empty calories don't last long.

If you are a novice in our world as a cross dresser or a transgender person, just take a second and look around.  There is nothing wrong with eating a tasty pastry but if you are losing your buzz in a big hurry-it may be time to look in your mirror and think about a new diet.

The Trans and the Hair

With all due respect to the old nursery rhyme and Aesop, hair is a basic focus to all transgender or cross dressing critters such as us.
I think back to the ancient days of anguish over my dictated crew cut hair cut. Like many I tried scarves and even horded my paper route money to buy a cherished cheap Halloween costume wig. I dreamed of the day I could own my own luxurious hair.

Time went by and eventually I was able to purchase my own cross dressers dream- a beautiful long blond wig when I was in college.
Then the draft and Army took over and back I went in time to my crew cut days or worse. Somehow, long flowing locks were looked down on in Uncle Sam's service.

As a philosopher once said (or I read it on a wall) "eventually this too must pass" I finished my military service and set out to prove that perhaps I did indeed have a chance to cross dress and pass as a woman.
Once again I hoarded and hid money to buy wigs. Surely I was like a kid in a candy store. The varied styles, colors and textures of hair pieces just blew me away. In response I tried as many as I could. Unfortunately the greatest majority of my purchases were disasters.  I found wigs were similar to clothes in that hair doesn't make the woman, it just adds to the process.

Finally, here I am today. I have gone full circle thanks to good hair genetics I'm able to have my own hair (now down well onto my shoulders) styled and colored.
My final experience with hair is rather indepth-if I do it right.  Ironically, I'm still hoarding money to visit my stylist from my retirement budget- plus attempting to figure out which hair care products do the best job. The old days of a dollar bottle of shampoo are long gone. I'm now shopping for conditioners, color safe and other miracle hair products. In addition, I have upgraded my hair dryer, flat iron and brushes to enhance my locks (I hope).

Perhaps another one of the old "sayings" is right. Good things come to those who wait. Genetic women close to me compliment me on the thickness of my hair. I speculate much of the positives come from the fact my hair was not subjected to the heat, conditioners and styling a woman's does long term.
Would I love to have been that hippie girl with the beautiful hair streaming over her shoulders and back? You bet I would!
As reality would have it though, hair beggars can't be choosers  I'm just lucky to be where I'm at today.
In my case the "hair" beat the turtoise in the old fable.