Did "Zeke" Survive?

Yesterday I wrote the "Spoiler" post on the recent "Survivor" episode which unexpectedly outed a transgender man who was actually back for another try on the show. First of all, hell yes he survived because all of us trans folk are survivors!

I received two comments plus I added the Yahoo News post: " On Wednesday night’s episode of “Survivor,” the world watched as one contestant outed another as transgender.

During an emotional tribal council with the group, Jeff Varner turned to fellow contestant Zeke Smith and asked, “Why haven’t you told anyone here that you’re transgender?”

“Survivor” host Jeff Probst spoke exclusively with Yahoo Global News Anchor Katie Couric about his reaction.

Zeke Smith

“Everybody there had to replay in their head what they had just heard. I was the same way; I think Zeke was the same way,” Probst said. “It was a moment of ‘this just happened… I did hear what I think I just heard.’”

And the comments here on Cyrsti's Condo:

From Connie:

1. And then the show outed him to the whole world! The "reality" of the show is highly edited to the point of being unreal (or surreal, if they want it to be so). I don't watch the show, but I read that Probst thought the outing to be surreal, and the rest of the "cast" was appalled by the outing. I imagine they made that clear in the final edit. I hope the trans guy was OK with it all. If so, we can all take heart in the fact that the show has given a lesson to millions that it's not OK to out a trans person. It doesn't hurt their ratings with all of the hoopla, either.
2. And:
3. 
   Jeni SkunkApril 13, 2017 at 5:31 PM

   "I read the news article on this, on Gay Star News.
   Whilst these unreality TV shows have never been on my viewing list, it's interesting to read of how this one did play out during filming, near on 8 months ago"

I am sure the "editors" on Survivor played this up for all it was worth, but the fact still remains Zeke wanted to play the game as a man...not a trans man. Which I thought was important for the audience to understand. 

Plus the fact still remains that we (transgender women and trans men) still are an oddity of sorts, but even still we should not be the ones tossed under the bus for being trans. 

Whatever the editing, the punishment was swift and the other guy was sent home.

Spoiler

If for some reason you have been waiting to watch last night's episode of "Survivor" , I will only say there is a transgender person unexpectedly outed on the show.

If you are not familiar with the show, a group of men and women try to eliminate each other through basically alliances and mind games. The final winner gets a million dollars.

Last night a trans person was thrown under the out bound bus by a gay guy. So much for the LGBT umbrella!

It back fired and:

That's all I will say!

De-Transitioning?

Several nights ago on the TLC Network, they shared a show about two transgender people. One a trans woman, the other a trans man.

To make a long story short, the transgender woman had a SRS surgery scheduled with the renowned surgeon Marci Bowers. But she had to lose around 50 pounds before the surgery could take place. The show then moved to a gym where the trans woman was going to try to lose the weight with a personal trainer. As it turned out, to no avail. For whatever reason (and there could be several) she gave up losing the weight and even de-transitioned for a span of time before reverting back to more of a gender fluid life.

I thought the show was interesting because I can't tell you all the times I look at a guy and just want to be a no strings attached male. Life would have been such an easier journey.

Having written that though, I know the hell I went through just trying to live up to my demands of being "a guy." Plus, after bringing my journey as far as I have, I would have to be dragged (no pun intended) back into that world.

So I can see both sides of the fence on this per norm. (Cheers?) But I don't care what Norm says, I could never de-transition.

By the way, the person on the show is a lot like me. I thought she made a realistic if not knock down beautiful woman before she seemingly gave up on the SRS. Also there is the line of thought I subscribe too that if you have to rely on a shiny new vagina to prove who you are, there will be trouble ahead anyhow.

I had a difficult time finding out if there would be a follow up episode to her story or not. A lot of ground was covered in this show including the specter of suicide, a transgender wedding (man and trans woman) as well as other story lines.

My best advice is to follow the link above to see if you can stream it.

Monday Monday?

It's days like today I struggle to find something to write about. Life goes on, transgender or not. Which still seems to be of some interest to many and often tedious to me. I "yam what I yam" Popeye said it best!

Last night was different though. An example was the young transgender guy (Schuyler Bailar) who switched from the Harvard women's to men's swim team in (I can't help it) mid stream. Of course, much of the key to his successful transition was an accepting family and coaches at Harvard.

Then there was the story of Martine Rothblatt on a later show. The ultra successful CEO just happens to be one of America's highest paid C.E.O's and a transgender woman-sort of:


Martine prefers not to limit herself to available words: She’s suggested using “Pn.,” for “person,” in place of “Mr.” and “Ms.,” and “spice” to mean husband or wife. But “trans” is a prefix she likes a lot, for it contains her self-image as an explorer who crosses barriers into strange new lands. (When she feels a connection to a new acquaintance, she says that she “transcends.”) And these days Martine sees herself less as transgender and more as what is known as transhumanist, a particular kind of futurist who believes that technology can liberate humans from the limits of their biology—including infertility, disease, and decay, but also, incredibly, death. 

Martine and her partner were on an episode of Nat Geo's God , the story of the Ftm swimmer is called "Switching Teams" on 60 Minutes

After watching both of these shows, I understood again why the rightest red necks can't understand us. You only have to try.

Schuyler Bailar

.

Transgender Beauty Queen

By now you are thinking Cyrsti, that is not so new anymore, fortunately. Plus, the nature of Cyrsti's Condo subject matter is normally MtF in nature (since of course is what I am.) So, waaaaasssup?

This story about Ashton Colby story though is different. Ashton is a FtM former beauty queen. That's right kids, he gave up his trophy to be a ...man?

From Today "Health & Wellness" The Columbus, Ohio, native spent his teen years competing on the notoriously gender-normative pageant circuit, a way of suppressing his natural inclination to behave the opposite way. "From a young age, I was a tomboy," Colby recalled. "Before puberty, it's fine to be that person. But in middle school, kids start making fun of you, and adults start having other expectations of what your life should be."

A typical story to be sure, but not one considered deeply by trans women consumed by the "what ifs"  of even having the chance to be considered a "tom boy". What we don't realize in our onward 
hell bent rushes to be women, trans guys have it just as bad.

Ashton's story provides more than a little insight. Make sure to follow the link above for more.

The Saving Grace

If you are a transgender person of either gender, this will be all too familiar. If not please take the time to read it closely because it covers the whole LGBT family and beyond. It's called

BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR LIFE: 5 THINGS EVERY LGBTQ PERSON NEEDS TO KNOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE written by Chris Katzner.

Here is the first paragraph: Your life. It feels like there is no hope, trapped in a well of darkness, no way out. You pray to make it all go away, if only tomorrow never dawned. The constant ping of pain ricocheting within your soul, torturing your every breath. It’s all you can do, to put one knee in front of the other, crawling down this path of living hell.

Go here for the rest.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another cold Sunday edition is hitting your front porch. Around here in Cincinnati, we are at a balmy (yet sunny) thirteen degrees. Lets get a hot cup o joe (coffee) or cocoa (with marsh mellows) and get started.

Page One - The Week that Was or Wasn't: Saturday (yesterday) was one of those days when life's transgender changes seem to pile up. In chronological order, yesterday morning, I went and did the final work to get my Ohio drivers' license with the magical "F" under gender. I wrote yesterday about 50 years between Major license changes. What I meant Fiona was I got my original license when I was 16 and now I am 66. I got to thinking, does a half a decade sound better? Pretty intimidating to me-either way! Then, I didn't have much time to reflect upon the moment, as we Liz and I had to head up to Kettering, Ohio for my oldest Grandson's Bar Miftzfah. Being a grandparent, I had to do my duty and step up and in for what seemed like a million pictures with the family. I could only think that years later, future generations would look at the picture and see very (very likely) the immediate family's first transgender member. Although-my first wife (and mother of my daughter) has a trans man nephew. Indeed it is a small world.

Page Two- Yesterdays' Coffee - Opinion: As I rejoiced in the success of changing over my State of Ohio ID (driver's license), a trans girl friend of mine reminded me how difficult it is to do it. From Racquel: 
" Kick ass. Appeasing the Ohio BMV is no small feat. It took me over an hour on the phone just to get them to figure out which form to send me. Then you gotta get a shrink to certify you as trans enough. I can't help being proud from a "rite of passage" standpoint. But needing to beg for the permission of so many gatekeepers — having to satisfy doctors, therapists, the BMV, the State Dept, probate court, vital statistics, and the Social Security administration — is total BS."

Thanks Racquel! You see, she is much younger than me and I forget many don't have the benefit of a free therapist like I had being a trans vet. So, indeed my therapist had to approve my transness to enable me to start HRT. 

"BS" to be sure and my problem these days too is "treating" transgender youth (to prove their 'transness' has become a business of sorts. 

Page Three - The Back Page - Back to the Future?: Last night I literally had to stand up and do a "special reading"my Grandson chose for me in front of approximately 125 people. So, for the rest of the evening, it was tough to hide- if I wanted to. Plus, I saw more than a couple peeps I knew through my daughter from my male past. The top moment I suppose, was a rest room visit of all places. Liz and I were going to pee before the trip home and all of the sudden, it was "old home day." Seemingly, two or three women showed up from nowhere to have a bathroom chat-mostly about how much weight I have lost and how long my hair was from the last time they had seen me. At that moment, I knew the world had come full circle - at least for now.

Page Four- The Back Beat: As always, thanks soooooo much for stopping by the Condo. Hopefully, you are in a spot out of the snow and/or cold!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another Sunday edition is hitting your virtual front porch and if you live around this part of Ohio your porch is cold and getting colder by the hour-down into the zero degree range by tomorrow. Yikes! It's time to make a cup of Buckeye hot cocoa (with a tad of peanut butter) and maybe a little protein powder too. So, let's get started!

Page One-the Week that Was or Wasn't:  For Liz (my partner) and I, the weekend was the whole week essentially. Friday night we joined our friends for dinner which was cool as I wrote about and today we hope to make the early (old peeps) showing of the movie Carol  

The  film tells the story of a young aspiring photographer and her relationship with an older woman going through a difficult divorce. Highsmith based the character of Therese Belivet on herself, after an encounter she had in 1948 with a woman while she worked 

at Bloomingdales in New York City. Other than being an LGBT based film, the "movin' picture show" was actually filmed around the Cincinnati, Ohio area.

Page Two-Yesterdays' Coffee-Check Your Fluids-Opinion: Recently, I wrote more in depth of the dinner with a group of friends we went to Friday and the chance I had to sit close to a transgender man friend I have who I believe (like the majority of us) has struggled with gender fluidity. The reason I say that is, early on when I met him-I used the male pronoun and learned I may have been the only one that was. Of course I asked him and he said it didn't matter. So now I listen for what his partner calls him of course. 

Gender "Fluidity" may be more prevalent than we think, similar to transgender women and men. As Connie commented "As dazzled as you may be when you learn from someone that they know another trans person, it should give you pause to wonder just how that trans person is presenting herself or himself, and then how are you being viewed in the inevitable comparison." Good point! So many times it's NOT all about us. And, the more we realize it, the better chance we have to move on with our lives in our intended gender. A point which was made in the "Danish Girl" which we saw last night.

Page Three-The Back Page - Saving the Best for Last: I was literally shaken after viewing "The Danish Girl" I mean, how dare they rip chapters from my life and put them on the big screen? At the least the movie was lush in it's backgrounds and scenery, powerful in it's message and so sad. 

With that, it's time to go. Wherever you are remember I luv you all and thanks for making the Condo a regular stop! 

Trans Week?

Last night I went with Liz out with a group of friends.  It's normally always a great time. 

I'm always dazzled though how many people who are coming forward these days saying they know a transgender person. Every time, it makes me feel as if we aren't as rare as everyone thinks. The person last night said a 20 something person in her office just came out as a transgender man and (naturally) was confused and scared to death.

I passed along my knowledge of community resources.

Also last night (in a group of approx twenty) I met up with a very gender fluid trans guy. I have to be very careful  on my pronoun use with him. (I do know he was going by he last night.)

Our group is struggling mightily to put together a Halloween Ball this year and everyone was given a chance to "volunteer" for the area they are interested in. My trans guy friend was thinking of security and a "Joker" costume out of the Batman films. Of course he asked me in essence would I do something with him? Although a couple really off the wall "Joketress" ideas flew through my noggin-he was hinting more of a Batman and I thought "Hell No!" politely of course.

So the real learning experience from last night was, I need get finally get my personal cards updated to pass along info. 

It won't be hard now since I won a personal photo session at a local photographers salon. Part of the package is a digital image I could use in all my social media. (So I can tell her what I need.)

Plus I have to update all kinds of other particulars as my life changes to pass along a card to anyone who needs it!

Do Not Pee on Me

I saw this today from a blog called our-trans-mission,
It's called "I Gotta Pee" 
by Cathy Serino.
It's definitely worth a read!

Below is a picture of a transgender man who makes Cathy's point-dramatically!!

  

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Morning Edition"

Ker Plunk! Welcome to another Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition. Get yourself a hot "Cup o Joe" and lets get started! It's cold here in Cincinnati, Ohio. Which indeed it should be during the Christmas season. Lets get started!

Page One :The Week that Was - or Wasn't:  Much to the chagrin of the anti-transgender movement strides continue to be made in the world from the LGBTQ community: 

Such as this week when Canada’s first transgender judge was been appointed to provincial court in Manitoba.

Kael McKenzie, a Crown attorney from Winnipeg, was designated a judge on Dec. 17 and will begin his new job immediately.With his appointment to provincial court, Mr. McKenzie becomes the third openly trans judge now practicing in North America. The first, Victoria Kolakowski, of Alameda County, Calif., was appointed in 2010.Many are calling Mr. McKenzie’s appointment “a Canadian milestone.” (Thanks Bobbie)

For me, as I have written-this Wednesday is legal name change day!

Page Two: Yesterday's Coffee - Editorial Opinion: One of the blogs I follow is TransGriot which is moderated/written by Monica Roberts. Monica is a transgender woman of color who is never short on opinion - most of which even I agree with. Monica is also from Houston, Texas where the trans- rightist- conservative bigots banded together to shoot down HERO 


Monica wrote: 

"The problem I have with it along with many of our allies is that the taping (of another 'I am Caitlin' show) had no Houston trans representation, and especially Houston trans people of color leaders to discuss on camera an issue that we have been all in about and are the experts at discussing in HERO. In Dee Dee Watters and my cases, we have been fighting to pass our human rights ordinance since January 2014."

Follow the link above for Monica's thoughts on many transgender issues-especially from the point of color!

Page Three: Entertainment: This Holiday Season we have the premier of the "Danish Girl." and the announcement of  Amazon's new kids show co produced by transgender woman Shadi Petosky . The show is called " Danger and Eggs." 

Shadi 

As Variety and Entertainment Weekly reported, Petosky learned Friday that Danger & Eggs, the animated children's show she co-created with animator Mike Owens, has been green lit for 25 episodes by Amazon, along with two other shows aimed at kids. 

Page Four: The Back Page: Doesn't seem possible but this will be the last Sunday Edition before Christmas. I know that so many of you will be traveling to see families and many of you who have families who don't want you in their lives anymore. Either way, take care of yourselves and be safe! You are always loved here and thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo! Merry Christmas and Blessed Yule!!!!

Trans-i-tion

Did I still spell it right? Or more importantly, do  I know what it means? Sometimes I do - I think. Until someone asks me. Then I am not so sure.

It's like Friday night when the transgender man (at the meeting I was at) who took a moment to point out Caitlin Jenner was not a good example of the overall transgender community. As we all expected Jenner will look the part increasingly as a very attractive woman, but how  much true transition Caitlin has experienced in her gilded trans closet remains to be seen.

Then, later on in the evening (of course) the biggest elephant in the room was heard from- what about the rest room gender issues we are suffering from? The trans man spoke to the fact  that transgender women seem to have a tougher time with the restrooms. A woman (cis) asked what restroom he used. The reply was the men's room and of course when the topic came around to me-I said the women's. I added that even though I felt my choice was the right one to make morally, it often was the safer one. I can't imagine just walking into a men's room anymore and using the urinal-without definite repercussions. Perhaps physical.

Bottom line is, I have yet to figure out exactly what line one crosses over to claim a successful so-called transition. I mean if you go on appearance, sometimes I can go days without so much as a side glance. Then, it seems every other person wants to be rude and stare. 

I do think though, a transition begins long before one meets the public. It's not a secret women spend (or should) much more time on hair, skin, weight, clothes etc than men.It is yet another BIG reason it is tougher to transition to the feminine side of the fence than vice versa. 

So there you go. Can't say I am not a little envious of Jenner's appearance.But then again most other women would be also. It's tough for most of us to afford the personal trainer, fashion assistant and extra surgery Jenner was "born into." 

Caitlin may have to jump out of that mirror and into the world (without the heels).

Maybe that's what a trans-i-tion is truly all about.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Picture compliments of Robbie Lewis, The Ohio and what I call a "trans" themed sunset.

Ker PLUNK! Another weekend edition is hitting your virtual front porch! Here on the banks of the Ohio in Cincinnati, we are enjoying a chilly, sunny fall morning with temperatures expected to rise. Perfect for a hot "cup o joe"!!!









Page One-The Week that Was - or Wasn't: By far, two events overshadowed any of my mere existence last week: the tragedy in Paris and the presentation I heard Friday from a transgender man at a "Love Must Win Inc." meeting. Both nearly beyond the power of words. The week for me marked the beginning of yet another stage of my long gender journey.

Page Two- Bureaucracy and the Trans Girl: With everything else which has been going on, I have neglected updating you all on the process of realigning my legal gender "markers" with how I am living my life. Since I do have a letter from my psychologist, stating I was "qualified" to change from a "M" to a "F" on nearly every form of legal identification I have-except here in Ohio where the best that happens to my birth certificate is an attachment is added.

What really gets to me is, I still have to have a "mental health" professional to "approve" what I have known forever. (I do know also, a physician can approve it too,)

No matter though, my Probate Court hearing is set for Dec. 23 (really!) the initial filing fee was $89.00, Then I got hit for $22.00 for a certified birth certificate, Then another $45.00 for the legal newspaper filing fee.

Page Three - Here Comes "Da Judge": It's interesting to me (and not in a good way) the judge who has to sign off on my legal name change has refused to sign same sex marriage licenses. Not unlike Kimmy "the Snake Worshiper" in Kentucky. The difference has been in Ohio they have found another way to work around him and he just lost in the election. (But still be finishing his term.) So it's all just paranoia-I hope.

Well, "Gotz" to go kids-hope you have a good week!!! Luv ya all and thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo.

Youth Will Inherent the World-Thank Goodness!!

As I head all too quickly towards the double sixes" (66 years old), I watch increasingly with interest what the younger transgender generation is up to. Recently, I ran across this look from Newsweek about the relationship between a young transgender man (coming out) to his lesbian girl friend. 

Freddie Bologno, right, and his girlfriend Tile Wolfe

(Trans man)Freddie Bologno, 27, works at Do Something, a digital organization that helps young people push for social change through social media and text messaging. For Bologno, the text was a way to both come out publicly and start a conversation about being young and transgender. But before coming out to the world, Bologno had to talk to his girlfriend, Tile Wolfe. “I just started crying,” says Wolfe, remembering the moment Bologno said he wanted to start taking hormones to transition from female to male. “Not because I was sad, but because this was suddenly so real.”

Even though I know enough about social media to be semi dangerous, the idea Freddie could text this to 2.4 million people still staggers me.

Bologno continued: “I’ve texted for DoSomething as Alysha for 3yrs, but I’ve been struggling. I'm trans, I'm Freddie!” In many ways he could be speaking for so many of us, in or out of the closet - we are transgender on so many levels  and are NOT going away.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Kerplunk! Another Sunday edition from "The Condo" has hit your virtual front porch. It's a beautiful Spring day around here but still prime time for a simmering hot cup o joe! Lets get started.

Page One-The Week That Was or Wasn't:  During the week, the spirit of Leelah Alcorn was honored when President Obama made a public statement against transgender or gay conversion therapy. The announcement was even made there would be a "gender friendly" restroom in the White House. Yes, I instantaneous came up with plenty of cheap shots but "bottom" line is, the largely symbolic move was welcome-when I make my next trip to the White House.

Page Two-Tears Fall Again:  Taylor Alesana (left), a 16-year-old transgender girl in Fallbrook, Calif., who faced "constant" bullying online and in school, died by suicide April 2, reports San Diego TV station KGTV. Once again, ignorance equals bullying, equals death and tragedy-again.

Page Three - Army Strong? 

The Army is now leading the charge to change the U.S. military's long-standing ban on openly transgender troops by seeking guidance about whether it can allow a transgender sergeant to continue serving as the man he is. 

Army Sgt. Shane Ortega (right) served three combat tours, according to a Thursday profile in The Washington Post: "Two in Iraq, one in Afghanistan. Two as a Marine and one in the Army. Two as a woman and one as a man."

Unless you served in a different branch of the US Army at a different time than I did, nothing is as simple or easy as it seems-such as letting Shane KEEP serving.

Page Four-The Back Page: It's been a busy week around here with a potential overload of potential posts for all of you! So in the mean time, I hope you dodged the big time storms in the middle of the country this week and have a good week to come! Hugs to all!

OMG Honey is that Bruce Jenner Next Door?

Over the years here in Cyrsti's Condo we have discussed our efforts to "hide" or "sneak" around the neighbors as we were testing the waters as cross dressers and later as androgynous transgender women and men.  These days, I am again wondering "what the neighbors think" in two locations.  Liz's house which will become my permanent spot is much more mellow for a number of reasons. The main one is the lack of traffic. My sister-in-law's is much more interesting. At both places of course, if I am working outside these days, I'm wearing a "hoody" and jeans with my hair pulled back. So, I do think (as I have written) HRT has made me very androgynous.  So androgynous in fact, I run into many people from my past who don't come close to recognizing me. Most certainly that's OK.

Let me point out, at this stage, I am not at her house much and during the 6 months or so I have been, a few of the neighbors have sort of sought me out-for what ever reason.  One was when her son landed his drone at Christmas in our back yard, the other was by pure accident. Sister-in-law  lives across the street in an older neighborhood with on street parking and the other woman was nice enough.  On occasion though, I do entertainment myself wondering if the gossip is flying fast and furious between her house and the two next door.  In the one to her left lives a highly religious family whose father worked with me years ago.  To her right-a woman who I question much of her sanity.

I don't really care but it's just another occasion when I would like to be a butterfly on the fence when they talk about is that  "Bruce Jenner" person living across the street.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" Another Sunday Edition has hit your virtual front porch!  Get that hot "cup o joe" of yours ready to go and lets get started.
Page One: Is the Third Time a Charm?  Yes, and no-last night I attended my third Leelah Alcorn vigil in the area in which I live. The one last night was in Dayton, Ohio and oddly was a different take in many ways on the same tragic circumstance.  Outside of a few "more mature" speakers, the evening was for the transgender youth packed into a small church.  Afterward, my transgender woman friend Racquel talked with me about the changes she has seen just over the past years.  Here is part of her Facebook post:

Many Ohio trans people have been brutally murdered in the past couple years. In Cleveland, Betty Skinner—a disabled trans woman—was beaten to death. Brittany Stergis was shot in the head. Ce Ce Dove (referred to as an oddly dressed man) was stabbed several times, tied to a cinder block and thrown in a lake. In Toledo, Candice Milligan was called "tranny" and "a dude in a dress" then beaten unconscious. Police said, "This may have been because of his sexual orientation."

In the first reports, they were all treated as defective freaks. The right pronouns weren't used and the word "transgender" never came up. To be fair, eventually the stories got partially updated. But I think we owe Leelah for really bringing the issue out in the open.

We also discussed the racial aspect to all of this, which I am going to write about in a future post.

Page Two: The Good News or the Bad News?  Last night, I walked away from the vigil last night with many, many positives.  However, being a veteran of many corporate brain washing meetings over the years-  I just wonder if weeks, months and years later, how much of the Leelah Alcorn story will be remembered?  I know a group in her hometown Cincinnati, Ohio is attempting to raise money for a memorial for Leelah.  Being the cynic I am though, I know a couple high schoolers who don't even know who John Hancock was and why was the guy in the statue dressed funny? How's the memorial working for John? But- One of the reasons I think Leelah just won't fade away as quickly as many would like her too, were the youth I saw stand up and speak their peace and define their young transgender lives in Dayton (last night) and Cincinnati (a week ago).  I was so impressed with how so many people are working in the trenches such as GLSEN who are trying to do such a difficult job!

Page Three:  Steve Harvey.  Steve Harvey has become a huge media personality and like so many others, came from extremely humble roots in Cleveland, Ohio. This morning, I heard an interview with him. Along the way, he spoke of the ten or so jobs he found and quit before he began the struggle to be a comedian. One in particular I remember. He said, I was working this assembly line job but I was putting more time into entertaining and telling jokes, so I quit.  The job just wasn't him. Doesn't that describe our lives as transgender women and men?  The same as Steve Harvey, we just got tired of entertaining the world as someone we weren't?

Page Four:  The Back Page.  As always, I appreciate you all for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo-with out all of you- nothing else matters!!!!! (Well, maybe nothing else!) You don't have to be good-just be safe Connie!

A Trans Girl Should Be Three Things

Recently, I saw this fashion board on Pinterest called "A Girl should be Two Things-Classy and Fabulous."

Being a trans girl, I added a third because we transgender women have to try harder.  We have to be Fabulous, Classy and Act Like We Have Been Here.  It's nearly impossible for me to pull up an example, but I am going to use boxing legend Kellie Maloney (left) who went through a publicized Mtf gender transition in 2014. Kelli looks genuine, happy and like she belongs.

So, when I read comments from haters within our community who want to emphasize ONLY appearance.  I was watching a show on Oxygen called Living Different .  The show features several different generics including one who is in love with a Ftm transitioning transgender man and one of the most androgynous models I have seen-known as Rain. "Rain" dates both genders and in the show had one of her prospective photographers (generic) locked eye to eye.  My sister in law was watching it with me and said the photographer without a doubt would go out with Rain.  I said not so fast...when I meet civilians, many times I can see they are locked "onto me".  I am "fabulous" because they have never met anyone like me, not because they want to run off and do insane things with me.  Class follows quickly because indeed I need to downplay any idea I am brave or courageous because I am living life on my terms.  Finally, I have to be calm and play the moment because most of the time I am the teacher.  Fortunately I can, because increasingly I have been here and are doing it.

It's just another reason I believe in attitude over appearance when we transgender people interact with the world.

What Would Mao Think?

Bobbie sent this along from Foreign Policy.com:

Over the past 30 years, Chinese society has undergone an evolution in traditional morality perhaps as rapid and unsettling as its economic boom. Yet sexual orientation and gender identity have retained a strong aura of cultural taboo. Same-sex marriage remains illegal, and many LGBT individuals enter into traditional marriages in order to assuage social and family expectations. But even that is changing, as LGBT communities haveflourished in China’s sprawling metropolitan centers such as Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Beijing. Now a widely published scholar and well-known proponent of same-sex marriage has revealed her own relationship with a transgender man, a revelation that has taken Chinese social media by storm.

Li Yinhe, a public intellectual with a Ph.D. from the University of Pittsburgh who writes frequently on sexuality, revealed Dec. 18 on the Sina blogging platform that she is in a relationship with a transgender man whom she does not name, and that they have lived together for the past 17 years, starting in mid-1997.* The revelation was all the more unexpected given Li’s prior marriage to the renowned male novelist Wang Xiaobo; many in China had continued to view Wang’s untimely death of a heart attack in April 1997 as a romantic tragedy that left Li an ever-grieving widow. Li’s Dec. 18 revelation has already been viewed over 600,000 times, garnered over 7,000 comments, and has been widely republished in mainstream news outlets including Tencent and QQ. Li also posted the blog to her one million followers on Weibo, China’s massive microblogging platform; within 24 hours, it had been shared more than 33,000 times with more than 10,000 comments.

The shear size of China's population alone means when it makes a statement-it makes a big splash. If you are of age though, you will remember the Marxist Chinese dictator Mao Tse-tung . Furthermore you may remember how cool it was (in the non establishment sort of way) to carry and/or have a copy of Mao's Little Red Book.  Even if you never read it.

So, when I read stories such as this, I know the world has come a long way. The article is quite complex and has a few corrections. Go here for more.

Trans Girls Night Out

I have a dear transgender woman friend I mention here in Cyrsti's Condo often. Lately we have been able to get together every other week or so.  Last night was one of those nights.

Naturally, the chance to interact one on one with another trans girl is special- period.  We share the unique bond of the lives we lead.  No matter what anyone else thinks of us (pro or con) we are living the life we so desperately wanted.

We always meet in a beer tap house/restaurant and sit at the bar and chat.  I've been a regular  for over seven years and have in many ways transitioned in front of a couple of their long term bartenders. In fact two of them remember me when I used to come in there as a guy with my deceased wife who used to work nearby. So meeting my friend there is a natural since I have been accepted for so long and now she is too.

She is significantly ahead of me in her transition in many ways and behind in others.  She is 40, I'm estimating on and off hormones for 15 years, tons of electrolysis, tall, slim and attractive. So attractive last night, the acoustical guitar singer playing was seriously flirting with her.  We even got a special mention to the "ladies at the bar" - we were the only ones.

The only transitional  area I believe she is behind me is she is finally putting full energy into being herself.  It's the place my partner Liz says I found myself in a year or so ago.  She says she found herself marveling at my feminine person coming out of her shell. Also,  I have been so fortunate to witness it in a transgender man friend I have. Of course I'm biased, but I don't see how even the biggest transgender detractors can ignore this.

Now my friend is working on changing her gender markers.  Drivers license done, except for a subtle screw job at the BMV when they added her very male middle name on a license marked "F".  Of course they did! I have no middle name on my male license at all.  Her next step, the legal name change, is in it's final stages.

Can't say I'm not more than a little envious and a much more than a ton frustrated. My plan still is to wait until I go through the turmoil of a final move in with Liz before I begin the gender marker journey. That kids, is a whole other story because you have to add the Medicare and Veteran's Administration systems to my markers, just to make sure I would have extra fun!

But real fun was what the two of us had last night.  I even volunteered to be her "wing girl"-if she buys the wings!