More Gender Dysphoria

Several days ago I wrote a post on Gender Dysphoria here in Cyrsti's Condo. Basically on the debilitating effects it has on many of us. Transgender or gender fluid. As with all of my posts, I value other thoughts. Connie has this one:

 FABULOUSCONNIEDEENovember 12, 2018 at 3:44 PM

"I've said it before, and it still holds true, I doubt I will ever live through a day without having some reminder that I am a trans woman. Even if I were to have nothing but positive experiences with the outside world, I will always have some degree of internalized transphobia.

Due to a couple of bad discs in my neck, I have lost the ability to do some things with my hands and arms. I have learned to compensate in order to do many of the ordinary things in my life, but I no longer can do the work that I used to do for financial security, nor can I play the drums at a professional level (something I attribute to having been my saving grace in dealing with my gender dysphoria over most of my years). My atrophied right arm and numb left hand are constant reminders of what I can't do anymore. I try to be positive, concentrating on doing other things that I still can, but it's difficult to maintain when I can't even eat a whole bowl of soup without getting fatigued and having the last spoonfuls drip more down my chin than making it into my mouth. It's not only frustrating, but very unladylike!

I don't think I had any more of a choice to transition as I did to develop my physical problems. Interestingly, they both started at about the same time, and learning to go through my life positively in spite of each of them has been a struggle. Nevertheless, I cannot allow myself to see either as a disability - even if there are others who would.

I think that getting used to whatever limitations we may have is certainly better than living in fear and despair, but we should never settle for giving in to them. I may realize that I can't pass as a woman any better than I can now pass a football, but I also know that I don't have to be defined by those things, either.

We shouldn't put so much pressure on ourselves. Doing so only robs ourselves, and any others who may care, of who we really are. "

Thanks!

More Meet-Ups

Tonight is another cross dresser - transgender support group meeting.

EJ Johnson

This is the one which has become way more interesting, due to new and returning participants. For example we had one of the members describe herself as "agender" a term I hadn't heard much since I don't go to the younger trans meetings here in the metro-Cincinnati Ohio area.

It's interesting I did hear the term used last night when I happened along a Lisa Ling special on gender neutral people. One in particular was "E.J. Johnson" who happens to be the gender fluid off spring of NBA basketball star "Magic Johnson."

All  in all, the show was a nice fascinating look into gender which included a crossdresser with a beard in a coffee shop.

The series is on CNN and here is a link to their web page.

How Much "Fluid" do you Have in your Gender?

Like it or not, most humans have a certain amount of male and female built into us. Gender, like sexuality is on a spectrum. It's only the very rare few who have the chance to embrace and enjoy their "gender fluidity."

Of course Connie has another look, compliments of Cathy and the Cyrsti's Condo "Ultimate Cross Dresser post.

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJune 19, 2018 at 4:58 PM

"She Cathy) was thinking more and more about adopting the "gender fluid" label. Some days she feels like a girl and some she doesn't".

I immediately started singing the old candy bar jingle after reading this.

Sometimes, I feel like a nut,
Sometimes, I don't.
Almond Joy has nuts,
Mounds don't.

(And then some of us have both mounds and nuts at the same time)

I'm not clear on what gender fluidity really is. In my mind, all humans are, at least, somewhat gender fluid. I think it's more of an instant by instant sort of thing, though, rather than day by day. Maybe some of us are more viscous in our fluidity than others?

For myself, gender fluidity is soluble. That is, any masculine traits I have retained are totally mixed in with the feminine. Allowing my feminine-self to take precedence, just as I was always meant to do, means that I now live as a woman who chooses which of the more-masculine traits to be mixed into my femininity. This is so different from the way I used to live, taking great care to both exaggerate the masculine and hide the feminine. It was simply unnatural for me to see or present myself as a man with some feminine traits, but that may work just fine for many others. My flow is most definitely running toward the feminine side, but I do still have some masculine undercurrents.

I do know that I will never allow myself to go back to the gender whirlpool of dysphoria, or even the paddling against the currents of shit creek without a paddle. "

Thanks for your insiight and candy bars.

The Ultimate Crossdresser?

This previous Wednesday, when I went to the Cincinnati LGBT Veterans Pride Day, I had the opportunity to chat with the group organizer, Cathy. She is the one standing in the middle in the picture.

Somewhere in the conversation, the topic turned to one of the other members of the group we were supporting.

Since I was never sure how she (Cathy) identified herself, I simply quoted the other member and said Wendy had referred to Cathy as the "ultimate cross dresser." Meaning (I think), that she is a very accomplished cross dresser.

I was a little surprised (then again not) when Cathy paused slightly and said, she was thinking more and more about adopting the "gender fluid" label. Some days she feels like a girl and some she doesn't.

I thought it was a great answer and thought I might pass it along to some of you Cyrsti's Condo readers who may be struggling with your gender identities!

Checklist

Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have been discussing the gender "teeter totter" or the gender fluidity of who we are as human beings.  Along the way, Emma Gray sent in an interesting comment:

Emma GrayMay 5, 2018 at 2:23 AM

" Indeed, I started off wishing that if I did enough, checked enough boxes, that I’d become female for all intents and purposes. It was like trying to hold my finger in the dyke only to always find more leaks. Slowly, incrementally, I started liking myself as I am, a woman whose just trying to be myself. I do continue to learn and craft my presentation, like most women I suppose. Regardless, like Popeye said, “I ams what I ams!”

"Popeye"

I agree Emma and had a similar "checklist" myself. I started out finding "safe spots" I could go all the time, where I would not be challenged at all. Shopping certain stores for clothing and bookstores were great locations for me. From there, I built my confidence and started to stop for lunch and even tried to use certain restrooms. Fast forward and I became the transgender person I am today...gradually.

If you are in a similar beginning situation as a cross dresser or novice transgender woman, I would recommend the same path. Plus, depending upon where you live, civilians are having an easier and easier time accepting our culture. Just be prepared to go back to the drawing board any number of times to help learn the basics of living as your non birth gender. After all, girls have spent their whole lives perfecting (or trying to) being women.  After a time you can reach that magic point (like Emma) when you too can quote "Popeye."

Before you know it, you will find yourself at a point where you have discovered who you were meant to be all along and have a chance to enjoy it!  We only live once.

At the least, it is a daunting task for anyone and I find it humorous when anyone thinks we have a choice being trans. Or, anyone else in the LGBTQ spectrum.  It's a life or death decision for many of us transgender individuals.

Thanks Emma! I have included a shot of "Popeye" himself for those of you who are too young to remember the classic cartoon character. Now, eat your damn spinach...like Popeye.

The Gender "Tipping Point" Part Two

Recently I wrote a post here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning my Gender Tipping Point. Connie wrote in and added:

"In my case, my rising femininity was more a matter of dropping the dead weight of the masculine facade I had been carrying around for so many years. I guess I'm one of those for whom being feminine has always been easier, but I began transitioning because I could no longer compartmentalize my gender expressions (masculine and feminine) in living as two separate personas. 

Interestingly, setting myself free to live authentically has led to my giving less and less thought to my gender at all. We are all really a combination of gender traits, yet the transgender person is so much more aware of her, or his, own gender than is the average cis person. My own dream is to achieve that kind of balance, unconcerned with tipping whatsoever."

Thanks for the comment! I too give less and less thought to gender as I live as me. Plus, the more I hear (primarily from the younger set) about "gender fluidity", the more I like it too. I agree we are all a mix of genders anyway.

Unfortunately, society still dictates a strict gender binary be followed in most all circumstances, as seen by the number of transgender or gender queer kids who end up estranged from their families on the street.

I think too, the amount of time I spent falling off the balance beam (or "she saw" as Connie called it), could have been spent so many other ways. I am saddened on what could have been.

Then again too, crying over "spilled make-up" is a waste of time too.

Diversity within Diversity

Tuesday was my transgender veteran support group meeting at the Dayton, Ohio Veterans campus.

For once, the meeting was well attended (twelve) people and wonderfully diverse. Two much younger new people attended who identified mainly as gender fluid as well as the on again- off again SRS person from Richmond, Indiana.

We also have several run of the mill transgender peeps, as well as a "card carrying" lesbian. The mix made for an interesting conversation on several topics.

We talked about having a VA presence at the Dayton, Ohio Pride celebration this year and one of the gender fluid persons said they didn't like Prides basically because of all of the blatant exhibitionists. Her only experiences were from Atlanta, Georgia and Berlin, Germany. Far from the still conservative ideas of Middle America. I told her also, it wasn't so long ago, I felt totally un-represented at Prides "overrun" by drag queens and garishly attired cross dressers. Fortunately, I haven't felt that way at the last couple of Prides I have went to.

The other gender fluid person (who I will refer to as she) said she didn't quite understand what all the fuss was about existing in the public's eye. Even though, she is a self professed six foot three inches and a former Army Ranger, she is still quite androgynous and has quite a bit of passing "privilege." So at her age (30 something) she has missed quite a bit of the public problems for transgender, or gender fluid, individuals that used to exist much stronger... back in the day. It was nice we "more mature" participants could explain the "good old days" were just old and not so good.

Finally, I also brought up the possibility of receiving voice help through the University of Cincinnati Medical School, in conjunction with the VA and I hoped to get more info soon!

 All in all, one of those support group meetings that for once provided support!

Cyrsti's Condo "Archive Post"

This post was written in November of 2013 and explains a lot about me as a person:

Recently I  butched it up and did some basic rewiring around Cyrsti's Condo. I accomplished what I set out to fix and destroyed my nails in the process of course.  Naturally,  electrical work is not recommended in Cyrsti's basic nail care book!

As I finally finished and had new sources of light for my dim eyeballs, I began to think of my own wiring. First things first,   of course I'm transgender or at the least gender fluid or whatever label you want to attach to me. Then let's not forget about my pesky bi-polar disorder which was actually diagnosed by a therapist I was seeing because of my gender questions. Plus, for a touch of spice, let's throw in my occasional bout with dyslexia. Yes I do start a book or magazine from the back or middle.  Doesn't everyone?

Certainly, I will never find out who was responsible for my wiring job. But dammit I want to blame someone!  Maybe I could start with Mom taking the late 1940's/ 1950's problem pregnancy meds. Some of which have been mentioned as possible links to transgender issues. I can hear her now, "Would you rather be transgender or not here at all? And by the way we can get rid of that trans trash by plugging you into a wall somewhere."

2013

What good would it do me anyhow? Over a half century later I'm fairly sure I won't see a lawyer commercial on the Jerry Springer show screaming if your Mom took Drug XYZ during her 1949 pregnancy and you are trans, call us now for cash!

Oh yeah, did I mention my attention span is so short I can barely read a book or the only time I am truly relaxed is when I'm asleep?

Damn! If I didn't live with me, I would have me committed!!!!

I can only say after I finally came to terms with all my wiring issues, I came to understand why my life was rarely boring!

Gender Identity Conceptions and Misconceptions

Recently, CBSN weighed in on the difference in genders: This post may be a bit wonky...but if you follow the CBSN link to the video it will be worthwhile. (At the bottom of the page.) Here is a quick intro:

"It’s a common misconception that gender identity and sexual orientation are connected. If someone is transgender, for example, many people automatically assume that they must also be gay. That, however, is not the case. Gender and sexuality are different, and it’s an important distinction to understand.

“People often perceive that they intersect. But many of us are working very hard to unhinge one from the other,” said sj Miller, deputy director at NYU’s Metropolitan Center for Research on Equity and the Transformation of Schools. “They’ve been conflated for so long, and they’re completely different.” 

Play VIDEO

Gender - The Space Between

Gender Fluid?

Recently, I saw a comment on a blog I follow which I totally disagreed with.

Basically the commenter was totally against the idea of a person feeling one gender one day and another the next. The argument was essentially you can't have your cake and eat it too.

Obviously the person had not heard of, considered or believed in the idea of "gender fluidity." It's relatively new and tough on a lot of people who want to stay within the binaries. This time the gender ones.

For the longest time, I have felt I have been gender fluid more than a strict transgender woman. Now though, I am tipping the scale to the feminine side, except for a couple days coming up I know I will have to tip to what's left of my guy self.

So I find very little problem with claiming both my shares of the cake -and with ice cream!  Why? Because I deserve it for all the hell I have gotten over the years. Plus, it's fun to be dressed totally as a guy with Liz and be called a girl.

So those you reject the gender fluid term out of hand should feel fortunate they did not have to wake up most mornings trying to figure out which gender you were.

R.I.P. David Bowie

As you have undoubtedly heard by now, David Bowie passed this Sunday. Many of us in and out of the LGBTQ community thought of him as a glam rocker-gender fluid music pioneer-which he was.

To others though, Bowie meant so much more. It was too easy to dismiss him as crossdressing glam rocker to explain my feelings.

For me though Bowie was soooo much more. He was a beacon of "gender fluid" hope for us (not unlike Andy Warhol.) in an age devoid of it.

And then, there was the music!



I will leave you with this: (My own take on Bowie's  Space Oddity Cut'  "Ground Control to Major David, take your place in the heavens and thanks!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Morning Edition"

KerPlunk! and welcome to another Sunday morning edition! It's building to another very warm 90 plus degree Ohio summer day around here, so the "joe" (coffee) is going to being iced today. Let's get started:

Page One-The Week that Was-or Wasn't. Not much ultra new or exciting last week. The usual suspects populated our transgender world such as Caitlin Jenner, Jazz Jennings and yes even Zoey Tur. Plus, we picked up a discussion on Trans woman Carly from the ABC Family Network. Even though we know "reality" is not often "reality" on American television, the discussions often are-after the cameras are off out here in the real world.

Page Two-Of Interest: As you regulars know, my choice of pursuing gender reassignment surgery is no. I understand the drive for so many others to have SRS but at the age of 65 what is between my legs does not define my gender. But-I do not hold it against others who desire the operation deeply. However, what has been happening little by little is others are feeling that way too-many in the younger generation who identify as gender fluid, agender or whatever. As always, I can't help but wonder how I would have felt "back in the day" when I was young and the same info would have been available. 

Page Three-It's Raining Men- in Skirts? Yes, yesterday was the Dayton, Ohio Celtic Festival and more than a few of the men showed up in their finest kilts. If you are not sure what a "kilt" is all about, follow the link. Rest assured kids, these guys weren't cross dressers-at least yesterday! I do have some pictures (no not in a kilt!) around somewhere on Liz or I's phone to pass along later then again you know what I look like.

Page Four-The Back Page: Before we take off, I am going to pass along a story from the other night  when Nikki, Kim and I got together for an adult beverage.  As I have mentioned before, both of them are of the "lesbian" faith. After we had been there awhile, it became evident a couple others of "the faith" across the bar were having an emotional moment. Nikki, who is never shy about buying others a "beverage" had the bartender sent the person across the bar (who was crying) a drink. The bartender said "from whom?" Nikki just said "from the team. How sweet!!!

Thanks as always for taking your valuable time for stopping by! Luv's ya!!!

On The Pill?

Recently Frock Magazine's Katie Glover brought up a rhetorical question on the "Gender Society" Facebook site. .  If you had the chance to take separate gender pills which would once and for all decide your fate- which one would you take?

The choices went something like this:

Pink Pill.- You would become a young pretty girl and live your life as a woman.
Blue Pill-  You would stay a guy without the burden of wanting to become a woman ever again.
White Pill- you stay as you are as a transgender person.

Of course, being a Libra I chose to pull out my scales and weigh out the issue and of course over reasoned it quickly.

Here is what I came up with...I flushed the white pill immediately.  No matter how I feel about my life as a transgender or gender fluid person now (and am even discovering some benefits to it)-I wish no one having to take the path I did.

Surprisingly to me I would have taken the harder of the two gender pills-the female one.  The easy way out would have been the blue, which I will explain. Being a generic from birth I think would have put me directly in the path of trying to live up to the imagined expectations of my Mom. I know, she expected a ton from me as a son, but it would have been worse as a daughter. Plus, I think very simply, girls have more layers in their environment to learn and deal with than boys. Plus females are the high maintenance gender physically of the two binaries.  There is more that can go wrong in the plumbing and wiring.

Having written all of that- STILL give me the pink pill!

Finally, the Blue Pill.  While I still think the concept of "Male Privilege" was a farce for me-the demands of growing up male ended up being a lot less.  I grew up in a family dominated by macho males and I found out early how I could play the game-if I wanted to or worse yet had to. Plus how much easier would have it been to wipe out all the stress and tension of wanting to be a girl?

All in all, what a wonderful question and one that I guess has been floating around for some time.

Which pill would you take?

Merging

Yesterday was a prime example of the world closing in on me-or the opposite.  I went early to the convenience store down the street and the deli to run my errands and I just didn't bother to tuck my pony tail out of the back of my ball hat and (quoting Crosby, Stills  Nash & Young from Almost Cut my Hair Today) - I let my "Freak Flags Fly" although I inserted "Trans Flag."

Predictably, I had a couple **generics who wanted to chat about it and I was just tired of making excuses about how I came to have all this hair, and we exchanged ideas about the seasons, styles and colors.  On the most basic level, both of them just knew I had entered their world of expertise because surely guys can have the amount of hair I have around here, but few color it as I do and even fewer on a seasonal basis. Paraphrasing what Pat said in a comment about me in another post, yes I am one of the peeps in the "social" category and those two women probably couldn't care less if I was transgender, gender fluid, androgynous or gay.  That is my cross to bear and it is getting heavy so I am into my own "Don't ask, Don't Tell and Who Cares?" mode.

It's just another instance of closing one gender life and beginning another - on my home turf. (Which I never set out to do-I wanted to do it elsewhere for the most part). But why not? Destiny ultimately pushes us in one direction or another and she gave me a giant push!  I dislike it so though when she gloats and says, "I told you so-dummy!"



**generic- born female

Where Did You Get Your Wig?

In my continuing saga of answering Missy's questions about my MtF transition path, a few I get on a weekly basis, a couple, every other week and finally others which I get frustrated with because of their frequency.

It's OK though.  One of her fondest repeats is when she sees the different sides of me, it is still me.  I know it's tough to explain to someone who knew me for nearly 30 years in my guy life, that between my ears I was never him.

Yesterday, to try to clarify, I pulled out the "mirror theory".  In other words, I know who I am now and to live it easier, a feminized version of my body makes the process easier.  In other words, I'm reflecting woman back to the world. But, to confuse her even more, on occasion I'm more of a gender fluid person.  Especially when I have to pull out my guy self from behind the curtain and insert him back into the game. Not unlike a puppet. I just know some of you are waiting to use the ventriloquist and dummy cheap shot!

2010

At this point,  I think I'm making a little headway with her (until she asks the same question next week.) Plus, while I am at this magical point, I try to go further in-depth and explain the impact of not having to not wear a wig.  Probably the most the one biggest positive of my HRT.. Whichever hair "Goddess" gifted me with all of this wavy, to the middle of my back hair- I will thank forever.

During the last several years since I went "wig-less" only a couple women have asked where I got my wig and they knew me through my "wig" years. They commented how "real" it looked and of course I said it is!

The best wig story I have comes from when I was in a gay venue watching a drag show some time ago and one of the performing drag queens came up and said, "I love your wig, honey."  In one of the rare moments I have ever seen a drag queen at a loss for words was when I said, "How do you know it is a wig, girlfriend!"  To the left you will see a 2010 "wigged" me (wigged out!).  I had two dark long wigs, the other was very straight.  Both seemingly were an "all or nothing" proposition.  Either I could get them on my noggin in a fairly decent matter - or I couldn't. More than once, I spent a night feeling totally uncomfortable because of my wig.

This whole subject is just another matter we share with the genetics. On Twitter I read recently a brief exchange asking where the editor of the xoJane site telling an inquiring reader-no, that is not a "Morticia Wig" she was wearing-it was her own hair. OOOPs! I wondered briefly if that was like asking a woman "when she is due" and she is not pregnant at all. Plus, lets not forget the upkeep required for your hair.
 
To the right is the last  picture taken of me in a wig and coincidentally is the one I was wearing when the drag queen commented to me.

Look, I do know how fortunate I am to be able to have and wear the hair I do.

I also know great wig ideas for novice cross dressers and beyond are available on Femulate .  Stana's style surely goes from head to toe!




.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

And.....Hereeeeee we go kids-another glorious Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition. Ker Plunk!

Page 1.- The week that was-or wasn't.  Outside the friendly confines of the Condo, the world  went on. Most of it out of our control. Fortunately, the din over Kelli Maloney (the boxing promoter in the UK) coming out as transgender is subsiding and the media awaits the next well known person who opens the door and comes out.  We certainly know they are in the shadows-anymore, it's not if it will happen it's when.   We will have to check the Las Vegas betting lines to see if they have odds on when!

Page 2.- Mama June and TV Land Revisited.  In this case we didn't use the old TV initials yesterday to

The "Anti-June Cleaver?"

discuss transvestites, instead remembering June Clever from the "Leave it to Beaver" sitcom.  The post evolved (or unraveled) into a discussion of stealth, SRS and life back in the day.  Michellewhois was kind enough to fill us in on what the era was like for her.  Before we get to her, just to fill you in, "test driving a new car" was a paraphrased remark I heard Ophra  Winfrey make to a transgender wife who was on a show (long ago) with her original genetic wife.  The trans woman had just gone through SRS and said she had no desire to have sex with a man. Ophra looked at her and said why if you bought a new car,(vagina) why wouldn't you test drive it?

 Cyrsti you said in this article how back then ( the 50's and 60's), we should get the "Car" (I love that metaphor), try it out and go stealth. Back then it was very necessary to do just that for the very few that had the operation. Even back then, gays were treated better than those of us that were transitioning. I remember back then some of the names that even the gay guys used to call us and don't even think that lesbians back then gave us any support. If one didn't disappear, only to become someone new, you took your life in your own hands. If you were lucky you found the underground groups that helped support you. Drag queens were your only friends at times. Today it's a very different world. I wish that back then it would have been at least half as good so I could have been a wife and even a mother.

Thanks Michelle!  I was more than happy to pass along that old horse I have been beating for years about how hard it was to even consider coming out, back in the day.

Page 3.- Checking Gender Levels.  It seems no matter how far I try to run from labels, I get stuck all up in them.  The latest label-rama ruckus here in the Condo involved the relatively new label "gender fluid". I said I think it is a very workable label and semantically very close to transgender.  I translate transgender literally-between genders.  Pat added:The assortment of labels that get attached to us is mind blowing. I would agree that gender fluid can work with your concept of equilibrium.  I agree and like the term.  I think it comes from the younger peeps among us who are trying to find their gender way and is yet another label I would have loved to have embraced in my youth-as I searched.

Page 4.- The Back Page  Semper Fi!   If you haven't had the chance to check out the nothing short of amazing Mtf transformation video here in the Condo yesterday (of the former Marine) be sure to do so! She does an amazing job of describing the trip many of us took to get to where we are and the euphoria we feel.  As I said, I didn't believe the video was real at all until I read the background bio in the latest issue of Frock Magazine.  And YES!  my latest "Frock of Ages" article is on page 50!  

And with that, we are out of here.  The hot humid weather has returned here in Ohio as September approaches and my old dog and I have errands to "walk"  I love you all! Have a good week! 

Checking Those Fluid Levels!

I guess the last couple of posts here in Cyrsti's Condo may make the point more effectively than the one I'm going to discuss.  The "Madam LaNoe!" and star gazing posts were essentially genderless.  I wondered aloud with Liz what the average peep who stumbled across this blog the last couple days would wonder why the transgender tag is on it at all.

Maybe Pat answered part of it when she commented : While I have been following your blog it is clear that you are going through a multi year transition. I assume that at some point you will reach a point where you are comfortable knowing that you have always been a blend of male and female but that your components have been reprocessed and have reached a new equilibrium.
Many others are on the journey

Pat didn't use the term "gender fluid", but on occasion I have considered the term as an interchangeable one for me and one which causes more than a couple of my "critics" to go "bonkers."  I understand why for the most part.  They are the "black and white" thinkers who have very little respect for a life out of the male/female binary- no matter how they identify. So would the "strict gender constructionists" be more comfortable with Cyrsti's "Gender Fluid" Condo?  I'm thinking not.

Regardless of all my babbling,  Pat's right, I am reaching a point of equilibrium and it's mainly because of the friends who refused NOT to accept me for anything other than the person I was. THEY brought me full scale out of the closet.

I will argue the equilibrium began when I began to accept my life as a man, even though I desperately didn't want to be there.  Of course some would argue, I wasn't desperate enough or I wouldn't have stayed there and those people are right too.  But, time, circumstances and lives change in a blink and  we all have reasons of why we are here  Plus, when you are almost 65, you have a freight train full of baggage to sort through to even try to understand why.

These days, it's not really a question anymore of checking my gender levels.  I'm at rest finally about who I am and when you think about it, gender is merely how society sees you. If I spend a day in drag as a guy now, at the least I'm a rather androgynous one doing things like mowing the grass.  Somehow, I don't think it would be appropriate to wear a skirt, heels and full makeup to mow.So I get a man to do it and that just happens to still be me. To put the whole idea in perspective, I have exactly two pairs of men's jeans left,one set of casual men's clothes and my old Army uniform and a bunch of unisex t-shirts.

Transgender, gender fluid, glorified cross dresser or whatever label anyone wants to slap on me, there is only one that really matters- survivor.

All The Letters in the Same Room

As you may recall, I posted here in Cyrsti's Condo about attending a Trans Ohio community organizational meeting.  Several were set up around Ohio. The main idea was to explore the main issues we face as TGLBQ individuals.  Meetings such as this have a tendency to either be used as a platform for some to vent on specific grudges or become extremely boring as a few seem to love to hear themselves talk.

This two hour meeting was neither.  The mediators managed to keep an incredibly diverse group on track. Approximately 14 people attended, two of which (including me) identified as transgender. The remainder were either gay or lesbian and even a person who identified as gender fluid.

As issues were discussed, we transgender women were able to mention primarily the lack of understanding from the rest of the community.  Of course, another main concern was the total lack of cooperation under the entire community umbrella.  In fact, the meeting started with one individual launching a mini rant on another person who wasn't there.  Needless to say, an unfortunate example of the problem.

My personal goal for the meeting was raising the goal of visibility for the transgender community.  I pushed the need for a central "clearing house" within the TransOhio organization.  What I mean is, a spot where a gender studies program, church or any other organization could go to get information or even a speaker.  I know it happens now, in isolated spots but to expand it, I believe you need an easy accessible central place to go for info.  In Ohio at least, one of the more populous states in the union, none exists which is publicized.

Here's an example.  A local small liberal arts very upscale university where I live, does have some sort of gender studies program but the professor I'm acquainted with who is involved knew absolutely nothing about trans people. In fact, he only acknowledged the gays and lesbians in his speeches. Plus, I know larger schools probably have several trans students who have come out but are the major issues of suicide and health care being discussed in  insulated college settings?

As with any meeting, what happens with the discussions in the days and weeks ahead determine success or failure.  We will see.

The Inner You

I just love it when I find the occasional "free spirit" on line who happens to be trans or gender fluid or...how about themselves. Here is my latest "fave".

Perhaps you remember not long ago I mentioned the Androgyn Beauty Blog. She has a "killer" wonderful attitude to go along with those "killer" legs!

Follow the link above and read her "philosophy". The only thing I am missing is - I will be damned if I can find her name!

It helps I do agree with her belief that "androgyny is the new human future."

All Ready?

Proving once again, time flies when you are having fun, or sleeping, I received my presenter application for the 2014 Trans Ohio Conference.

Last year my presentation was based on "Gender Transitioning Later in Life."  Assuming I didn't embarrass myself too badly last year,  I will be accepted to give it another go this year.  The only problem I had was time, of course I'm so much of a "ham", I could have spoken a few more minutes. Before everyone just got up and left!

Seriously, this year I'm thinking of adding more of a "gender fluid" piece to the presentation and removing the transgender veteran part.  It seemed there was little to no reaction to the trans vet section which was fine of course.  Lately though, I have been wondering if we "old peeps" are missing a valuable lesson which seems to be filtering through the younger parts of our community.

Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo, I passed along a post from a west coast college.  In it, the comment was made that fewer individuals were resorting to surgery to present their gender needs. I'm wondering if people in my age category who were presented with black and white gender choices all their lives, may be missing out on the gender fluid idea totally?  First, we were isolated and in the dark about what was going on with our gender identifications. Then, we went into the era of SRS being the answer to your gender problems and without the knife you were a pretender.  It's not such a radical thought if gender is between your ears, do all of us need SRS?

All of you know, I am biased and I don't really believe a store bought vagina makes me any more or less of a feminine person but I do respect those that do. Just not the ones who don't respect me.  One way or another, the subject certainly could result in a few lively discussions over adult beverages after the seminars.