This Kid Cleans Up Well!

It's not often I run into a "before and after" womanless beauty pageant picture like this one!

Dragging Yourself to Work?

This post is actually not about me, but a couple of guys who worked for me over the years and their Halloween costumes.  As many of you already know here in Cyrsti's Condo, I worked for years in the commercial sit down restaurant business. During Halloween, the "bosses" allowed us to have an evening of "dress up" for the servers and bar tenders.  Over the years, I think surprisingly, I did not have very many instances of my male servers showing their "feminine" sides in drag.  Two did though and here is the story:

The first server was a very effeminate "out" cis gay guy from an era when gay men did not have as much acceptance as they do today,  He didn't care (which was cool by me) but on Halloween he came to work as a drag queen - complete with heels. First of all, the company costume rules forbid any potentially dangerous footwear.  Heels definitely fit that description but- when the store manager (a genetic) called him on it, he said "why? you wear heels in here all the time?"  I bit my lip and vacated the area and the next time I saw him, indeed he was wearing his pumps.  The "moral to the story"?  His feet were killing him after his four hour shift.  He had won the fashion battle, but lost the war!

The second story comes much later in another restaurant and really came out of no where.  I had one very androgynous server on my staff and really gave it no thought how he would dress for the Halloween shift and in fact, didn't even though he was scheduled.  I (like everyone else) was surprised when he came in to work cross dressed and I didn't even know him. My only real tip off came when before he came back to clock in for his shift, he stopped at the bar and said good by to his girl friend who had brought him to work.  His costume for the shift was simply coming as one of my genetic servers and he effortlessly succeeded.

I can't even begin to tell you how many of my regular guests that night asked me who "she" was and was it true "she wasn't?"

Those two experiences were about it over the years.  Not many "braved the restaurant" elements to cross dress or do drag at Halloween in any of the restaurants I managed.  Over all, it was just too tough to do because of safety considerations. As far as I was concerned, I never even considered coming to work as a girl at all.  In fact, one year I came dressed in my old Army uniform (yep-still could fit in to it  in the mid 1990's) and one year as "God".  I wore white sheets over my regular dress shirt and tie. Wore one of my huge "mistake wigs" - a long straight platinum blond and cut off enough to make my self a "Fu-manchu" mustache.

Think of it this way, if God says did you enjoy your meal- you dammed straight better say yes!

My Failed Political Career!

Perhaps you have read this Halloween experience of mine in Cyrsti's Condo in the past, but I'm old so I think I'm allowed to repeat myself, if I can remember!

This experience was actually a year after my "French Woman" Halloween party and happened at a really neat old "painted lady" house.  A "painted lady" is actually one of the terms used around here for a wonderfully ornate Victorian wooden house.  The setting was a "natural" for a Halloween party!

I was still with my first wife and working as a DJ at a local radio station and getting increasingly bold about going out cross dressed at Halloween.  On this night, my wife stayed home and I actually went with one of the news girls at the station. (See I told you I had lots of rope!)

I finally gave up on a mystical perfect feminine character costume and just dressed as one, but this time not slutty. If I had a costume, it was simply a man cross dressed as a woman to the best of his ability.  By this time of my life, I had had the chance to accumulate a small wardrobe, a couple wigs and shoes.  I picked what I felt was a nice outfit. Wig, dress heels etc.  The whole effort was so mundane I really don't remember exactly what I wore - except people at the party began to comment who the "well dressed woman was." Well needless to say, I was really flattered and could move away from my spot by the vintage coffin with it's skeleton-as my date.

Then, as the evening progressed, I got the biggest surprise of all when a young politician and his girlfriend invited me to leave the party with them and go to a couple others.  It was one of those I wonder "what if" I had moments of my life. I didn't go and he ended up serving many terms in Washington.  (No Pat-this all happened many years before Monica Lewinski.)

Like a good cross dresser, I made sure the news woman got home and I went home to my wife and life-never knowing if I had a chance at a career in Washington afer all!

WassssUp?

Been out of town for a couple days and even away from Cyrsti's Condo too, although my mind is always churning out "stuff."  Even though I don't think I am particularly good at it, I'm going to try to connect a few dots for you all on a couple thoughts.

First of all, when I went "a surfing" this morning, Stana's post today on Femulate caught my eye, especially the part which said she (Stana)been mentioned  Cassie Powney who did a post about Jodie Lynn a London makeup artist "who has dedicated her career to helping men reveal the woman within..."   To see it all follow the link above over to Femulate and go from there. (Of particular interest is the "channeling" mention of a few of Stana's beauty hints.)

Jodie Lynn at "The Boudoir (before and after)

After I read it and looked at the pictures, certainly I was impressed by Jodie's work but I was equally "struck" by the words "some transvestites just come in every so often to be cross dressed as women and then go back to their lives as men.  

Of course I lived that same life for years in my own closet and I remembered vividly if everytime I did step out of the closet, would I lose my way and never get back.  More importantly, did I want to.  Well, you all know how that is working out for me!

One way another the post is informative and even more so when you read Stana's (femulating) Halloween ideas for her workplace!

Well, those dots were a little farther apart than I expected.  so we will pick up the dots in a future post!

Halloween Comes in Many Flavors!

Over the years, I have approached Halloween from many different angles, many depended on my goals for the evening, where I was in my transition and who I was with.

The very first Halloween I went all out cross dressed was the one I have written about extensively here in Cyrsti's Condo.  It was 1974 in Germany, I was in the Army (of all places) and ended up with me coming up to several people as a transvestite not long after that.

Of course, wearing a short skirt in everyday Army life was not beneficial to earning a honorable discharge-so back I went into the closet.

During the next several years, I shied away from going to parties where I knew several people-opting for bigger venues.  I agonized for literally months on a costume that in my mind was sexy, somewhat passable and creative.  I was never as creative as Pat and  her "Monica Lewinski" costume.

Looking back at the "impossible dream", I think I made it a couple of times-that's it.  I'm not saying though I didn't have fun.

As I see it, here are a few of the Halloween party dividing points.

Will the cross dressed Sarah Palin please reveal himself?

1. Are you going to a party at a friends or with friends?
2. Do you want to be passable, comical, trashy or creative?
3. Is your costume based on a current well known woman? Example, Lewinski, Sarah Palin, Elvira in her prime, etc.
4. How "detailed" do you plan to be?  Shaved legs, nice wig, etc?
5. Depending upon how "accomplished" you are-how will you handle comments? (Which will come.)

In later posts we will take a closer look at all of these!

I "Know" You?

I'm going to mention"Trans Dar" only one more time here in Cyrsti's Condo (I promise-maybe!)

Over the past decade I had only really three opportunities tt meet and perhaps interact in a positive way with sisters I knew were cross dressers.

• The "matron"  in the mall.  I saw this person walking below me as I was standing on the "mezzanine" (2nd floor) of this mall I was in,. At first glance,  she was a tall matronly dressed older woman-until she passed me by and I saw the back of her head. The whole back of her very male neck was exposed by an extreme ill fitting wig.  I tried to get down an escalator to make eye contact and even say something.  I never saw her again as obviously she was moving at a very "un-matronly" speed.  I just wanted to re-arrange her wig!

The "grunge girl" in the mall.  I don't even know if "grunge" is the proper style description. I have added a non cross dresser picture to show you what I'm talking about. (left) At any rate, this younger CD was tantalizingly close to pulling off the look.  But- She was having a real difficult time with walking in the boots  and I thought was making novice cross dressing mistakes such as wearing every bit of her outfit too tight. I made no attempt to say anything and just followed along at a safe distance and watched how everyone else viewed her.  Truthfully , she took the "pressure" off of me.

•  "The lady in white" in Friday's. If you don't know, "Friday's" is a restaurant/bar chain in the United States.  Years ago, I was a regular in a couple nearby units and they always treated me with respect. One night I was at the bar and noticed a tall well dressed woman come into the bar area, order a glass of wine and go sit down behind me somewhere. I was 99% sure she was a cross dresser because she wasn't fluid like a woman, dressed too perfect and scared to death. I sat there for a bit giving myself a chance to gather up the courage to say hello.  I waited too long though and when I did look for her a short time later, she had downed her wine and bolted out of there. For months I looked for her, but never saw her again.

Well kids, there have been other times and other places where my "Trans-dar" was going crazy, but not for a long time.  I don't know I have a reason why. Perhaps the "luck of the draw" or I'm off in my own little world. I have an amusement park there!

Biggest Fear?

I know many of you are deep in the closet and I remember completely the pain and paranoia it creates.  The problems of near misses and discoveries are legendary.

Of course I have my own, and many of you have commented here in Cyrsti's Condo about yours, but here is one classic.   From an acquaintance of mine years ago, who just happened to open the door to the wrong person when he was cross dressed.

I am going to switch pronouns now and say she was able to cross dress extremely well into an attractive classy woman.  She also was single and her house was pretty much a central "meet-up" point for a group of individuals I knew who spanned the full spectrum from an admirer or two to transsexual women.

As she told the story, a couple of friends from our group were due at her house at a certain time.  As the time came, the doorbell rang and when she opened the door it wasn't the expected friends at all.  The person outside was one of her male co-workers!  When he saw her, he got this little grin on his face and asked for his male friends name.  Even though her mind was exploding at the moment, our cross dressing friend said she managed not to lose her cool and said they were going out later and he had just ran up to the store.

Fortunately, this was in the mid 80's back in a time when his career could have been totally ruined by being outed at all-but he wasn't.  Instead, in the very intensive male job he worked at everyone wanted to know who the new hottie he was dating was.

Even though he had the benefit of appearance when he cross dressed, he said he was always careful to see who was at the door before he opened it.  No matter when it was.

I'm going to try to come up with a "best of" list of my screw ups in a later Cyrsti's Condo post!

Female Impersonators Versus Drag Queens

Some time ago here in Cyrsti's Condo featuring Baby Martell and Thomas Brayden commented:

For women it is often acknowledged in past times to allow them to would like to undercover dress them selves as the member of the other sexual regarding work in addition to career factors particularly for men took over career where they can pass in addition to are men. For the other area in the gold coin males have worked in female impersonator orientated occupations obtaining crossdessed since ladies.

Our vintage impersonator to the left is actually Lee Shaw.

Thanks to Thomas for the comment which may indeed be a "Google translation."

I "think" what the translation was trying to come up with was, in the past women would disguise themselves to work successfully as men.  Men on the other hand who could pass as beautiful  women could find work to as female impersonators. 

The reason I say that is a translation, a long time ago I chatted a couple times with a transgender woman in France.  Being the "tricky" person I am, I tried to use the translating tool on my end.  She politely told me me DON'T! It was coming out on her end as really screwy. 

Which brings me to the point I made in our Sunday edition, I don't think of -or mention the tons of readers we have from around the world.  I am old school and just humbled by the process!  Thanks to all of you!

Plus, any sort of translation takes me back to my Army days when I lived in Thailand and Germany for an extended time- I never did pick up any feel for the languages.  Some would argue I still struggle with English!

So again, thanks to Thomas for giving it a go...as Paula would say!

Finally, feel free to comment in your native language and there is a good chance I can get it translated on my end - if you tell me where it is coming from.  A year or so ago I was even able to come up with a translation from a Maylasian  person in Kuala Lumpor.

Sometimes it is a small world after all!

Purging Revisited

I felt it was worthwhile enough to use Billie's comment and rerun the picture I used

The same thing has happened to me! Let it go, you're still you! And you're looking good! Thanks for the pic, Cyrsti.

Number one, I'm sorry I didn't make it clear the cross dresser in the picture is not me but the situation has happened to me-kind of. ( If anyone knows who she is, please pass the compliment! -And thanks for being so incredibly protective of me!")

While we are backtracking here in Cyrsti's Condo, let me explain what "purging" has always meant to me:

It's the act of throwing away all (or a portion of) your "stash" of feminine articles  When I saw this un named person, I thought immediately someone had found her "stash" hidden away with the lawn mower.

I'm sure like me, all of you have creative stories of where you attempted to hide your stash.  When I was a kid, I used an old box above the garage which was marked as books and even kept a water proof dress, mirror and makeup hidden back in the woods beside our house.

Later in life, I would keep a certain amount of items in a closet space my semi approving wife knew about and then had other stashes hidden here and there.  For the most part the scheme worked well, my problem was flat out getting caught cross dressed in the world-where by mutual agreement I shouldn't have been.

The most embarrassing instance of having my stash discovered and thrown back in my face came just before I had to go into the Army.

I was living in an apartment with two other guys in a medium sized college town in Ohio.  Truly, I got a little careless with how I was hiding my wig, clothes and shoes, and was "discovered."  The worst part about it was, I didn't know right away.  My two roommates were still in college and went home for Christmas break.  I had graduated and was waiting for my due date at Ft. Knox.  A few days after they had left, another guy who had kind of just "hung out" around there happened to stop by.

Looking back, he had to have known about the discovery because he casually turned the conversation around to cross dressing.  I figured what the hell, in a month I would be in the hills of Kentucky running and doing all sorts of other fun Army stuff.  So I told him what he obviously already knew, I was a transvestite or cross dresser and I would show him.

Secretly, I was fantasizing he would find me amazingly beautiful and ask me to go out with him.  What I really found was someone had stolen most everything I had.  So that was that.  When everyone got back from Christmas, of course they all viewed me a little different and even blamed their girlfriends for stealing my things.  I just them to go to hell, where I was going I couldn't wear them anyhow.

I made sure I let them know that even though their girlfriends enjoyed the supreme female privilege of not being drafted- I hope the rest of them would soon enjoy the military too!. 

Cyrsti's Condo "Don't You Just HATE This?"

Dammit! My wife found my "stash" and it's trash day!!!

We Are NOT Related...But...

Referring back to the recent Cyrsti's Condo post I wrote about my interaction with the young gay boy the other night, I received a quick comment from Paula of Paula's Place  concerning her first visit to a local Pride event and thinking almost the same thing. She said: I was in Brighton for the biggest Pride event in the UK at the weekend, and there were an awful lot of boys there (Gay and Straight) who could do with learning that lesson... (left).

As I always do, after my impulsive outbursts die down along with the emotions and passions- my biggest misconception continues to be that in any way I am "related" to the rest of the gay and lesbian community.  I suppose dots could be connected between how I identify as my  gender and my relationship with a lesbian woman but that's it.

"Back in the day" I'm sure, we as the transgender community had to be lumped into a bigger group for identification and political reasons.  We became the "T" in the LGBT which is populated now with lots of other letters.

I suppose what I don't understand about the human critter and groups in particular is why when the groups become successful,  they forget their origins and become inclusive or even enabled. 

Of course the most "enabled" group of all are the cis gay males.  For the most part they are working the system wonderfully to their advantage (good for them!) but like any cis man- just don't have the empathy to reach out to those they don't understand.  The other night, It did my soul good to watch gay television personality Andy Cohen use the transgender word with Laverne Cox. Perhaps with enough exposure my "little buddy" from the other night will learn - I wasn't cross dressed any more than Laverne Cox was.

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised - of the the town I'm from and unfortunately still live in part time. Yes, it's the same city only 50 some miles from Columbus where I had to introduce myself to the local Equality Group as the only transgender woman  They only use the words gay and lesbian and the newly elected female black city commissioner is now the deciding vote to keep  discriminatory TGBLQ laws on the books in the 6 th largest city in Ohio.

Maybe I'm asking too much?

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature "cover" today is "Miami Housewife's" drag queen James Davis / Elaine Lancaster.  

His character on the show proves once again how well cis gay males can mimic women while cross dressed - and - how well many genetic women can mimic drag queens on the shows.

Not So Long Ago...

As I look ahead at the TGLBQ Pride events coming up-it's also time to look back at a time which some of us still remember...when cross dressing was against the law.  Check the picture on the left of a cross dresser being arrested in New York City.

Just last summer a closeted cross dresser asked me if he just went to a gay venue in nearby downtown Dayton, Ohio was he in danger of being arrested for simply dressing like a woman.

Told him I could not say for sure if any law like that was still on the books but if it was-it had never been enforced with me.

Don't I Know You?

This is finally the blog post I promised all of you here in Cyrsti's Condo about my surprise meeting Saturday with an old friend I hadn't seen for awhile.  It's a classic cross dressing story with a transgender finish.

To briefly catch all of you up, my grand daughter's bat mitzfah was Saturday and for a couple of reasons I decided to cross dress as a guy. Over 100 people attended including a small contingent of my brothers family.  I am in one of those places with them where they know-but they don't- I'm trans.   

My partner Liz and I were sitting under a big tree with them eating after the ceremony when a 20 something woman drifts by and gets every adult person's attention.  My 12 year old  grand daughter had declared the "dress code" for the day to be "island chic" and this woman had no problems with the concept.  All she wore basically, was a matching halter top, Capri pants-and her tattoos.  You know how it works, the genetic women were staring her down for a totally different reason than the men. Then, there was Liz and I.  Liz is a lesbian, artist and has a few "tats" of her own.  She had her own reasons of "acting" like she wasn't looking. Of course I just wanted to look like her.

As I did take a closer look though, she was looking back at me and a split second later, she stopped quickly and came over to Liz and I.  Of all people, I have known her for nearly five years now and she is the one who introduced me to her lesbian Mom, who I am still good friends with.  The classic part of the chance meeting was she had only ever met my old male self years ago once.   Even back then I hated for that to happen. I presented as only feminine to my new group of friends and since I had not transitioned yet, male to my old world.

Saturday, I said her name and she was good-real good-she stayed with my male pronouns and began to use my male name-when I told it to her. Needless to say, Liz, myself and the woman were in a little shock (for the obvious) but also, my family was wondering how I knew this exotic woman at all?

The meeting made for a classic gender comedy, as a little later we all got out of ear shot of my family and were able to talk.  After a while, my daughter was able to join in. She had only met her once.  The three of us had quite the chat about the irony of the afternoon and how two of them were able to very admirably mis-pronoun me as "he" when I wanted them to.  To put a little icing on the cake, as we were having the chat just outside of the restroom complex in the park we were in, a guy came out of the men's room and said he was sorry he had to interrupt our "women talk." The whole conversation I think was good for my daughter who of course knows of my feminine life but had never had the chance to connect any dots.

If you want to talk about a day which completely reminded of the MtF gender transition path  I have taken- Saturday was it.

Oh, by the way, the woman's Mom is the one who took me along to a NFL Monday Night Football game and she has never seen me cross dressed as a guy.  Which is the way I plan to keep it.

Busier Than a One Armed Paper Hanger!

I think this was one of my famous phrases in the daily management communications log in one of the restaurants I worked in "Outta Time, Outta Money, Outta Luck!" (The evening was particularly tough.)  The statement could describe to a degree the rest of this month for me.

Liz and I are only two weeks and a couple days from the Trans Ohio Symposium weekend May 30, 31, and June 1st.  My workshop will be the same as last year-the basic where, how and whys of how I was able to begin HRT and transition so late in life.  Liz, on the other hand should be doing her own workshop about being the partner of a person who does.  The dynamics of how we identify alone, causes many heads to spin.

As of now and probably in the foreseeable future, both of us retain our birth genitalia. I retained my sexual attraction to women as did Liz.   All of that is simple enough until everyone wants to know how Liz and I met and was it when I was more or less a guy.  (No I wasn't.)

Perhaps a workshop could be called "The Taboo of Trans Lesbianism and It's Effect on the Gay and Lesbian Community."  Then again, I'm lucky to get done what I have to do, with workshop handouts etc.

I have also given myself a deadline to get my book "Stiletto's on Thin Ice" E-published by then.  I'm going through the "Vook" publishing tool, from which for a fee, they distribute to Amazon and Barnes & Noble. In order for all that to happen I have to leave an extra week of time.  So, using anther time honored expression from my Dad growing up, "It's time to S__t or get off the pot."  As you can see, I'm a "outta time person writing."

In the cash department,  no difference either.  I knew coming into all of this and taking an early Social Security retirement, I would have to scramble to make ends meet-and I have.  So now,  I'm not buying any new sun dresses for a Caribbean cruise.  I would just get sick on it anyhow!  I'm just trying to scratch together a few extra sheckles for some party time in Columbus (Ohio) which is a wonderfully diverse city.

Finally, I have always believed luck is what you make of it.  When I set myself up to do dumb or impossible things, I did fail and vice versa. Sort of like thinking the mini skirt and heels I wore to the mall so many years ago was a good idea! Now,   to the best of my ability, I think what I'm doing at Trans Ohio is the right thing for the right reasons and at the end of the day-that's all I can do.

So forgive me if Cyrsti's Condo is looking a little dusty these days.  Maybe I can get one of those cross dressed  "French Maid Sissy Types" (Pictured at left.)  to come clean it?  Will she work for fish nets and heels?

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Well honey....about the "other woman's" clothes you have been finding around the house....

Cyrsti's Condo "Question of the Day"

How many  cross dressed Sissy Maids does it take to feel up a "Mistress"? And why are they smiling?

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

No one told me the bra goes under my shirt?

How the Other Half Lives

Don't hold me to the percentage of transgender sex workers around the world. Probably way short of 50% but I did encounter a trans sister of sorts almost a week ago a couple blocks from my house.

I live a couple blocks away from a less than upscale neighborhood corner known for it's bar (home to a fatal shooting last summer) drug deals and of course prostitutes.  Just a little insight into why I'm cleaning out and moving.  I've been here for the greatest part of the years between 1978 and now and the area has come and gone with it's inhabitants- now this time-I'm going.

Going I was, when this person walked across the cross walk ahead of me in the street, wearing a red "hoodie" jeans and matching red lipstick.  Obviously a cross dressed or transgender hooker of color. Nothing was coming and as I slowly rolled through the stop sign our eyes met for a moment.  My first impression was to feel total disgust until I thought of one particular young trans woman I met last summer at the Trans Ohio Symposium who grew up on the streets of Detroit and LA when her parents kicked her out. Again I felt disgust-on how she had been treated.

It's likely I won't see her again and even more likely to learn anything of her life.  Just seeing her for that brief second though gave me a brief glance into how the other half lives- and how helpless I felt.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our Sunday feature cover  is the beautiful Sheila Verissimo.