Could You Just Quit?

After getting flat out smoked by several cross dressers about my comments about a fetish orientated predatory CD a couple weeks ago, I have a tendency to be a little more careful on what I say. or write.

What I said was misconstrued to mean I was better than them because I am transgender, which is so far from the truth. The truth is, I can't do what cross dressers do and just dress up a couple days a week. It nearly killed me.

All of this brings up a question from a comment I received from Connie, could you give up your cross dressing?

" A few months after I had ventured out of the closet, I attended a fancy cross dresser event. The "Grand Dame" of the group had taken a prominent seat, and her attendants were bringing food and drink to her. I noticed her obvious limp when she got up and headed for the ladies room (in her heels). I asked her, later, what was wrong. She told me that she had developed a foot problem, and that the doctor had told her she'd have to give up wearing heels altogether. So, she told me, this was going to be her final outing - because it would be no fun if she couldn't wear high heels. Although I was pretty sure, even at that time, that I was not a cross dresser, I knew enough that she would not be able to quit cross dressing*. I told her that, but she was adamant that decades of cross dressing was now coming to an end - just because she couldn't wear her heels. I think she may also have had a shoe fetish, but it was unbelievable to me that one could give up such a large part of their life for something as small as a pair of shoes. All the time I was talking with her, by the way, I was distracted by her nose hair that was curling up from her nostril at least an inch. Now, that may well be reason enough to give up trying to present oneself as a lady - not to mention a Grand Dame!

This was just one of the "I know I'm not a cross dresser if..." I added to my list, in preparation for my impending transition. No, I would not be happy if I had to wear a boot, or even have to give up wearing heels, but it would not change who I am. Whether it be from an old football injury or from wearing very high heels too often, there's no need to put oneself on injured reserve when you know this trans life is not merely a game.

*I heard later, after I had left the group, that the Grand Dame had made a reappearance - hobbling in her heels."

Thanks for the comment! I know it would be impossible for me to give up my feminine lifestyle.  

I assume it would be just as difficult for a cross dresser to quit doing it too.  Sort of like the "Grand Dame" and her heels.

Comments

  1. you cannot quit being yourself which is why its unlikely you could only be yourself a few times a month. I know I couldn't..

    ReplyDelete
  2. The transgender umbrella is large, and seems to be growing. Yes, the truth is that some of us just cannot live a compartmentalized life - being at different places on the gender spectrum as the situation or desire may dictate. The one thing we all have in common, I suppose, is that we all have a gender identity different from the binary norm that has one's gender identity and assigned-at-birth gender in congruence. There's something more to it than the intensity of dysphoria, but I believe that may well be a large factor. I know that my dysphoria could not be tempered through cross dressing alone. Cross dressing, for me, was a means toward an end, giving me the confidence and self awareness of who I really am - and needed to be every minute of every day. That doesn't make me better than one who is satisfied to express their gender identity with more plasticity, whether that be through cross dressing, non-binary identification, or a drag act. It does, however, make me different.

    As someone once said, when you meet a trans person, you can only say that you've met just one trans person. Of course, the emphasis should be on person, and not trans. I think that most of us would prefer we be taken for who we are, and not what we are. I may have a personal moral objection to someone who is fetish-oriented and predatory, but I shouldn't care whether they are also trans....except that my insecurities may cause me to be somewhat ashamed that I am under the same umbrella. What I think of such a person is really none of my business, though, and I can only do my best to show others who I am (a good person, I think, who happens to be trans). I can't be worrying about others, especially having had lived most of my life worrying about how others would see me (as a trans woman). As my mom used to tell me, pick your friends, but leave your nose alone - unless you happen to have a long nose hair protruding from it - in which case you may make more friends if you removed it. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's truly a fine line that we walk when we post our thoughts and feelings online. I don't get much feedback on my little blog, https://shannyncomesalive.blogspot.com , so I often wonder why that is the case. Many people that run across it may not agree with me at all, or think I'm just boring, or whatever.

    I know what you mean about being thought of as looking down on someone who "just crossdresses". I am still mostly in the closet, as are most of my online friends, who help keep me sane. And it's so hard to know what the correct label is for ourselves, but the point is that labels only help to an extent. They can easily divide more than unite. I truly believe I'm a trans woman, but to others, maybe I'm not. Regardless, I'm just me. Intent in writing is so difficult to discern online. I'd always request someone ask me to clarify if they think I'm putting someone or something down, before reacting negatively. It's a fine line.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Quit what? Presenting as a woman?...No way! Such a pretty lady!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts