Thursday, November 29, 2018

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

As we make the journey out of the closet, often our only friend (or enemy) is our mirror. Alas, though, the mirror tells us only what we want to hear. Again, good or bad. Most of the time, we don't look as good as we think we do...or as bad. We also don't realize the feminizing experience for the novice cross dresser or transgender woman is a trip full of more trial than error. The great majority of us don't have guidance on what is potentially our best, most flattering, style choices. Many end up as the 40 year old mall cross dressers in mini skirts and heels. Before we learn better styles.

The only way to get out of the mirror is to forge our way into the world. Which is easier said than done. Here is Connie's example:

"Again, we can only truly see ourselves when we see our reflection in the eyes of others. We first venture out, away from the reflection given by the mirror in our own homes, to be seen. Still, that is not enough, as we are only displaying ourselves as that same image we saw in the mirror. Exposing ourselves to others as more than that two-dimensional reflection finally allows us to see our full selves through other people. This is as true for our gender as it is for anything else about us."

Thanks! A great point to be sure. What happened to me was, the more I got out, the more I grew into my own feminine personality and away from just the outwardly appearance. 
From that point I learned I wanted to pursue my life on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) as a transgender woman.

1 comment:

  1. The degree of ones gender dysphoria, along with the degree of ones narcissism, seem to have some bearing on presentation and expression. Although not mutually exclusive, some trans people can successfully lower the dysphoria with narcissistic behavior alone. For others, the effect is only a temporary fix.

    I can really only speak for and of myself, but I have had enough contact with other trans women to see that I am different from some, and closer to the same as others. It is more often the cross dressers I know who have less gender dysphoria than I have. Whether or not they are more narcissistic than I, they tend to be happy to express their femininity occasionally (often, as the opportunities present themselves), whereas my dysphoria only became greater when my cross dressing experiences had to come to an end. It wasn't enough to make myself pretty for an event, as my femininity was just as strong when the event ended. Like Cinderella, all of the gilt disappeared at the appointed time, but I remained the same girl - the guilty girl without the gilt, usually. The "Mirror, mirror on the wall" comes from a different fairy tale, but my fairy tale has long since passed. It ceased to be when I no longer saw my feminine reflection as being appealing to my male-self, because my male-self ceased to be when I faced my own reality. As always, though, your own mileage (and reality) may vary.

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