Friday, July 20, 2018

Stuck to the Tube?

I guess the correct way to say it these days is "binge watching" a certain television or cable show on whatever media you choose.

All season long, I stayed fairly current with the TLC Network show, Lost in Transition. As with anything else in the transgender community, the show had to deal with many complex situations as it followed the lives of four couples dealing with the husband coming out as trans.

Connie followed up with us here in Cyrsti's Condo on her take on the show:


"I did a mini-binge watch of episodes 7, 8, and 9 a couple of days ago when it was 93 degrees outside and I didn't feel like moving around anyway. I cried a few times, but not for the couples who were breaking up over their respective transitions. Rather, I cried for the acceptance of family and friends for the others; happy tears!

I decided to watch the series based on your blog post, but I was still a little tentative about it. So much of these shows seem so decisive in their edited presentations, and I get so tired of the "reveals" and comparisons of the subjects' presentations between male and female. There was definitely some of that here, but I put up with it in order to see how the wives handled their husbands' transitions. After all, my wife and I just celebrated our 46th anniversary last month, and I'm still in awe of my wife for sticking with me through all of this - even if our relationship has changed significantly as a result of it. I can't say that my transition and relationship fit into any of the experiences these couples demonstrated, but my wife would probably relate to every concern these wives had. I say "would probably" because she has no interest in seeing this show.

The one thing that I liked was that the producers brought out the fact that a transgender person's transition is not hers/his alone, but requires transitioning by everyone else concerned. I have been very mindful of that reality throughout my own transition, and that may be the reason I'm still married. Still, as I have said since day one of our marriage (throughout the many years of my repression and beyond) that my wife deserves most all of the credit for its success. Musicians don't always make the best partners, anyway, but throw in the gender identity thing and........

I found it hard to understand how these trans women could be all-in on the hormones and surgeries before even taking the rudimentary step toward social transition. Whatever happened to the rule of living authentically for a year beforehand? I think it's a wise thing to do, even if it's not a requirement. If you are not able to accept your feminine-self, or can't cope with presenting yourself to the world without a professional makeover, then your chances of being happy with yourself are greatly reduced.

Of course, I think I've been successful with my transition because I've done it the right way! Then, I think again and realize that no two transitions are the same - nor are any two trans women. You won't see my wife and I on this show, if it is extended, however."

Thanks! Congratulations on your Anniversary. :)

1 comment:

  1. Thank you Crysti for posting the FabulousConneDee comment.

    I strongly identify with her last two paragraphs even though I am a continent away (UK England) and have not seen Lost in Transition. I had planned to move over to taking pharma hormones but I now realize that I am not yet ready. I have more work to do on self-acceptance and social integration into the female environment. In other words, my spiritual journey needs to catch up with my physical journey.

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