Tuesday, May 7, 2013

My "Boy Friend" Jeans

For the first time this morning I actually felt a pair of my old guy jeans navigating over my hips when I put them on!

Nearly  16 months ago, my first prescribing doctor told me with the HRT dosages I was on it would take at least year to see weight distribution in my hip area. I have indeed thought the process was happening but had never felt it until today.
Of course my cynical mind went to work and I thought "well here I am in my own boyfriend jeans and he was me."

On a deeper level of course I'm finally to a point as a transgender woman when my new feminine curves are starting to fill out all of my clothes- male or female the right way.

Of course I still have a long way to go but I decided to step back and look a little closer at my progress.

Here's an example:  I have always told you all I'm not a frilly girl and I sleep in some of my favorite ex large long t shirts.  For once I paused to take a look at the progress I have made- in just the T-shirt and I was scared. The shirt came down to a couple inches on my thighs and of course about three quarters of the way down my arms...A good test.

First of all, I am my own worst critic and nothing is good enough.  I have to say as I tried to be unbiased, the person looking back at me in the mirror looked fairly feminine. I thought Wow,  this HRT project is coming along how the "experts" told me it would.

My hair on my head grew and got fuller as predicted. My breasts have developed close to a small "B" and the hair on my body has nearly disappeared (except my beard of course -dammit). Finally,  my skin grew rapidly smoother from head to toe. Now the weight distribution has been just some more icing on the cake. All I could think was "Wow! this is very cool!". But I better not eat any of the icing!

The "I told you so expert" I referred to was my endocrinologist. On my last visit after my blood tests he said "Well your estrogen is up nicely and your "t" is very low. We should stay the course on the HRT we are doing now and let the estrogen win the battle for your body." None of us should ever forget messing with your body's hormones on HRT is not without risks. So I am happy to have an "expert" in my corner- even though I'm impatient for more changes.

In the meantime my estrogen is winning battles when I wasn't looking and now I'm waiting for her to win the war!

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